sex warehouse

That's what it said on one of those little light-up signs on wheels with the flashing arrow parked in front of a low slung baby-blue brick building on the road to the Southern Dharma Retreat Center (SDRC) near Asheville, North Carolina, where I led a retreat last weekend. Actually, SDRC is "near Asheville" in much the same was as Tassajara is "near Big Sur." Which is to say it's not really all that near. It takes an hour and some to get there from Asheville up a winding mountain road and then an unpaved single lane driveway that seems to go on forever around a lot of very precarious drop offs. The driveway is shared by some other houses up in them there hills, so at times you have to back up and pull into little tiny, hard-to-see turn-off to let hairy guys in big ol' pick up trucks loaded with firearms pass by. Actually, I didn't get a good look at any of those guys or their trucks. I’m sure they’re nice. But I did hear gunfire during one of our sittings. And when I passed by that church on the way up I was behind a big red pick-up truck with a bumper sticker that said, "I'm a coon hunter." Raccoons, right? Uh-huh. On the way into SDRC I went over several bridges that spanned a winding waterway called French Broad River. I wondered if it was OK to name a river French Broad River without specifying which French broad it was named after.

The retreat was sold-out. The body count was 27 people including me. A transvestite who’d signed up left within the first hour we were there, before we’d done any zazen or talks or even eaten dinner. Apparently he (she?) told someone, “To think I gave up tickets to see the Dalai Lama for this!” and stormed off in his (her?) pick-up truck in a shower of gravel. OK. Bye.*

The retreat itself was fine and dandy as far as I could tell. I had to design the schedule and tried to make it easy enough not to kill any newbies to zazen yet tough enough to qualify as a decent Soto-style Zen retreat. On Saturday we had nine rounds of zazen starting from 6:30 AM, mostly 30 minutes each except for the first one of the day, which was 45. On Sunday we followed the same schedule but ended things at Noon, as per the center’s usual policy. There were two lecture/discussion periods, one each day. I made time for dokusan (private talks with me, like anyone really needs that). Meals were semi-formal, taken in silence with meal chants beforehand, but not served in oryoki style (this video was done at a retreat I led in Shizuoka, Japan). They do buffets at SDRC and they are de-freaking-licious, by the way. They cook all their own stuff and use locally grown ingredients as much as possible. The bread is to die for.

The group was pretty homogeneous. A few college students, a few older people, a few metalheads, a few punk rock folks about my age. About half-and-half women and men. If the transvestite had stayed the balance might have been tipped. But in which direction? Among the metalheads was none other than D. Randall Blythe of Lamb of God. It was cool to see him there. I like Randy and I’m getting into Lamb of God.

At the end of the last day people got to turn in their evaluations of the retreat and its teacher. Most were positive, some positively glowingly postive. But, as usual, I focus on the negative. One review said something like, “The teacher was very close-minded and attached to his belief that zazen is best. The four foundations of mindfulness (or some such thing, I can’t remember) are the basis of Buddhist practice! Immature teacher.”

My response to that is to say that in my considered opinion the person who wrote that assessment is a poopie head. A stinky, smelly poopie head, at that.

Actually, this brings up a point I’d like to try and address. There’s a kind of expectation among people in the USA who are into Buddhism that teachers of Buddhism should be sort of pan-Buddhist teachers. That is, that they should not represent any one tradition, but should, instead embrace and teach all forms of Buddhism. And a whole lot of teachers out there do this. They’ll mix all kinds of traditions up into a sweet ecumenical stew that doesn’t really represent any specific lineage but includes everything. I say fuck that. It’s bullshit Buddhism.

If I go to a Baptist minister I might be impressed if he’s well read in the Torah and the Koran. That would be a nice little bonus. But I don’t go to a Baptist minister for a Bar Mitzvah or advice on how to celebrate Ramadan. Any Baptist minister who offered such services could only ever do them in a really half-assed way anyhow. In fact, I’d personally prefer my Baptist minister to have focused specifically on studying the teachings of the Baptist lineage of Christianity and not know much about the Torah or the Koran. Furthermore I’d be far more confident in what he had to say if he told me straight up that he thought that Judaism and Islam were fundamentally flawed. If he didn’t think so, why would he choose to be a Baptist minister and not a Rabbi or Iman? Of course it’d a whole different matter if he went from that idea to saying let’s convert all the Jews and Muslims and kill all the ones who fail to see the light. But that would be something else entirely.

