LIFE IS BEauTIFUL SO WHY NOT SUBSCRIBE TO PR0N?



Before anything else, to everyone on the East Coast, particularly in the NYC area, go to http://theidproject.com/gl_bwarner.htm for further info about my upcoming talk there on August 27th. I have two other area gigs which are as follows:

• Bluestockings - New York, NY - Author Event - Sunday August 26, 2007- 7 pm - Contact: Brooke -for info at Brooke@bluestockings.com
• Barnes & Noble - Greenwich Village - Author Event - August 28, 2007 - 7:30 pm

I just got back from the San Diego Comic Convention where, among other things, I had a lovely time at the Suicide Girls booth with lovely Bee Jellyfish and Cake. Bee said that the interview I did on her radio show is one of the most talked about interviews she's done.

Now I've previously said here in this blog that you don't need to subscribe to Suicide Girls to see my stuff on there. And you don't. They offer it for free to anyone who wants to look. But you know what? If you like what I write there you should probably think about subscribing to Suicide Girls. And here's why.

I'll bet dollars to donuts a whole lot of you out there either subscribe to or buy certain Buddhist magazines on a regular basis. And those mags may tell you great details about the Dalai Lama's latest comings and goings, who's been seen out on the town with Thich Nhat Hahn and what the Instant Enlightenment Roshis are selling this month. But they don't have articles every week by me in them. I guess that sounds obnoxious. But if you're reading this I assume you're a fan or at least you love to hate what I write. In either case you might want to support the people who are publishing it.

Bizarrely enough the folks at Suicide Girls actually pay me to write a column there. The money they send me each month has helped defer the costs of running our weekly Zazen classes at the Hill Street Center (I pay for that space) and helped me go out and do talks in far flung places. I wouldn't have even been able to go some of the places I've gone in the past year at all except for spending what I get from SG. I plan to use more of the dosh they send my way to do more Buddhist stuff in the future, including retreats and all kindsa things.

No matter what you think of their business, the people are Suicide Girls are supporting the Dharma. This is an amazing, wonderful and valuable thing. Naked girlie pictures are making it possible for lots of people to hear about Buddhism who would never have been exposed to it in a million, billion years otherwise. I don't really understand it myself. But these folks are making real Buddhism available in an area that had been heretofore untouched by anything of the sort. This is an incredible and mysterious world we live in.

Look. Even if you subscribe, no one's gonna make you look at the nudie pictures. That's up to you. They don't make me blush. It's really pretty tame stuff by today's standards. Then again I spent 11 years in Japan where the attitude towards such things is wholly unlike the Puritan inspired attitudes most Americans hold. When you live for a few years in a place where one of the top kiddie songs is all about tits it kinda makes you more at ease with things like the Suicide Girls. (See You Tube thing below. This is not late-night adult oriented anime. It's a kid's show called Zatch Bell)

Besides the nudie pix, if you subscribe to the site you can post comments right there under my articles instead of posting about them here.

No one at SG is telling me or even encouraging me to try and get you folks to subscibe. I don't get any bonuses for new subscribers. But I've just been thinking about it a lot lately and wanted to say this. For $4 a month you get 4 installments of my writing. I put in a lot more than a dollar's worth of work into those bastard things every week.

Anyway, you don't have to subscibe to get the articles. That's true. If you can't afford it, no problem. Or if you just don't want to, I'm not gonna try and make you. If it creates a big moral dilemma for you, maybe you should avoid that. Or maybe you shouldn't. It's up to you. But if you can I think a few more of you should subscibe.

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Moving in 3 days

Busy busy!

With shopping and scriptwriting that is!

I just spent $325 yesterday in Ikea (the annual sale like lousy one leh...) buying 1 pink computer desk, 1 pink chest of 3 drawers, and a pink computer swivel chair --- ALL NEW IKEA PRODUCTS WITH AN AWESOME SHADE OF BABY PINK!!!





Can't find a photo of the computer table

YOU GIRLS MUST ALL GO AND BUY THEM TOO SO THAT IKEA BRINGS IN MORE PINK FURNITURE!

So exciting, we are moving into the new condo on the 1st, which is only 2 days more!!!

I can't wait!! I have been shopping around on ebay, and I found this pink microwave, pots and pans, toasters and whatever not... and they are all so cute!

Unfortunately Mike has forbidden me to turn his supposedly manly bachelor's pad into a pink fluffly place, so well... All pink products must be "quarantined" in my princess room.

Sian... Maybe one day he will get colourblind and see all pink things as blue? My only hope. Does stabbing the eyeballs work? He's sleeping now, I could just...

SO ANYWAY.

Yesterday after Ikea we also went to Courts, and Courts is so absurd!

First we saw a mattress that we really liked (its $1390) and we asked the young sales guy if for that price it is selling just that mattress (it was sitting on a white leather bedframe selling for, like $800 or something).

He said yes.

Soon after, an old Indian couple came and they enquired about the mattress, and in a rather haughty way asked (as if taken for granted) if the bedframe would be given free to them.

The young salesman said "No" and the Indian couple walked away.

While Mike and I were still sitting on the mattress and discussing about it, the salesman's friend came along, and our salesman begin to talk to his colleague about the Indian couple, insulting them (in chinese) and saying how ridiculous they are to expect the bed frame to be given free.

Mike and I walked around for a bit after this, deciding if we should get the mattress that day or not, and when we decided to do just that, we met another sales lady whom we finally sealed the deal with.

We asked the same question as before, because we needed a divan and if a divan is going to be sold at a discounted price together with the mattress we would buy it.

The saleslady walked away to check, and when she came back, she was all bouncy and told us with glee that they are going to throw in the bedframe for us for free!! A NEW SET! With divan, stumpy metal legs, leather backing (although it's quite ugly, but it's removable) and everything!

