NPR LINK


The NPR (National Public Radio) thing is here for anyone who wants to listen. As usual when there's a story about Noah Levine and me, they used a picture of Noah. He's more everyone's image of punk rock, I guess (not a "garage band poser from the suburbs" like me ~ you guys are too funny, I like Noah!*). Well, at least they didn't put my name under his photo like someone did a while back. And if Noah put the title of one of his books on one side of his neck and the other on the other side of his neck, what's he gonna do if he writes a third book?

Maybe we shouldn't ask...

I'm bored stiff with the topic of Big Mind™. But there's a guy in the comments section who can't understand the difference between Nishijima Sensei's acceptance of patronage from the Ida Cosmetics company, for whom he also worked as an adviser and financial consultant, and Genpo asking for $50,000 to spend five days at a luxury resort with rich people and give them Enlightenment. Nishijima never promised Mr. Ida he'd get any sort of special experiences or merit for his contributions. If you don't think Genpo is saying the folks who pay him $50,000 are going to get something that people who pay less can't get, you'd better read his pitch again.

Meeting with a real Zen teacher for personal instruction is indeed a rare opportunity. But it can't be bought or sold. Never. When the emperor of China asked Bodhidharma what merit could be got by studying with him, Bodhidharma said, "None at all." The emperor was most certainly asking this to see if he wanted to become Bodhidharma's sugar daddy and give him some cash and a temple and stuff. Had the emperor wanted to study with Bodhidharma anyway in spite of the lack of merit to be gained, I'm sure Bodhidharma would have accepted him as a student. Honesty is the key. Patronage can be accepted when the relationship between teacher and patron is an honest one.

And FYI, ain't nobody offering me $50,000 for a few days in a hotel with them. But if they did I'd send him packing. Homey don't play that. I don't like hotels anyway and it sounds seriously creepy. "Free money" is never free. If, on the other hand, New World Library offered me a $50,000 advance for my next book (Ha! I wish~!) I'd take it in a heartbeat. I prefer to work for the money I get. You always do anyway, even when the money is "free." And when I do real work, I will take as much money as the work is worth. I have no qualms about that at all. Sorry.

As for people traveling long distances to study with me, I always discourage it. A number of people have asked about this and I always say the same thing. There is no reason anyone should spend a lot of money and effort to study with me. I will only disappoint you.

These questions are trivial. The thing that really bugs me is when people (Genpo's people, I assume) start throwing that whole "The precepts say you can't criticize other Buddhists!" stuff around. There is a very dangerous notion growing among Buddhists in the West that if anyone calls himself a "Buddhist" or calls what he's doing "Buddhism," we as Buddhists must not call him on it no matter what it is for fear (and fear is the operative word) we will be breaking the precepts. This is why there is no outcry from American Buddhists against some of the flagrant abuses already present. As Buddhism continues to grow in popularity, the number of people who see it as an easy way to get rich will increase. We cannot be shy about pointing out when transparent scams masquerade as Buddhism. If Buddhists don't speak out, who will? If hucksters know they can get away with anything because Buddhists are afraid to say anything about it there won't be any real Buddhism left before long.

This is a serious matter.

Whether people like what I say or how I present myself or not doesn't matter a whole lot to me. I feel duty bound to say what needs saying in the best way I can.


*Hey! I just found out that Zero Defex's songs "Drop The A-Bomb On Me" and "Better Way" (aka I Bleed USA) (no YouTube link, but go to Nader's official page & it's there)are being used in official commercials by the Ralph Nader campaign! Gosh.

ADDENDUM

I just saw this in the comments section and I thought it was an interesting observation. Having had some very minor interactions with community the commenter's speaking about, I think this is a very good point. I had considered writing something like this myself, and on the subject of "lifestyle players," which exist in both the BDSM and spiritual communities. I should say, though, I have some deep misgivings about what little I've seen in the consensual BDSM community. I do see some therapeutic usefulness in it. But this may be canceled out by the actual trauma involved. Anyway, I'm no expert & that's about the extent of what I can say on the matter. (I wonder if this is Nina Hartley's post...)

Brad, here is my hunch.

Folks are paying mega bucks to folks like Genpo not just for the verbal teachings.

My hunch, and it is strictly my own opinion, is that a lot of people think they are into being spiritual, but covertly are thrilling to power and to power imbalance.

If they were conscious about this, they'd explore these issues via psychotherapy, or via consensual adult BDSM.