See, I don’t know shit about Vipassana or Tibetan Buddhism or even Rinzai style Zen, or any other sort of Buddhism. In fact I don’t even know a fuck of a lot about any forms of Soto style Zen outside of the ones I specifically learned from Tim McCarthy and Gudo Nishijima. I’ve never practiced the other ones in any serious fashion and I’ve never been very interested in trying. I’m aware of some teachers within those other lineages whose work I think is pretty decent. But I’m still just not all that intrigued by them. I don’t want to destroy any of those other lineages. But honestly speaking I think the lineage I studied in is better and closer to what Buddha really intended. If I didn’t think so, why would I teach it? Why would anyone teach a style of Buddhism they were not convinced was the best one? Who would bother listening to such a teacher? Not me.

Buddhism is essentially an oral tradition passed down face-to-face from one teacher to the next. It is not necessary for a teacher in a specific lineage to know anything at all about any form of Buddhism other than the one they received from their teacher. It might be a nice little bonus if they do. Or it might just get in the way (it usually does if you ask me). In any case it’s not a requirement, nor should it be an expectation of their students. It’s good to get along with other lineages, and we all pretty much do. Some of my best friends are Rinzai! But we don’t need to try and incorporate their teachings into ours in order to satisfy some misguided notion that all Buddhist teachers should embrace all forms of Buddhism. Why should they?

The “four foundations of mindfulness” or whatever the fuck that person wrote are just words that try to frame what Buddha was getting at in a specific way. But what Buddha was getting at was not a matter of words. My words or Nishijima’s words or Kodo Sawaki’s words are exactly the same. But if you go to a teacher within a specific lineage, don’t expect that teacher to frame the truth in the same way as someone from another lineage.

However it is vital that a teacher be true to his (or her, but I’m gonna skip the “or her” from here on) tradition and – even more importantly – to his own personal understanding of that tradition. All that touchy feely pan-Buddhism is nothing but watered down teaching. It satisfies folks who strive for some kind of illusion of political correctness. But it’s false. You see guys running around these days claiming to be versed in twenty different traditions each of which takes decades to even begin to understand. Unless they’re 400 years old they’re feeding you a line and you’re a sucker if you fall for it.

Whatever. Hope you enjoyed the rant. Feh!

If you're not too pissed off at the foregoing come see me at the following places:

April 29th at 7 PM, talk at Warren Wilson College’s Buddhist Studies Group in Asheville, NC.

May 3rd my band 0DFx will play at Pat’s in the Flats in Cleveland with This Moment in Black History.

And on May 4th, 0DFx will play at the Kent Stage in Kent, Ohio in commemoration of the 38th anniversary of the infamous shootings by the National Guard.

On Friday May 10th we'll play an in-store show at Square Records in Akron's Highland Square.

Saturday May 10th at 7 PM (or maybe 6, they need to decide yet, call before you go) I'll do a book signing and talk at Visible Voice Books in Cleveland, Ohio’s Tremont neighborhood. I think we're showing my movie Cleveland's Screaming! afterwards.

On May 17th and 18th I'll lead a 2-day retreat at the Milwaukee Zen Center.

I'll be one of the teachers at this year's Great Sky Zen Sesshin August 9-16. Check out their webpage for details.

The annual Dogen Sangha retreat in Shizuoka, Japan will be September 20-23.

*No offense intended to those who choose to cross dress or change sexes. I just honestly don't know the appropriate term of address.

I'm officially 24 today yet I shall still insist on writing birthday as bdae!!!

I remember starting to blog sometime around my 19th birthday, so I've been fucking blogging for 5 years man!!

I'm a lao blogger!

Kelvin and Qingqing chose to fly over to Europe yesterday, but not before treating me (and the lucky sods who happen to be around) to dinner first!!

Then Benny treated for drinks afterwards (and the same lucky sods who happen to be around).

Eekean came over all the way to Loyang, on the pretense of wishing me a happy birthday, but in fact stole a whole lot of my dvds and gave me a packet of dubious Indian snacks in exchange. It tastes like Little India on a Sunday.

Actually she wanted to treat me to a Japanese buffet for lunch but I couldn't wake up in time!!