SIAO OR NOT YOU TELL ME?

I'm not complaining, but they are so disorganised la, the salespeople like all don't know their stuff, and what, if we didn't check, they are not going to give us the bedframe lah!

And the poor Indian couple got scolded and everything!

And if they are giving away something that's $800 for free, shouldn't they put it on the sign so that people would be tempted to buy the mattress? Can boh dai boh chi like that give away bedframe one meh??

Courts is so weird.

Sorry, I'm very auntie. Sigh.


In other news...


Gillian was asking me to try writing some scripts for her, and so I did!! It's so weird to be suddenly behind the scenes and hearing people act out what you wrote. Kinda fun, but I don't know if I can say more, so yeah.

I'm kinda sick of the whole Disgusting Bloggers saga.

Apparently, Wanbao and Straits Times both reported it somewhat, but I didn't see anything!

It's a little overdue, but few days ago I saw these two parody videos and almost died laughing.



Done by the very talented Jayden, who even bothered to cut and include small snippets of me. But no thanks for my signature "Bah!" - that was like 3 years ago when I was superbly fat!



Second one by none other than Kenny Sia.

Hilarious!

What's Steven Lim saying at the 21 second mark?

That's all!

Pictures soon. I've kinda lost the interest for photography and just stopped taking photos. Very very bad!

p/s: Please don't write more comments on the LZB blog post. I am sick of all the stupid comments so I'm just deleting everything.
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Virginia Wine Tour

Marcia planned a day trip to several Virginia vineyards in celebration of our friend Deb's upcoming wedding and move to New Jersey. Marcia rented an SUV, which shocked me because she works for an environmental group and is militant on global warming, but it was nice to have lots of room.

The first place we stopped was crowded with an engagement party. They annoyed me to no end, mostly because they would not leave the cute guy behind the counter alone. They even asked him to join them to tour other vineyards. (which he declined) It made me love him even more.

I am no wine snob, but I did not find the wines we tasted very appealing at the first two places we visited. In fact, it was some of the worst wine I have experienced since drinking Blue Nun in high school.

But that all changed at our last stop, Rappahannock Cellars. I liked almost every wine I tasted and bought four bottles to bring home. We also bought two bottles to drink with the crab cakes, chicken salad, and bacon cheese cake we had for lunch. It was delicious.

Of course, it didn't hurt that this guy was working at Rappahannock Cellars. He was stunning and very friendly. These wine makers know what they are doing, putting hot guys behind the counter to get wedding parties and gay men to buy lots of wine.
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CLEVELAND'S SCREAMING & LIVING ON PURPOSE

Thanks to everyone who showed up at the Cleveland's Screaming premier. Not too many of you did, so a lot of people are going to be spending the next 10,000 incarnations as cabbages. I will pray for you as I eat my cole slaw. The ones who did show up were pretty enthusiastic, which was very nice.

AND for those of you who didn't get enough of my lisping Living On Purpose interview it is up here. So go listen.

AND Also it will be re-broadcast on www.radioearnetwork.com next Monday (3-5pm EST in the second hour) and Friday (11am-1pm EST). That's East Coast Time, guys.

Live the lisp! Love the lisp!

I will be at the Hill Street Center tomorrow. But I am out of there like a shot the minute the Zazen ends. Was supposed to go to SD Comic Con today but my hotel reservation got royally screwed. So I booked a different (better as it turns out, people must've cancelled) hotel for tomorrow. This means I gotta whizz right out there if I expect to get anything at all done.
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Pissing me off

POST WITHDRAWN

A friend of mine told me that he speculates (with a certain amount of certainty), that LZB's blog is set up by Jack Neo's company as a publicity stunt.

(which would explain why someone bothered to take so many photos of her)

Of course, this is just speculation - believe it or not, up to you, but until I see a video of LZB actually blogging I won't believe it.

So anyway, I've taken away my previous post, because I personally feel that the undeserving scheming commercialised bastards don't need any more publicity.

Plus, it is not being fair to the old lady if she didn't actually write all that.

Poor old lady, used as a pawn. (If this is true, which I believe it to be.)
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SHAMBHALA SUN ARTICLE

Here's a nice article that's going to be published in the upcoming issue of Shambhala Sun. You can also go here to read it on-line instead of as a PDF file. I'm not sure I see myself quite the way the writer does. But that ain't no thang. It's still an interesting article. To me it's interesting to be able to see that perspective. I don't see myself as part of any movement. As I've said a zillion times, I really, honest to God thought there was absolutely no possibility at all for Hardcore Zen to even get published, let alone become popular. Shows you what I know. Cuz last Friday for the first time ever in my life I was stopped on the street by someone I'd never met before who recognized me from the photos on the backs of my books. That's a very strange thing...

Anyway they wanted me to include a link to the Shambhala Sun website if I used the article here. So there it is.

Don't forget, if you're in the LA area tomorrow, you are hereby ORDERED to attend the screening of my movie Cleveland's Screaming at the Egyptian Theater.
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Road Trip: Episode 7 - The Night Market

Go watch it now!

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Me and the Deathly Hallows

OMG MY LIFE AS IT IS IS ABOUT TO BE OVER!!!

I'm currently around half into the last and final book of the most awesomest written thingys ever (I'm incoherent coz I am so flummoxed by intriguing bits of the book, so don't correct my English for a bit).

I got my last book yesterday from Times in Tampines Mall, and when I got it, I didn't even look at the price (but instead went to kiss JK Rowling's face on the back page of the book).

Honestly, if I were to consider it, I think the maximum amount of money I'd fork out to pay for her book would be, like... $500. Anything more and I'd use means of theft or piracy, but man, that's how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE HARRY POTTER!!!