I do not practice BDSM but I am more and more convinced these days that the adult kink community does a far better job than the spiritual seeker's scene, because the kink practitioners are thinking consciously about power, thinking clearly about what they desire, and have learned to communicate, beforehand, what they all want, what the boundaries are.

More than once, Ive been told that there are lots of people who want to be dominated and paddled, but very few who are willing to function as 'tops'--that is, as the dominants who administer the pain.

Why, in the kink scene, are there so few tops, and so many bottoms?

Because in the kink scene, POWER COMES WITH ACCOUNTABILITY. The top has to answer to an ethos of care and pay attention to whether the bottom is signaling for the session to stop. And the top is the one who is answerable if something goes wrong.

But in the spiritual scene, there is no shortage of wanna be gurus/tops. There are lots of bottoms in the spiritual scene, but also plenty of gurus, eager to accept the power offered to them by the bottoms.

Why?

Because IMO, in the spiritual scene, its a set up where the guru/top enjoys total power and zero accountability.

If anything goes wrong, in the spiritual kink scene, all the blame is foisted onto the bottom.

And in the spiritual kink scene, people are going around being unconscious. They're obsessed with power, but unconscious of it, and determined to stay unconscious of it, and there is no way to talk consciously about power, about what one desires, and no safe words a bottom can use to signal that he or she is being traumatized instead of challenged and wants to scene to stop.

In fact, in the spiritual kink scene, you have no way to know if you are walking into someone's BDSM dungeon or not.

At least in BDSM the dungeon is clearly designated as such.

Result is, in the world of BDSM kink, people examine and name their desires and set it up so everyone, the top and bottom, exits the scene feeling satisfied.

Which is more than can be said for many sectors of the so called spiritual scene. I suspect many don't feel they are spiritual unless they are thrilling to a power imbalance.

Brad once wrote how someone at his old Japanese company said that their cartoon stories taught children to worship power--that some benevolent being could come to the rescue, every time.

Some worship Ultraman, or the Science Team.

Others worship Genpo Roshi.

And never examine the deep structure of all this.

And if you pay 50,000 USD, you have an incentive NOT to want to examine this, because its too painful to face that you paid 50 grand to fulfill a child's fantasy of rescue.
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Racist Jewish Grandparents

Sarah Silverman, who I love, made a video to plead with Jewish grandchildren across America to go to Florida to convince their racist Jewish Grandparents to vote Obama. I think she makes some good points.
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Health and Hovid

Advertorial

I've been sent a bottle of "Anti-oxidants" by Hovid, the leading pharmaceutical manufacturers in Malaysia.




Quite frankly, throughout my life I've never taken health supplements before! When I was a kid maybe I did chew on those orangey robots vitamins, but that was it.

Mike, however, is always popping vitamin pills.

While I look at him, politely puzzled, he always just says "our bodies don't get enough vitamins".

I guess what he says has some truth in it, coz with all the junk we are eating nowadays, I think it is highly unlikely I am hitting my vitamins quota, and neither are you (if you are not some health nut).

Therefore, health supplements!!




This little bottle that they sent me says "Maxi Bio Absorption" and claims to have this thing called "Coenzyme Q10" in it. What? I don't understand what that is!

Fortunately trusty wikipedia is always around for things that matter (ahem therefore I'm on it, ahahaha!), and I was quite shocked to see how awesome this Q10 thing is!

Skipping the boring parts, in short, it helps:


Mitochondrial Disorders - Dunno what it is but I hope I don't get it.

Migraine headaches

Cancer - as a relief for cancer treatment side-effects and being investigated as a treatment.

Brain health

Cardiac arrest

Blood pressure

And even increased the lifespan of rats who take it!



It's like a miracle thing leh!!


But actually, this Q10 occurs naturally in our bodies (as well as in other things such as chicken leg/pork heart), just that most of the time we don't produce enough, or do not absorb enough of it.


This is where Q10 Supra-Bio comes in. It's absorption formula makes it easy for our bodies to absorb loads and loads of Q10!!


Wait, I hear something...




The pills want out!




These little yellow pills are chockful of Q10 goodness...




I'm gonna eat them!



Ahem.


Today I am going to teach you how to take your vitamins!!






Pose with your pills. No reason. Just do it.




Open bottle. Smell it a bit. Is it moldy?
Check expiry date. 1989? No? 2011? Ok good.




Pick your favourite pill of the lot!




Pop it into mouth! Don't bite, swallow!




Water to flush it down. Plus water is good for you!!