Serious progress with Ek's mom though!! I always thought she didn't really like me coz I was a chao ah lian in school last time (during sec school days la, when Ek was my impressionable classmate), but she bought me mangoes and two packets of nasi lemak!!

She must have somehow known I was kind enough to buy her daughter a 70% of a Nintendo DS lite on her last birthday (the generousity was to make up for 11 years of knowing Ek and never giving her any presents)!!

Mike's mom remembered my bdae too!!

My Momo, whom I was feeling a tad jealous and resentful towards because she bought my cousin a birthday cake (and did not buy any for me for the last n years - her excuse is that I never want to spend my birthday with her), msn-ed me to say she also ordered a cake for me!! I hope this is true.

Mike is bringing me out for expensive dinner tomorrow!

I put "It's my bdae but nobody cares" on my msn nick at around 1am (a tad anxious, but it was for my mother's benefit), so a few people also grudgingly messaged me to tell me happy birthday.

Even my eBay seller, whom I bought the Juicy Couture sidekick from, finally responded to my email and said he is shipping out the phone today!!!


This baby takes USD $70 to unlock, but hey, all a price to pay for a phone that definitely nobody in Singapore has...

Mike sponsored the $500 phone and additionally blurted out he bought me a rainbow maker!!




Right now I'm going into the living room to watch GTO on dvd, and maybe cook some instant noodles. MAN! I CRAVE FOR MAGGI GORENG!!!

Yes! GTO!!

THAT FUCKING AWESOME JAP SCHOOL TEACHER SHOW FROM A MILLION YEARS AGO!! I randomly found it in some JB dvd shop!!

Awesomeness. This day is awesome.

Random note 1: Juicy Couture is opening in Singapore soonish. About time too! I'll source out the PR company, and try to get them to sponsor me stuff!! Honestly man, Juicy! You can't get a bigger fan than me!! If you search "Juicy Couture Singapore" on google, my link actually pops up 4th. How mad is that?

Random note 2: Combination of Cellnique (who also sponsored me a shitload of products recently!!), Kawaii Tokyo and Cherlyn's facial is making my skin GLOW!! I have freaking pink cheeks naturally can!!

Random note 3: USD keeps dropping and SGD keeps shooting up like an obscene penis!! I greedily and impatiently await the day when USD and SGD goes dollar to dollar, then I'll have a wild time at Forever21.com and victoriassecret.com. WHOOPIE!!

I seem to be spending a lot of my time retreating lately. In March I lead a retreat in Atlanta, tonight I'll be starting one in South Carolina, a couple weeks after that I'll be leading one in Milwaukee, then it looks like we'll have one in Southern California on Memorial Day (still waiting for confirmation), after that there's the Great Sky Sesshin in August and another sesshin in Japan in September (info for all the upcoming retreats is below). Along with this I did two weeks work practice in Tassajara Zen Monastery in early April and I'll be going back for another two weeks in June. All in all, a whole lot of my year 2008 will be spent retreating.

A few years ago I wrote an article for my webpage called "Retreat!! (Run Away!!)" I just went searching for it and it appears to have been lost in the Internet ether, wherever those things go. I don't seem to have another copy saved. No big deal. It probably sucked ass anyhow.

But I remember that the year I wrote that article my friend Miki couldn't attend the retreat because she was going to the Fuji Rock festival (not that she ever attended any of the retreats anyway, but nevertheless). I was trying to explain why a Zen retreat was different, perhaps (dare I say it???) better than a rock festival — at least if your intention is to find a way to enjoy life more and a way to make the world a nicer place.

Last week I put an article up on Suicide Girls in which I talked about how I felt that retreat centers were a good place to learn how not to waste your life. The article was met by the now tiresomely typical outcry from readers who thought I was the most egotistical asshole in the world to even suggest that a time spent away from society in quiet might be better than frittering away your days looking at titties on the Internet. But titties on the Internet pay my bills, so I can't complain too much. So it goes.

I have found, though, that I have a somewhat different attitude towards retreats and suchlike from a lot of folks in the Buddhist community who I meet at the retreats I attend and run. I think retreats are a great thing. Great. Wonderful. This is why I go on so many of the damned things. However, the real meat and potatoes of Zazen practice does not happen at retreats. The most important Zazen is the Zazen you do every day at home during the course of your real life in the real world.