And I think Rowling COULD sell the book for that amount, but she doesn't, and I'm going to take that as a sign that she is indeed a deity of some sort!!!!!

I LOVE YOU JOANNE ROWLING! (Cried a bit when I read the site, it's such an inspiring story of how Harry got known to the world)

(mild spoilers)

In the biography Rita Skeeter bullshitted for Dumbledore, I personally think, JK Rowling wrote it as a tribute to the horrific movies that are done for the book, especially that piece of shit Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore was portrayed as a deranged old man who talks loudly and tries to strangle Harry.

"LIES!" shouts Harry, at the article. Hear hear! It's the same for movie 4!!! Here's what I think of you, movie 4! *shows rude gesture to the imaginary shocked director*

So anyway, so far the book is proving to be quite depressing, with people dying here and there and I've already cried like 3 times in 7 chapters or something!

I don't see how they can finish finding all the horcruxes (horcruxes was underlined red to symbolize a spelling error, and I was like, "Did I spell the plural wrongly?" then I realised that it is a magical word obviously not in the dictionary, kua kua...) within the second half of the book, when there's still four to destroy!!

Well, anyway, I'm obviously not going to blog more because I am going to return to the best read of our time, and YOU ALL SHOULD GO BUY THE BOOK TOO!

I don't care if like a majority of you "don't give a batshit about this stupid book" or "only have seen the movies, no big deal..." this is my blog and I'd write about anything I want!

On a completely different tangent, Qihua also bought a DS lite (that makes like, ALL of my friends, almost), and there are two new colours, metallic rose and silver!

Nintendo should really pay me some money, I made so many people buy that shit!

Lovely.

Lovely day, you all!

(Ikea having clearance sale, I'm going!)

*******

Trivia about Harry Potter are welcome in the comments, BUT DO NOT POST THE ENDING.

My cousin was telling me that the Chinese papers reported the ending of the book, and that MADE ME SO FURIOUS!

If anyone dared to tell me the ending I'd box them in the face and demand they pay me back my $53.99!

I didn't go buy the fucking book only to have the ending revealed to me by some idiot!

Thus, I will not moderate the comments, and will not read them till I've finished the book, and if you intend to read the book you shouldn't read the comments too because I'm sure some idiot is a gigantic spoiler!

This is the time you can feel free to slander me on the comments. Yes yes, I'm a slut, I'm fat, whatever.
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LAMB OF GOD

Last night I was backstage at Ozzfest. Yep. It's true. Mr. D. Randall Blythe lead shouter of the massive metal band Lamb of God is, of all things, a Zen practitioner and fan of my books. Not only did he get me and my friends Bret and Ronny backstage, he dedicated their song Redneck to li'l ol' me right there in front of a city's worth of metal heads spread out across the hills of San Bernardino. Here's a video of the song:



We were on board that very bus you see in the video. Though the hot babes must have been elsewhere at the time. I did not see Ozzy, by the way, though I did spot Sharon Osbourne and Jake E. Lee.

I've never been backstage at a big-ass rock'n'roll concert before. That was pretty interesting. The organizers handle things very efficiently at Ozzfest. Set lengths and start times are strictly observed. It's fairly hectic before the show begins. This may nave been one of the reasons I never pushed all that hard to be a rock star. I mean, in the Eighties I gave it a shot. But even at the low level Dimentia 13 achieved, I could see that it was a damned hard way of life. I have a lot of respect for people like Randy who can handle it. I don't think I could have.

After the show the bands and road crews had a big ol' barbeque with more roasting meat than I'd ever seen. Luckily Randy was kind enough to provide a Bocca Burger for me. Those guys were chowing on nothing but sausages, buffalo wings, beer and Jagermeister. Not even buns for the sausages or chips to go with the wings. Like an Atkins Diet get-together gone mad.

There was sort of a biker party atmosphere happening, although you got the impression it was a little less dangerous than a real biker bash. Even scary looking musicians are kind of wimpy at heart. Still, had I not been invited into that group, I would have steered well clear of it. I talked for a while with Frank Novenic of Hatebreed. Frank's from Cleveland and was actually impressed to meet an ex-member of Zero Defex. It's not too often that happens! I guess we made some kind of a mark, like a piss stain on a wall. We both knew the late Dave Araca of The Guns (the Cleveland band, not the LA one). Frank has a tattoo from Dave as have a whole lot of people I know.

Randy is an intelligent, straight-up and kind of bookish guy in person. I'm gonna try and work out an interview or conversation with him later for a Suicide Girls piece.

Funniest comment of the evening. We're talking to this girl Melissa who is running away from a man she calls Leatherface. At one point someone about 15 feet away trips over a bunch of bottles and emerges unscathed, though the altercation makes a hell of a noise. Melissa turns to us and says, "I'm stoned. Did that just happen?"

At some point I'm gonna write this all up. But for now just an interrim report to chew on.
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Rehoboth Beach

On Saturday morning, Dan walked to the bookstore to get his Harry Potter book, and Kevin and I walked into town to get breakfast. The steady-stream of traffic for the beach had already started, so we had a bit of a wait to be seated.

When we got back to the house, Dan was reading Harry Potter and Kevin and I kept disturbing him, until he put down the book and started to play with us.

We then walked to "Poodle Beach," the gay section at the south end of Rehoboth Beach. We went swimming in the ocean, although it was quite a shock when we first got in because the water is still incredibly cold. Kevin went swimming with his sunglasses and lost them when trying to touch the bottom. (bottom of the ocean)

We then walked the boardwalk into town so Kevin could buy new sunglasses. We ate boardwalk food and played video games along the way. It was a very fun weekend with perfect weather and great company in the beach house. It has been several years since I spent a summer weekend in Rehoboth, and all I know is that I will have to go more often.
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Potter Mania

Dan, Kevin, and I went to Rehoboth Beach for the weekend. After arriving and drinking several fresh-squeezed peach juices with a touch of rum, we decided to go with Dan to the bookstore so he could secure the new Harry Potter book. I was not prepared for the mass chaos that was waiting for us in the bookstore at midnight.