Task finished!




Show love or it won't work for you.

True story.




OK la, those were just lame excuses to cam-whore.



But seriously though... I watched Money No Enough 2 (very sad show leh...), and those of you who have seen it are probably also reminded of the importance of health.

Taking care of one's body is really crucial and people should not take a back seat and take good health for granted.


It is true! If you can't be bothered to exercise, then health supplements should be taken - after all, they are so easy... No effort needed whatsoever.

(Unless of course you are in some desert and water is very scarce so you can't swallow your pills.... But then again people in deserts probably don't take health supplements.)


So, where do you go to if you want to buy some vitamins?



It is no secret I am a big fan of online shopping, and I can't believe now you can even buy health products online!

The steps are really easy - choose your product, register, pay, and if you are in Singapore, you will get your products within one day!

Now that's what I call awesome shipping!

If you have any enquiries, the best thing is, there is a live desk of Hovid staff who are more than willing to answer your questions immediately!

No more need more long emails and waiting for replies (only to realise the person misunderstood your question. Always happens to me).


Hovid's website is exceedingly easy to navigate, and their products range from Teas to Women's Nutrition to Cardiovascular... Got a lot la!


Of course, you have to be very careful and stringent when purchasing consumable items.

Who can forget the Slim10 incidents?!

Therefore, only purchase from the most trustworthy companies!


Hovid Berhad is a listed company based in Ipoh, Perak, and has been around since 1945. It first started when Dr. Ho Kai Cheong founded Ho Yan Hor tea.

Familiar?


It's this one!






My dad and mom love it.


The company has since then grown into one of the leading pharmaceutical manufacturers in the world with over 300 products and distributing to over 40 countries.

I've personally had the pills and I am feeling fit as a fiddle!!

So get your much-needed vitamins today, you couch potato!

If not, get it for your elderly parents/grandparents, you unfilial person!


Click here to buy!


(Also I suspect it is cheaper to buy directly from the production company...)


POSTNOTE:
Since so many of you have asked me, my lip gloss is from Chanel and its colour 106. It should cost either $40 or $30, I forgot!

NPR

It's raining here in Tokyo. In about 2 hours I have another meeting with the folks I work for.

I'll be on an NPR radio show called "Day To Day" that's supposed to air on Monday. I'm told it's on in LA from 9-11am on KPCC 89.3fm (though I don't know where in the show it will be.) That is always subject to change, depending on the day's news. You can go to www.npr.org to find out where it'll be on in your area.
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Siao one

Short post before I go sleep.

I ordered Mcdelivery.

Suddenly I received 5 smses!



Yes, I got it, you "be reching soon".

Before I even have time to read all the (grammatically incorrect) messages on my frazzled phone, he called me and announced that he is at the door.

When Mike finally got the to door, he (Mike) told me that the delivery was giving him this du lan face.

Like hello? You rushing go where sia??? Deliver more shit?

And isn't it dangerous to be sending out smses on a motorbike?

AND AND........ WHY MUST I STANDBY AT MY DOOR FOR YOU AH??? I take as long as I want to answer the doorbell, goddamn it!

Actually I am not angry lah... I'm just quite amused. Why 5 smses?

Maybe within Macs also got F1 race, then the delivery guys were all competing to see who can deliver the most McNuggets within 61 trips?
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Clusterf&*k to the Poor House

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Sarah America?

It was only a matter of time before Sarah Palin had her likeness turned into a corn maze in Whitehouse, Ohio.
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BIG FART™ CIRCLE

Jesus God Almighty help us all. Someone in the comments section posted a link to Genpo Roshi's Big Heart Circle page. Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse in the world of Buddhism in America along comes a "life changing seminar" with one of the "great awakened masters of our time" for just $50,000! No joke, friends. It'll cost you fifty thousand smackers to sit and sniff the big farts™ of Mr. Genpo in a luxury hotel. This is far beyond the most appalling crap I've ever seen in the name of the Dharma. It really has sunk to a new depth of slime and awfulness. I've canceled my appearance at the Young Buddhists Retreat in Massachusetts (whenever they reschedule it) due to their association with Genpo (which I didn't know about when I said yes to it in the first place, I will do better research in the future).

Someone else sent me this link to a page Sock Monkey put up while I've been away in Japan. I'm going to need to have a long talk with him when I get back to California. Not that I'd recommend either of these seminars, but I think you'd get more out of five days with Sock Monkey than five days with Genpo. I'm serious.