I've been highly disappointed to discover that this attitude does not seem to be at all commonplace among the kinds of people who like to attend Zen retreats. Much more common is the attitude that one can get all one's Zazen out of the way in a few intensive days (or weeks or months) and then just basically let things slide the rest of the time. I'm really shocked to find that a lot of people who you see at Zen retreats don't have any daily practice at all. I just can't comprehend that. I did daily practice for over ten years before I went on my first retreat. Which is not to say how phenomenal I am. I just mean I wouldn't have considered going on a retreat except as an extension of my already established daily practice.

The other thing I find is that most retreats I attend are a bit too intense. I still do them. I don't think they're necessarily bad. But I do think they sometimes go overboard with practice. See, what happens when you concentrate a whole lot of Zazen into a few days (or weeks or months) is that you can end up feeling very high (insert Towely voice here). You have what appear to be very deep insights into life, the universe and everything and you walk out thinking you're some kind of spiritual superhero.

The problem with such insights is that they fade very quickly in the light of day, like a wonderful dream that you can't quite remember. The more Zazen you try to pack into the smaller number of days the more likely this is to occur. Or, what's worse, is when the ego latches onto that initial "spiritual superhero" feeling and you remain convinced you're God's gift to meditation long after whatever insights you had during your practice intensive have crumbled into dust or been fixed into sharply etched memories that you return to again and again and again. Guys who can manage this often end up making lots of money as spiritual masters. But what they do and say is just a waste of time.

This is why the retreats I lead, the ones where I can set the schedule at least, follow Gudo Nishijima's method of being intentionally quite a bit less intense than what seems to be the norm for Zen retreats. The insights to be had from such a practice are often not quite as deep seeming as those to be had from a very intense schedule. But they last a lot longer and mean a lot more when you re-enter the "normal" world. This, I think, is far more important. Plus, ultimately, these types of low intensity retreats allow you, over time, to actually go deeper into your practice and stay there.

Anyhow, these are just some random thoughts as I get ready for yet another retreat. See ya when I come back!

Here's the upcoming schedule:

April 25 - 27 leading a retreat at Southern Dharma Retreat Center in North Carolina.

April 29th at 7 PM, talk at Warren Wilson College’s Buddhist Studies Group. Also in Asheville, NC.

May 3rd my band 0DFx will play at Pat’s in the Flats in Cleveland with This Moment in Black History and on May 4th, 0DFx will play at the Kent Stage in Kent, Ohio in commemoration of the 38th anniversary of the infamous shootings by the National Guard

Saturday May 10th at 7 PM (or maybe 6, they need to decide yet, call before you go) at Visible Voice Books in Cleveland, Ohio’s Tremont neighborhood. NOTE CHANGE OF DATE!

On May 17th and 18th a 2-day retreat at the Milwaukee Zen Center.

I'll be one of the teachers at this year's Great Sky Zen Sesshin August 9-16. Check out their webpage for details.

The annual Dogen Sangha retreat in Shizuoka, Japan will be September 20-23.

Advertorial

Women supposedly start to age at 25 (and some more kiasu people say, 24).

It's disgusting! Suddenly, all around me, people my age are beginning to use words like "skincare" and "anti-aging", not to mention start discussing brands as well as ways and means to keep on looking 24 for as long as possible!!

Before this year, all I ever did for my skin was to wash it with Biore Men's facial cleanser (something I've been using since my teens, which I started because a number of ex-boyfriends used it and I liked the smell) and maybe occasionally slap some Cellnique on.

However, as wrinkles start to appear and pimple scars don't go away that fast anymore, I realised that's not really enough. Isn't it scary?

Besides, all my girlfriends are starting to do all sort of assorted things to their skin before they sleep: Cleanse, exfoliate, tone, serum, moisturize... wake up moisturise as well as put sunscreen... Go for facials... Squeeze blackheads... ETC!!!

IT'S LIKE IF YOU DON'T DO IT YOU WILL LOSE OUT TO ALL THESE GIRLS LOR!!

BUT!!! The problem is, there are SO MANY BRANDS ALL AROUND! Some people swear by certain brands, but it is near impossible to try everything and find the right stuff for you, isn't it?