There were hundreds of parents, children, and other Harry Potter fans in long lines for the three cash registers. Many were dressed up as the characters in the books, and having not read any of the books or seen any of the movies, I only recognized the Harry Potters.

Given that, I am not sure who these girls were trying to be. But they were the first in line and when the owner of the bookstore was on the phone with the official countdown to 12:01 am, they started jumping up and down with excitement. It was like being at a rock concert.

Given the long lines, Kevin and I decided to go to the Blue Moon for some cocktails, where we saw and spoke to this guy because I recognized him from QVC and Dan got in line to get his book. He left after 20 minutes because the line wasn't moving and bought the book in the morning and read it all weekend.

BLOGGING L.A.

My good friend Helen Jupiter just put up an article about little old me on Blogging L.A. It's nice. But who's the creepy guy in the Hawaiian shirt?

Helen is (was?) the lead editor at the Suicide Girls newswire and is the one responsible for getting me the gig over there, for which I shall be eternally grateful. Which reminds me, I gotta go work on the next Suicide Girls piece.

Bye!
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STUCK IN PHOENIX

I'm in Phoenix waiting for a weather delayed plane back to Los Angeles. I was in Montreal and Detroit this trip.

While I was waiting I wrote back to about 50 people who'd written me up to 2 years ago. I really don't know how to keep up with the correspondance I get. Apologies to all of you out there with burning questions who've been waiting ages for replies. What you need to do is get enough people to buy my damned books that I can quit my paying job and sit around answering e-mails all day.

While in Montreal I experienced both an isolation tank and one of those sound & light machines that are supposed to produce instant meditation "deeper than a Zen monk." So all of you crumb-bums out there who told me I couldn't say anything about that stuff unless I actually tried it can bite me.

And by the way, the "you can't criticize it unless you try it" argument is total bullshit. I have a reasonably good idea that dog shit does not taste like chocolate without ever doing a blind taste test.

Anyway, I'm writing up my research for Suicide Girls. Watch for it soon.

Plus GO SEE MY GOSH DARNED MOVIE next Wednesday July 25th at 7:30 PM at the Egyptian Thetare in Hollywood, Californy. Do it. You must. Or I'll beat you up.
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Shamrock Restaurant

On the way home from Gettysburg, we stopped at the Shamrock Restaurant for late lunch/early dinner. I knew the place was going to be kitschy, but I was not prepared for all of this.

Our table was right next to the fireplace, so I took this picture of Corey standing in front of the patriotic art. Every nook and cranny in the place was decorated with something in honor of God, Country, or Booze.

On every table in the restaurant, they had a reprint from American Trucker Magazine that detailed how the US Flag was created and what it symbolizes. My favorite part was when they misspelled "stripes" as "strips".

When I looked out the window, it felt like I was back home on the farm in Wakarusa, minus the mountains in the background. Then when my crab cakes arrived, it reminded me of why I love the East Coast. More interesting history, better views, and much better food.
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Gettysburg National Cemetery

Lincoln's Gettysburg Address has always been one of my favorite speeches. I love the fact that some blowhard gave a 2 hour speech while dedicating the cemetery and most people (unless you are Corey, who is a history teacher) don't even remember his name or what he said. But you remember Lincoln's speech, a brilliant, concise, and precise 269 words lasting a little over 2 minutes.

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation: conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war... testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated... can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war.

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that this nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate... we cannot consecrate... we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us... that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion... that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain... that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom... and that government of the people... by the people... for the people... shall not perish from this earth."
One of the tour guides at Gettysburg National Cemetery was dressed in a civil war uniform and I overheard his description of the carnage during the 3 day battle. It was hard to listen to his stories of the 48,000 dead bodies strewn across the battlefields, and the condition of the corpses when they were brought to the cemetery.

Most of the bodies were not identified and were buried in mass graves marked by the state unit in which they belonged. As we toured the battlefields and I thought about all of the death and destruction of the civil war, it made me appreciate Lincoln and his Gettysburg Address even more.

Eisenhower Farm

Corey and I took an historical day trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Our first stop was the Eisenhower Farm located on the edge of the battlefield. Because there is no parking at the Eisenhower farm, we had to take a shuttle bus. The woman taking Corey's ticket was our shuttle driver, who I felt really hated her job.

Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower bought this farm in 1950 to retire, but retirement was delayed by a decade when Dwight was asked to lead NATO and then elected President to lead our nation. This farm was the only home the Eisenhower's owned during their 53 years together.

The inside of the farm house is pretty much how the Eisenhower's left it when they died. This sun room is where they spent most of their time together. Eisenhower would paint, and Mamie would watch TV or play cards with her friends. The unfinished painting on the easel is a reproduction of the one that Eisenhower was working on when he died.


This is a Dwight Eisenhower original that is hanging in the upstairs hallway. His paintings are not that great, but I thought it was very cool that they had several originals in the house.

This is the master bedroom, where Mamie would often stay in bed until noon. She felt that every woman, when she reached the age of 50, should stay in bed until noon. She greeted many visitors and planned many events in this bed. She was also addicted to the soap opera, "As the World Turns" and when she had an event that conflicted with watching it, she would have a secret service agent watch the show and take copious notes to keep her up to date. Love her.

When I got to a bookshelf on the second floor near the bedroom, I was told that they were books that the Eisenhower's owned and read. I was looking at the titles when one jumped out at me. I am not sure what it is about, but I am going to pretend that it is dirty. I like Ike.