What's even sadder about this is that Genpo didn't invent this kind of scam. Pricey fake enlightenment seminars like this are common practice these days. There must be a thousand of them running any day of the week. There is a whole lot of money to be made in this business. As Joshu Sasaki said way back in 1974 when this stuff was only just getting started, "If you have money to give those guys, give it to me instead!"

And don't think I haven't thought about this myself. Cuz I have. When I lost my regular job, the wheels started rolling in my head about what I could do to make ends meet. My rep as a teacher is such that I could probably make some good green charging the clueless big bucks for a chance at a personal "life changing" meeting with the great and wonderful your's truly. Has Genpo been on CNN? I bet I could get even more suckers than him if I really worked it.

In fact about two or three years ago I was offered a chance to lead a luxury cruise ship retreat to South America. I looked into it and I couldn't stomach the thought. Later on I told this story to a friend who knows this scene very well. The organizers had never talked dollars and cents (or sense) to me. But they did say I'd be paid. My friend said they were probably going to offer in the neighborhood of $10,000. Can you imagine? I coulda made ten thousand samolians to spend a week on a cruise ship! Me! Holy crap! Literally...

All this comes up for me the day after I started negotiating a new contract with the company I've been working for. Here I am about to commit to hard labor in the film business when I could earn three times as much hanging out at luxury hotels hobnobbing with the rich and foolish. What the hell am I thinking?

Now please understand. I'm not trying to tell you what a saint I am. Far from it. It's just that I cannot even picture myself charging money for people to be in my presence. Can you? What kind of arrogance is that? Do people really think they can learn how to dismantle their ego by hanging around with someone whose view of himself is so over inflated he thinks it's reasonable to charge thousands of dollars just to hang out with him? Do these people have the ability to think at all? I just don't get it and I hope I never do.

But I see how it works. Now that I'm getting more well-known I see the way some people's eyes light up when I walk into a room. They get way too excited and it scares me. I don't know who they're seeing when they look in my general direction. But it's not real, and I have to work hard sometimes to convince them of that. The "Enlightened Being" they create in their minds seems to be a much more real thing than the actual human being they're projecting that image upon. I know because I've made that same projection myself more times than I'd like to admit. All guys like Genpo do is milk that stuff for whatever it's worth. That is the very opposite of Buddhism. It's sickening.

The Enlightened Beings Club I mentioned in my latest Suicide Girls piece operates in such a way as to enhance each of its members ability to scam the gullible out of their spare change by constantly beefing up each other's reputations. It works just like celebrity-hood in Hollywood. This stuff is so transparent I don't even know why it takes a dork like me to point it out. But I guess that's my lot in life.

Anyhow, that's my rant for the day. Now I'm gonna go out and scout for cool monster books and toys. Just think of how many more I could buy if I held a couple seminars...

It's tempting, it's tempting...
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Gay Face

Definition: Gay face includes tightness around the mouth from pursing the lips, and a general “tightness” and muscular activation through out the entire face. Gay face includes an eye expression that is both surprised looking and predatory. Eyebrows are usually arched higher than that of straight men, and eyebrow hair is manicured. There is often a slightly tan and/or leathery look to the skin, especially among older gay men.
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The bestest blog entry

With regards to my latest Plasticzilla entry, I've basically received these (bad) remarks:


1) Xiaxue you are just jealous. Because even without plastic, Dawn looks better than you.


Ans:

You are 100% right. Ok la maybe 80%, because I am not actually jealous. The point is, so? At least, I can safely say I never tried as hard as she did. :)


2) Omg you are so mean! How would you like it if someone also dug up your old ugly photos and posted them?

Ans:

Honestly, I don't care.


I don't!

You think to yourself, what the fuck man, you are just saying this because nobody has exposed your ugly photos.


In order to prove how much I don't give a shit about what you people (and that includes 30,000 of you) think of my looks, I am hereby going to show you an array of my ugliest IC photos - with a timeline from 13 years old to 23 years old.


If I don't care about what people think of my looks, why do I photoshop? Because 1) it is an art that I enjoy doing and 2) it makes ME happy to see prettier photos.

What is appearance? What is image? I cannot be arsed as long as people I love love me... shortness, squatness, lumpiness and all. As for looks, as long as the man I love is attracted to me, that's all that's enough. :) Plus,I am satisfied with the way I look! Not 100% mind you, but it's good enough.


However, just posting goddamn ugly photos does not constitute a bestest blog entry - just a mildly entertaining one.