Luckily for me, I get sponsored stuff!! :D

Now, you're possibly angrily shouting now, "How is that relevant to me?! You stupid hao lian bitch...!"

It is relevant because I try stuff out for you and tell if you it's good what!! HMPF!

So anyway, the brand in the spotlight today is called Kawaii Tokyo, a line of facial products all the way from Tokyo, Japan!

Personally, I have more faith in products that are made in Asian countries as I feel that they are more suited for Asian skin types.

I was very happy when I saw the packaging for Kawaii's products because the theme they are using seems to be all Princessy!! Their mascot, a girl called Ms Moe Kawai, has flying hair, long eyelashes and wears a tiara! My type of girl :D


These are the products they sent to me:




The whole Kawaii range seems to have a common theme, which is something they call "Brighten-up".

Brightening is also sometimes called whitening, although, from what I know, whitening is a misconception. Products which claim to whiten actually get rid of dead skin etc and bring out a glow in our skin, making it brighter, healthier, and less dull!

It's very important to have "bright" skin, otherwise you'll just walk around looking like a corpse.

Every other female in the world seem to want to have fairer skin though, except for me, coz I like to look tan! Not the dull sort of tan --- like glowy Victoria's Secret models sort of tan!

I wonder if the "whitening" elements of Kawaii worked on me though, coz I noticed that although I got equally tan on the face and body in Langkawi, my face is now like much fairer than my body. -_- Maybe you can give their products a try if you want to get fair.


Prior to writing this, I already saw some magazines (Female, I think) review Kawaii's products, and it seems like the star product is Kawaii's sunscreen.

However, as I don't really go out in the day often (except when I go tanning), I can't say I have really experienced the effectiveness of their sunscreen... More about the sunscreen later.

The product I really like is the Brighten-up Wash Champagne Holiday!!


I am going to cam-whore with my favourite facial wash for a bit. By a bit, I mean... A lot.


(Just cut my fringe coz I got bored of my hair)


Kawaii's facial wash comes in Champagne Holiday as well as Nature Break.

I like Champagne Holiday more coz it smells (to me la...) like roses (which I am very partial to) and it leaves a very nice lingering scent even after washing off! I have a xiang face!

Nature break is nice too! I'm having difficulty describing a smell but it just gives a very refreshing feeling while washing, and brings to mind... woods and cleanliness? Like you can almost feel birds chirruping around you as you wash your face. Hahaha!



The texture of the thick creamy wash has a pearly tint to it, and it's very rich and foamy so using just a small amount is enough!

After washing, my face doesn't feel overtly dry, and seems to become softer to the touch.


AND I WASH!!!



I know la! I'm supposed to use make-up remover on my make-up first, but this is purely for photography purposes!


Their other products:




Wrinkles around the eyes!!! So have to put eye cream before going to bed.

It also reduces puffy eyes as well as dark eye rings.

Kawaii's eye creams come in Daily Defense as well as Overnight Repair.

Daily Defence is specially for reducing photoaged wrinkles in the eye area, and Overnight Repair is for reducing puffy eyebags... like I get after overnight mahjong!

The eye creams are non-sticky, smooth, and contains whitening elements too. I like that it's non-sticky, which I generally find rare in eye creams. How the hell can you sleep with sticky stuff on your face?!


As any vain enough girl can tell you, harmful UV rays are the main culprit that causes aging to happen. As such, UV protection is very important!


This contains:

• Brightening: Vitamin C derivatives
• Natural Moisturizing Factor: Wild Thyme extract
• Anti-aging: Star fruit, Bilberry, Shell Ginger extracts
• Astringent: Prune extract
• Anti-inflammation: Licorice extract

Daytime Rescue is more for daily usage, but if you are going swimming or doing any outdoor sports that lets you face the strong sun for a long time, the Sun Survivor should be a better choice.



This contains:

• Brightening: Vitamin C Derivatives, Alpha Arbutin
• Anti-aging: Vitamin A, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3
• Natural Moisturising Factor: Olive Squalane, Hyaluronic Acid
• Astringent: Witch Hazel Extract
• Anti-inflammation: Platinum Nano-Colloid, Licorice Extract

I like Citrus Paradise coz it smells (not too strongly) like mandarin oranges. :D

What is this? Believe it or not, it's like a magic gel that combines toner, moisturiser, firming essense, brightening essense, as well as make-up base!