Creating the Top 7 disgusting bloggers blog

Don't we all just love backlash?

No seriously, thought I'd share with you guys my mentality over creating this blog post of mine.

I woke up one morning with a sudden urge to create a blog entry about all the disgusting bloggers around, because it seems that recently there are so many of them?

What makes a disgusting blogger?

With the obvious exception of Maddox (and me!), disgusting bloggers, are, to me, either (1) pretending to be something they are not or (2) think way too highly of themselves (and not in a joking manner, either, like I do).

There are, of course, many other really ugly and gross people around blogging too, but as long as they know their place, I totally have no problems with them. =)

Some of you have asked me, "Why do you have to do this to all these innocent people? They didn't do anything to you!"

Well, look around you, people... Did I do anything to all those people who wrote all those mean stuff about me either? No sire, I didn't! And I tell you, people who write about me do it way worse... I guess I do deserve a bit of it. :D

So I thought to myself, what the fuck? Seems like it's a fair deal - I want fame, and I get criticism along with it, right?

Survive it, and I continue with my work. Can't take it? Stop blogging altogether, and change your url!

And surely you all concur, people on my list are all attention-seeking people wanting fame.

And so, if here and there some fuckers would write bad stuff about these people on the list, why not me? Why can't I? Just because I am a wee bit more famous?

Now that's not fair, is it? Afterall, my blog is a platform for my views, and I am free to write whatever I want on it.

These "victims", so called, are also free to rebuke whatever they want, if they so wish to.

Of course, the smart way out of this is to take the high road and act gracious about it instead of insulting me back (personally, I think, insulting me back would be so much more fun and creative), which will naturally get readers sympathizing with the underdog and making me seem like a bully.

DO I CARE THAT I AM CALLED A BULLY?

Not in the least bit! I'm already being deemed as bullying handicapped-toilet users, foreign workers, filipino rape "victims", why not disgusting bloggers to cap it all off?!

Please stop telling me whoever and whoever took it so graciously and therefore I suck. I DON'T CARE! I'm tired of being fake and PR and being the bigger person. I want to be the petty and smaller person! (childish, but blame Mike, he spoils me)

So anyway, as someone rightly commented, Maia did invite me to her album launch in September 2005. Then, I didn't know her well (I only met her once before, when she was still a singing teacher), but I'd say I sincerely liked her then.

Circumstances, and perhaps, people change, and when she was a star blogger with me, I started disliking her (or rather, her online self).

Once, she left a damn stupid and act-PC comment on my star blog, saying something sarcastic like I am very superficial since I judged some uncle in the airport in LA. I deleted that comment, and our relationship (so-called, the superficial one we used to have) soured.

The last thing I like to hear about myself is that I am being fake, and therefore I felt like I have the need to clarify.

I don't like all these 5 people's blog persona, and it is unlikely I will like them in real life either (I thought Celeste was absurd in real life but didn't dislike her, although her blog personality is like... barf), so I don't care if they dislike me (please do dislike me, I don't know what to do if you guys are nice to me, it totally throws me off course).

It is, however, inevitable that I will see some of these people in real life (Maia and probably Nicole, whom I don't mind), and I guess if I see them I'd just pretend not to see them?

Sigh, wish Singapore was not so small.

Somebody else said something about me being fired from, supposedly, various media, and therefore, I am the real sore loser here.

Just to clarify, I didn't actually get "fired" from Stomp. My 3 month contract ended, and it didn't get renewed. In this rein are also May and Choy, Jaymee Ong, etc. I don't know if they chose not to continue or not, but seeing that blogging once a week is not that tough, I'd say maybe they also didn't get their contract renewed.

It's no big deal - I didn't fit into their rigid child-safe blog criteria, and therefore, I can't do what I do best (write in-your-face blog entries), and so there is no point in keeping me.

Nothing wrong with that.

Speaking of retailiation, Steven Lim does it best, of course. =)



Honestly, that man's a classic. He says I am a chicken pie (mmm, delicious!) and also that I am horny, among other things. And he asks Wanbao to sue me!! =)

He also kept talking to Mike for a good part of the video, but Mike can't understand a single word he said because of *snigger snigger* his perfect English.

Mike's like, "What is this man raving about, man?"

(Gillian says that Girls Out Loud gave him a meagre amount for his part in the show, something like $20 to cover his cab fare or something)
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Nationals and Nellie's

Dan, Toby, Tom and I went to the Washington Nationals game with about 2,000 other gays. It is the most men I have ever seen not watch a baseball game in my life.

Team DC, the gay sports league, sponsored "Night Out" where gays take over the upper deck behind home plate to watch baseball. The Nationals played well and (surprisingly) beat the Houston Astros. I am sure they won because of Dan's foam finger he bought before the game.

I have been to a few of the National's games this year and have fallen in lust with Clint, the "Nat Pack" spokesperson and all around hunk. You can see him in the picture to the right of Teddy Roosevelt, getting ready to throw a t-shirt into the crowd.

Before and after the game, we went to Nellie's Sports Bar on 9th and U. Our friend Daren is the general manager and has been working on opening Nellie's for over a year, which they did on the night of the game.

They had over a 1,000 people come for the opening, so it looks like Nellie's is going to be a huge success. Not that any of us had any doubts.

LIVING ON PURPOSE

Last week I was interviewed by Lynn Thompson for her radio show Living On Purpose. You can listen to the interview on line by clicking on this bunch of words that are in a weird color right here. Or you can click on the title of this article.

I'm listening to the first part of it right now. But I gotta run. I'm in Montreal at the Fantasia Film Festival, which is something I do each year for the company I work for. Then I'm off to Detroit's Still Point Center (info in the article right below this one).

I'm listening to it now. It sounds like I have a lisp.

Oh Hell. It's 10 AM. Which is 7 AM on my internal clock. I really gotta get out of here. Bye!
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Road Trip Epiosde 6 - The True or False Game


Enjoy!
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Oozinator

What were they thinking?
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A Weekend in the Country

I drove out to Sperryville, Virginia this weekend to visit Joe and Gregg in their mountain cabin. I had not been to the Shenandoah National Park area for some time and forgot how beautiful it is out there.

When I turned on the road that Joe and Gregg live on, I felt like I was in some bad horror film, driving up a narrow one lane road with nothing around. But after a few hundred yards, I came upon their beautiful mountain cabin.

It is like no other mountain cabin I have ever seen. Some of the locals call it the "car dealership." It is full of windows and modern appliances and furnishings. Gregg and I have similar tastes in decor, so I loved the cabin.

This is Joe, Gregg, and their cute dog, Gus. We went for a walk up the mountain, talked, played Boggle and Scrabble, watched TV, listened to music, gazed at the stars, drank wine, and ate lasagna. What more could you ask for?

I was struck by this sign on the drive, until I found out that the man that owns the place makes about $2 million a year making tables "so good they look antique."
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Top Seven Most Disgusting Bloggers (In the Singapore blogosphere)


The thing thats the most disgusting about him is: His face.



Or more specifically, his eyes? The look in his eyes? Somehow, he just looks damn perverted everytime he looks at someone in "earnesty".

Honestly! His body comes in a close second to in disgustingness to his face - it's old, flabby, sweaty, and JUST FUCKING GROSS!!

Worse of all, he loves to dress in near-nakedness, most of the time wearing his 5-seconds-of-fame-in-Singapore-Idol undies.



I'm sorry to tell you this Steven, but yellow is seriously not your colour!!!!!!!!!!! You know what's your colour though? A BLACK ARABIC SUIT COVERING YOUR EVERYTHING.

I don't know about you guys but everytime I see the curly black hairs on his inner thighs, I have an image of his penis, perhaps around 9 cm in length, limp and also covered in the grotesque hairs as well as an overhanging foreskin with smegma on it.

IT THEN PROCEEDS TO MAKE ME BARF!!!!!

I need to STOP IT WITH THE OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION!!

But honestly, it's not my fault is it?

You can almost "see" the horror between his legs too, can't you????????????????


Nothing more appealing than a sweaty old man with greying undies

I know. Gross. I couldn't find the photo of him being completely naked, but I guess that's good else I probably can't survive to finish this entry.

My little encounter with Mr Lim, sabo-ed by my director: Click if you are interested.

He kept spitting saliva out when he spoke. When I pointed this out to him, he replied, "Oh is it? (that cringable smile) No lar, raining."

I cringed so hard I turned into a lime.

Unfortunately, I was a lime without an umbrella, because Mr Lim really continued speaking. Too much.

After this entry, Mr Lim is probably gonna send me an email saying something like he wants to sue me for defamation - anything to prolong the drama, as usual with him.

When he reaches his lawyer's office to tell the lawyer about his intentions (I defamed his reputation and all), I imagine the lawyer will stare blankly at him for 2 seconds, waiting to see if Steven is joking.

When he realised this is all for real, the lawyer will laugh so hard he will roll on the floor, clutching his stomach in hilarity, all while emitting whoops of laughter.

Steven looks on at him, perplexed. Surely this behaviour is not normal for lawyers?

The lawyer then says, "WHAT... reputation????" and continues laughing.


Ugly, AND thinks the world of himself? Bad combination.




Every Monday, Shuyin and I will be vomiting while talking to each other on msn, because Maia's blog entries are THAT disgusting.

"Oh, please, stop asking me about Sly!" exclaims Maia repeatedly, because, well, OF COURSE EVERYONE'S INTERESTED IN NEWS FROM 9,000 YEARS AGO.

But guess who talks about him all the time?


Even bothering to talk a photo like him, of course

Yup, you know, because Maia is really famous for her singing and not that one-time scandal. Not. She know thats that's the only thing interesting about her, and she is smart enough to bank on it - all the time.

When I first joined Star blog, I was really surprised... Why does Maia get 300 comments on each blog entry, when her entries are so mundane?

Then I realised: More than half of the comments are left by herself, because she spends like 24 hours a day chatting with the 3 or so people who read her blog. -_-

I can't even begin to describe how loserish that is for a so-called celebrity, pandering to these loserish fans, so I'm just going to continue quoting Maia's ludicrously contradicting entries:


I quote (from her blog title):

"I know a fellow Singaporean because he... just said my name. I'm not famous, I'm just notorious."


Maia... Two words for you: HAS BEEN.

What were you, fifth in some contest 3 years ago? Who the fuck remembers you?

My favourite blog entry from Maia is this one, about style.

She said, "I don't quite bother to dress up since I'm not exactly anywhere near being ugly."

... except that every single photo she put up had her in extravagant make-up and clothes that would take hours to prepare.

If you are fucking vain, just fucking admit it instead of pretending not to care!

"Don't bother to dress up" huh? "Not anywhere near ugly?" THEN WHY DO TWO NOSE JOBS IF THAT'S NOT A PERMANENT "DRESS UP" TO COVER UP UGLINESS??

My second favourite quote from Maia is this: "I have loads of accessories, all in leather and metal studs. Rocker chains, belts, cuffs, leash (hehe), gloves etc. Honestly they are heavy but I love that biker-rocker look (but not the emo punk crap)."

Ok, ok, I get it.

So "biker-rocker look" is hot, but "emo punk" is crap.

I'd tell you what, Maia... BOTH ARE CRAP! They are stupid style choices created by the media, and people who believe in these stupid things enough are just, well, stupid!

Isn't it ridiculous that someone who is so into a stupid social norm is calling another (similar) social norm crap?