Before you diss off products that are 5-in-1, I'd have to say that this actually works pretty well! It kept my face from being dry and my complexion dewy (I was given the products to try for 3 weeks) and I noticed that my face got less oily too!

This contains:

• Vitamin C Deriatives + Vitamin E
• Hyaluronic Acid (moisturizing component to invigorate collagen activity)
• Marine Collagen (for dewiness and resilience)
• Olive Squalane (channels oxygen to skin)

It is also alcohol and animal-based ingredient free!


After being spread out, the gel feels very pleasantly cold on my skin. It also sort of seeps into the skin pretty fast too, so that after a while, the effect is that the gel is not sticky and very smooth!

It's also not oily and feels watery.




Interested?? Wanna give it a try? Maybe you can get Kawaii products for free! Click here to go get Kawaii's special promotion for my readers, and you are one easy step away from a chance to win a Kawaii product!!

For more information, please check out Kawaii's website here. :)


p/s: Yes I have strawberry nails! Not watermelon! And I painted it myself!! :D

p/p/s: I do have very hairy arms! I don't think it's ugly and I cannot be bothered about those stupid hairs, so stop the multitude of similar comments about my arm hairs!

My financial advisor Derek (who was on Elimidate) and his fiance Melanie (who works for the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders) took Joe, Marcia, Kevin and me to Al Tiramisu for my birthday. It was one of the better meals I have had in DC for quite some time. The Chef, Luigi, created the 10-course menu with wine pairings and came out to explain each course and the wine.

This was our waiter who has worked there for 12 years. He had a great sense of humor and was quite good at keeping the wine coming. He is sitting between Joe and Derek.

When Chef Luigi brought out the 7th course, veal osso bucco, he gave a plate to Marcia, who does not eat red meat, and said, "You can eat this one, it is white meat." After the veal, we were stuffed and getting a bit drunk, so we skipped the final two courses and asked for dessert. Every single morsel of food that I ate was spectacular. It was a lot of fun and you can bet I will be going back again soon.

Sorry for the disappearance!

Not been very inspired to blog lately, and I feel exhausted coz I just finished another long advertorial... I hope the company will approve it soon so you guys can see it!

Anyway, new episodes on Clicknetwork are up!!






Something to piss Mac fans off more. I do not endorse the message at the end! It was added in against my will. Hmpf!




Ever wondered how it's like inside a sex shop? Maybe you can take a practice visit with me first before going inside...







Paul and Kaykay guess embarrassing facts about strangers. See who gets more right!





Did some of you see me on Channel U's news?


Anyway, if you wanna watch the little snippet, the article's here - and see the obscure little red box sitting beside the title? You can click on that to watch the video.

Can anyone who can somehow save the video please send it to me?? Thanks a million!!!!!!

In April last year, London design outfit FHD proudly announced it would be rebranding the UK's Office of Government Commerce (OGC) - the HM Treasury tentacle "responsible for improving value for money by driving up standards and capability in procurement".

The final logo seen below, already had been inscribed onto mousemats and pens in anticipation of its imminent deployment, but it took OGC staff around 20 seconds to realize why this particular logo was going to end in tears (of laughter):

See the trailer for the movie I always wanted to make...

(Seriously, I wrote a proposal for a film like this that was rejected by Tsuburaya Productions way back in 1995. Glad to see somebody did it. I wish I could see it!)

When I was young, maybe third and fourth grade, I took a job cleaning the beauty salon in Wakarusa every Saturday afternoon. I had to wash all of the towels that were used during the week and sweep, mop, dust, the salon. This is the laundromat that I spend every Saturday afternoon for a few years. It looks exactly the same.

This is the Wakarusa Missionary Church that I attended from birth until my freshman year in high school when I walked out of service, never to return. The pastor at the time asked the church to pray for me during one of the services because I was in my high school production of the musical, "Applause." Now granted, the show is based on the Bette Davis classic film, "All About Eve" and involved a starlet sleeping her way to the top. But, I did not understand that, until my pastor made such a big deal about it. Anyway, members of my church insisted that they have the opportunity to come watch a rehearsal of the play and make changes, or they would protest. A group of 6 people came and we were forced to cut some words, and change others (which some of us added back in on the night of the show). That was it for me, no more church after that.