It's like me saying I believe in golden unicorns but, oh, people who believe in mermaids are dumb.

Having nothing interesting to say about girls serving National service, Maia resorts to the oldest trick in the book:


Dressing up in some army print ribbon and calling it a day.

Boy, she does make it easy for women to respect her, doesn't she?

When I said to a friend, "Why would she put up that picture? It will just make all the girls disrespect and dislike her", my friend replied, "Don't be stupid, all the girls already disrespect and dislike her." - pretty to the point, my friend is.

Isn't it funny? Stomp forbade me to use the word "bastard", but such respectable photos are allowed for the little children supposedly reading Stomp for the star bloggers' intellectual views on social issues!

If only I knew I was allowed to post up semi-naked photos! Maybe then I won't get fired, dammit.

Last quote (She can start a quote book all by herself soon!):

Maia: Aawww... Julen, you made me cry.

Julen: Maia, you are such a softie lor.

Maia: Piang, of course I'm a softie. Rockers look tough but are emotional people you know... and I cry all the time and I have to smell my smelly pillow and carry it with me around the house.






OKIE............................ You got to forgive me for writing this small snippet about you, but as you know, "professional bloggers" are very critical on the outside, but lovely and warm on the inside. "Rockers!!!" *Rolls eyes so hard they roll to the back of my head*

The last time I heard, rockers all called themselves rockers, which is why they are rock. MUAAHAHA


Trying so very, very hard and failing




Ok, I know my internet nickname is also very act-chio, but seriously, nothing beats "Ice Angel". There is no part of her that looks icey, and definitely not angelic, unless angels looked like her, in which then angels are definitely over-rated.

What's next, Marshmellow Princess? Or Fire Fairy? MUAHAHAHA... Or or or... Baby kitty? FendiGal? Don't stop me I am having so much fun!!! Pinky Bunniiex!!

MUAHAHA

Ok, I know I am picking on a young girl here (to be honest, 17 is not that young - if I were 17 and called my Ice Angel my peers will all look down on me), but what I reallyyyyyyyy cannot stand about her is:

Her photos.




Different lighting, same ugliness

Man, that's hard to swallow.

I don't know *shakes head*, the whole no-flash-grainy-open-eyes-wide-pasty-like-fuck-purse-lips thing is not working for me.

What's harder to swallow than a ridiculously contrived and aunty photo is... People saying that the photo is hot.


Looks like someone skipped their teenhood
and jumped straight to Sheng Siong.


They need to have their eyes dug out and re-checked.

Please, you say she is hot?

This, and This is hot. NOT this:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

No, I'm not about to hug you at all.

I know she didn't technically do anything wrong (except killing my eyes) and it's not her fault she looks like that, but the way she takes every picture just makes me barf.

If you set up a program that auto-scrolls all these blogs over and over again while tying me onto a chair with my eyes pried open with toothpicks, I'd eventually barf so much, I'm turn aneroxic.

Really don't need to try soooooo hard to act chio la, please. That, and you need to throw away all the blue nail polishes, pluck your brows, strip your mustache, and GET RID OF THOSE FUCKING GLASSES. And throw away all your current clothes.


Cannot take teeny-boppers and their photos




Honestly woman.

I have no problems with old ladies acting young, but...


kua kua...

You need to stop showing us your flabby arms.

Or swimming with condoms.

Or claiming that random people who take photos with you are your "fans".

Everyone knows writing stuff about me gets interest.

So people use it as a cheap shot to publicity for themselves.

Writing BAD stuff about me to get a reaction? An even cheaper shot.

IT IS SOOOOOOOOOO OVERDONE.

Ok, so you dislike something I did that was high-profile and heatedly discussed in the front page of newspapers.

Who gives a shit? Honestly, most bloggers claim they dislike me ANYWAY, so it's really NOTHING NEW.

Digressing, to all the bloggers who criticise me and etc rubbish I did that didn't please you - Did you think that by saying that I did something wrong, it ups your morality? Oh, it is so easy isn't it? I just say I hate child-molesters like Michael Jackson, and automatically it makes me seem like a good, kind person who loves kids. But who KNOWS? I might molest animals behind all that facade!!

So fuck off with all the criticism - it doesn't make you look any better. No matter what you blog about me, you are still going to be the mediocre blogger you are - well, once the heated reaction about a xiaxue-related post dies down. :)


End of digression.

Since, I quote from LZB's blog,

"For those who think I 'used' her to boost my readership, I think you are wrong. If I really want to do that, I should have left her a comment in her blog! So her readers can link me from there! Instead, I'm bringing my readers to her blog cos a lot of my readers don't know who I'm talking about"


... you think that by writing about me you have given me "publicity", here's your gift in return. :)

How do you like it? My 30,000 readers flocking to your site? Oh, you said you were very popular? How about NOW?!

Believe it or not, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 10 OR SO PEOPLE WHO READ ME BECAUSE YOU LINKED ME.

People who haven't seen my site before but have seen yours must have been your ancient friends using their grandson's computer, and who the fuck sells things to ancient people?

You think I'd wanna advertise adult diapers on my blog?

Tsk. I shall have some respect for the elderly and stop commenting on people who came on the same boat as Sang Nila Utama.

p/s: I just realised something. Real age is nothing on the internet, because it could well be a monkey updating the old lady's blog. Since that's the case, we should count a blogger's age by how long he or she has been blogging.

This means I am a OLD OLD 4-year OLD blogger, and she is practically a n00b.

N00bs have NO RIGHTS to criticize old bloggers, they don't know shit.

(The old lady is turning to her grandson and yelling, "DIDI! What is n-zero-zero-b?")



Old people are smelly



Maddox is the most awesome "web-master" (he says he hates blogs and is not a blogger) ever, but recently he has been updating once every 300 years or so. It's making me get a nervous breakdown everytime I open his site and see nothing new.