This is not really "my" landmark, but it is not often that you see a somewhat attractive Amish boy. Often times because of the close DNA ties of the Amish, they usually end up looking a bit funky.

This clock used to hang in the Wakarusa Middle School gym. When I saw it hanging in the Wakarusa Historical Society, I wanted to buy it for my house. Tom asked me if I wanted him to create a distraction so I could take it, but I just could not do that to my Aunt Helen.

Finally, I am not sure why they are making such a big deal about the new Florida license plates, because Indiana already has them beat with these special plates.

Haw! Zero Defex was "along with NEGATIVE APPROACH, the most outstanding early-80s Hardcore-band from Midwest-USA!" Yeah, that's right all you, "oh he just writes about his shitty band from a million years ago" weasels! Suck it up!

If anyone knows where the royalties from this release are going, please write me. Cuz none of us knew it was even being made until we stumbled on this link...

People always bitch when I put up lists of upcoming gigs here. But when you tell me a better way to announce this stuff I'll do it.

Anyway, I just spent all morning writing a new column for Suicide Girls that's up now. I'm too tired to write anything else. Here are the gigs:

April 25 - 27 leading a retreat at Southern Dharma Retreat Center in North Carolina.

April 29th at 7 PM, talk at Warren Wilson College’s Buddhist Studies Group. Also in Asheville, NC.

May 3rd my band 0DFx will play at Pat’s in the Flats in Cleveland with This Moment in Black History and on May 4th, 0DFx will play at the Kent Stage in Kent, Ohio in commemoration of the 38th anniversary of the infamous shootings by the National Guard

Friday May 10th at 7 PM (or maybe 6, they need to decide yet, call before you go) at Visible Voice Books in Cleveland, Ohio’s Tremont neighborhood.

On May 17th and 18th a 2-day retreat at the Milwaukee Zen Center.

I'll be one of the teachers at this year's Great Sky Zen Sesshin August 9-16. Check out their webpage for details.

The annual Dogen Sangha retreat in Shizuoka, Japan will be September 20-23.

After sleeping in until 12:30 pm, we checked out of the hotel, and drove to the Bloomington town square. The county courthouse is made with limestone, like almost every other building in Bloomington. In college, we used to drive out to the limestone quarries and go swimming, like in the movie "Breaking Away." That was until we heard that Westinghouse Electric had dumped the highly toxic chemical PCB in the quarries in the 60s and 70s before it was banned by the federal government. I blame my hair loss on the PCBs.

We ate brunch at one of my favorite restaurants in Bloomington, the Uptown Cafe. It is designed like an old school jazz club with tin ceilings. You can tell by this picture that we were not quite awake from our night out.

After brunch, we drove to our final destination, Indianapolis. We checked into the Westin Hotel, where Ralph decided to take a little nap because he was not feeling well. The rest of us left the hotel and walked around Indy.

We paid the $1 to ride the elevator to the top of the Soldier's and Sailor's Monument in the center of Indianapolis. The observation deck was small and stuffy, so Tom could not wait to get back down.

We walked by some of the other parks and monuments in Indy, before deciding to head down to Massachusetts Avenue where Metro Bar is located.

Metro is one of the most popular bars in town, and is your typical old school gay bar, with a dark wood bar downstairs, an outdoor patio, and a large dance floor with pool tables upstairs.

Every drink seemed to be on special, so we had long island ice teas, bloody mary's, beer, and redbull and vodka while playing our favorite trivia game. We play this game in every bar and if we place in the top ten, we always type in DCBOYZZZZZZ. So if you ever see that name on of these trivia machines, you will know that either Ralph, Mike, Tom, Marcia or I have been there.

After Metro we went to dinner at English Ivy's, a gay bar and restaurant. In the bar area they were watching "Desperate Housewives" and hooting and hollering like it was the best thing on television. After dinner, Marcia decided to call it a night and the boys went on to Talbott Street for the drag show. I could not believe that some of same drag performers were there 15 years ago. We all had crushes on the doorman and the bartender and a few of the guys that were there. The place started to clear out around 12:00am, so we decided to head back to the hotel to wrap up my birthday trip. It was a lot of fun and I am glad that some of my friend's got to experience my life before moving to DC. They were all very good sports.