- I open the site

- I close my eyes, praying for an update

- I gently open my eyes, scared

- There is no update

- I check again to make sure - and there is indeed no update

- I spasm and foam at the mouth, eventually fainting on the floor

- I wake up and wonder where I am. When I recall what happened, I worry for Maddox's safety

- Life resumes after 3 hours


HATE YOU MADDDOXXXXXXXXX!!!

(Maddox is not from Singapore but I had to put one more person in else top 6 just sounds stupid.)


It's almost always worth the wait




Since many people have requested for me to include myself in this blog entry, I thought I would.

Afterall, how many people can be more disgusting than me?

I'd write about myself in a weird third-person perspective MIMICKING THE ABSURD WAY PEOPLE USUALLY TALK ABOUT ME. (this means that I'm being sarcastic and I don't actually think I'm disgusting, for stupid people who didn't understand. Sigh... This blog could be so much more succinct.)

WHO THE HELL IS THIS XIAXUE PERSON? I just visited her blog today for the first time, and I am shocked!

She is so rude and uses so much vulgarities! I can't believe such a person can actually have her own TV show!

Her show is so stupid, it's just about her doing stupid things, and Rozz is cool! Xiaxue, stupid!

Xiaxue is so FAKE. She had a nose job! So what if she openly admits to doing it? Still fake!




She is so hao lian of her stupid angmoh boyfriend. SPG! She never ever had any boyfriends of any other races, right? I can't be bothered to read her archives, but I am sure I am right and shall go on to accusing her. My accessment of her must be highly accurate.



Ewwww, Xiaxue, stop showing us your fake, act chio photoshopped pictures! You know that in real life you are just short and ugly!

So what if it's your blog and you can put up whatever you want and I can just not read it? You know you are now a professional blogger so you should listen to your readers right?

What is this thing about her saying that bangalas molest women during Christmas and NYE on Orchard road? RACIST! Never mind that there are reports all concurring on this... This is not a social issue, this is racism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY MUST REPORT HER TO THE WHATEVER GOVT BOARD!

Hope all her advertisers cancel on her. I'm going right now to complain to Stomp and whatever company else she works for.

I'm not being spiteful and malicious just because I am even fatter and uglier than Xiaxue! NO! It's not true I'm jealous of her having an easy life! It's because I want JUSTICE!

Oh, Stomp already fired her? Good! That whore. I don't have evidence that she fucks around, but I'm sure she is a whore due to her PAINTED MAKE-UP FACE.

And she looks like a tranny. And she is short. Fat. Ugly. Untalented. UNDESERVING OF WHATEVER SHE HAS GOT AND I DON'T!

I am not jealous.

Fat and short, but always interesting




Like, OMG ITS CELESTE CHEN!

Sisters Nicole and Celeste made ST headline recently, something about having 16,000 friends, if by "friends" they mean "lecherous desperate losers wanting online attention because they can't get any in real life".

Both of them are attention whores, obviously (not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you), and it is pretty apparent their aim in life is to get famous and they are doing everything to get it...

... but there's something just really gross about seeing a skinny little girl trying so hard to be sexy and putting up a raunchy dancing video of herself dry humping on youtube...





... Right...



Pardon me, I forgot I was writing this entry because I was so enthralled by the patch of hair that covers up approximately 66% of her face. That's a beautiful patch of hair.. so artistically arranged...

*Snaps out of it*

I tried to read a little of Celeste's blog, but HONESTLY WOMAN!

What's with the half-fucked grammar and the TINY PICTURES?? Who's going to click on every picture? I know, NOT ANTS! Coz to them, the photos are humongous!

Not that there is anything new to see, all the photos are of patch-hair-face and her boyfriend, who is OTHERWISE NAME-DROPPED TO DEATH: XU BIN, handsome by-product of Campus Superstar --- And snagging him must be the proudest thing Celeste has ever done.


How can we tell?


Nasi Kangkang...
I don't know why that word just popped into my head...


Because every other blog entry mentions him: By his full name.

Isn't it funny?

"I miss my Xu bin..." --- That's as weird as Wentworth Miller's girlfriend blogging, "I miss my Wentworth Miller." OR "Wonder if Wentworth Miller is going to call me soon?"

YES WE KNOW HE WAS A WEE BIT FAMOUS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP TELLING US HIS FULL NAME!

*roll eyes*

(I don't care if his name only has 2 parts, it is still apparent she is just name-dropping)


The other thing we know is that he doesn't seem to call her often.

Maybe he is sick of being dragged to be shown off on her blog via numerous photographing sessions everytime he is with her.


Celeste: "Hey Xu bin, come take a picture with me!"



Xu Bin: "But why? I just want to relax and watch... OH ALRIGHT, JUST PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN... Relax, I'd take the photo, I'd be your toyboy, just... just... alright your hour is up Celeste, you owe me $35.99."


I know... It's mean to judge people based on looks and maybe this Xu Bin person 1) really loves her 2) is totally disgusting, happy to camwhore and attention-seeking as well, but hey...

Now now... I know you guys are thinking I am jealous, but honestly dude, little boys are not my type. (I prefer green-eyed angmohs)

I don't deny I am feeling sort of, you know... that Celeste is very undeserving, simply because she is showing him off so badly, and it's like, you know, you just want to punch her in the face and pay a whore to seduce her guy away, failing which, just punch her in the face.

AND STOP WITH ALL THE "HE IS MINE AND ONLY MINE" shit Celeste... After you are done with him, I don't think anyone wants him anymore.


Nothing more gross than a crazily possessive unpretty girl
acting like she deserves a handsome boyfriend.




***** END *****

p/s: The blobs on the disgusting meter is supposed to be pools of vomit.
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