Therefore, I am additionally going to PHOTOSHOP these horrendous photos into fake but gorgeous versions of me!! MUAHAHAHAHA


Prepare... TO BE IMPRESSED. And horrified.




Age 2

A joke lah! This is obviously not ugly.

In fact, here I am, zhao-genging happily, and I think, relatively cute!

I don't know what happened to me during teenage years to become so goddamn ugly.

How did my mother love me???


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Age 13, Sec 1

Single eyelids, humongous nose, centre-parting and a flabby jawline.

To add insult to injury, there are also green ink splotches staining the picture.

Could you blame me for wanting a nose job with that nose? HONESTLY??


Photoshop magic:




Woah! Suddenly got chio blue eyes!


The eyelids are a bit fake-looking though, coz for this pic I actually DREW it on. Just to try and see how it will turn out.

Got tiara somemore!


Side by side:






************************************





Age 14, sec 2

Bah. My act ah-lian age.

Eyebrows shaved into a thin, straight line...

Fringe cut by myself, and one side of hair tucked behind ear. To create what look, I don't know. Maybe lop-sidedness was in?

Anyway I wore a SHIRT coz ah lians wore shirts then. :D

At this point, trying very hard to get double eyelids by sticking tape everyday.



Photoshop magic:



No more asymmetrical hair! Got ribbon somemore!

I like what I did to the lips.


Side by side:





************************************





Age 15, sec 3

Wah lau eh cannot stand it. Sibeh act chio.
Eyes really opened to the max.


Photoshop magic:




Nothing photoshop can do about the "act chio"ness.

The hair looks spastic but better than before...


Side by side:





************************************



Started to get bad case of acne...



Age 16, sec 4

Yikes.
Nothing photoshop can do to save this eyes-half-closed photo, you exclaim.
You are wrong!


Photoshop magic:




I had to liquify the eyes until I almost died.


Side by side:







************************************



Worst of the lot:


Age 16, sec 4

Greasy, sallow and pimply... I look so dirty! Reminds me of Professor Snape with the curtains of oily black hair... Eww!!

Don't blame me, blame the hormones, ok!

How come last time when I look like that still got people wanna be my friends?? Eekean!!!!!!!! *Leans close to Eekean with pulsating pimples*

Photoshop magic:



How did I do it?! I am so bloody talented!
Got healthy glow leh!!

Side by side:




Finally got out of secondary school!


Time for make-up!!


Age 17

You all saw this already.
Is it possible to save the eyes?


Photoshop magic:



Look a little startled but still much better than before!

Cloned my hair so that it doesn't look like some weird wind blew it to one side.


Side by side:





************************************




Age 18

Finally, after years of painstakingly sticking on double eyelid tape almost daily, I developed double eyelids!

I also found out about mascara and started abusing it.

ZA's foundation, however, does not seem to be able to cover my zits...

Photoshop magic:



Chio!

Side by side:





************************************



A few months later, with my hair a tad longer, I went back to the same place to take another picture.


Age 18

I fucking HATE my huge nose! Thank god it's like heaved into half now. I love you Dr Huang!!!

Somehow my eyebrows became nicer though, and I learned that you could shade your nose bridge... (although that didn't work out coz it made the nose look larger than godzilla's ass)

Also, I think I look like someone who will steal your husband. Why ah? Is it the chubbiness and slanty eyes?


Photoshop magic:



Much easier to edit with make up on. Reduced nose by 20000%.


Side by side:





************************************




Age 20

This is not an IC photo but somehow it's inside my pile of IC photos so I included it in!

Complexion cleared up and I now have long hair! Yay for long hair!


Photoshop magic:



Nothing much, just made jawline sharper and nose smaller.


Side by side:





************************************




Age 22

Still pre-nose job... Except now I have better eye make up.

What is it about IC photos that makes your nose so big??!

Photoshop magic:




Much chioer!

Side by side:





************************************





Age 23, Year 2008

Post nose job. I know it still looks kinda big, but it is already much smaller!!!

This is an unedited photo taken with my digicam for the purpose of my expiring passport!

I just so happened to have a glorious tan that day. Woohoo!


Photoshop magic:




Made nose smaller and jaw sharper as usual.


So... The question you all have been dying to ask me:

"HOW DID YOU DO IT?"

Pure talent! Hahaha... No lah... I mean, yes, I am awesome at photoshopping (people), but of course, 90% of the credit goes to the tool liquify!

I also use burn around the eyelids... dodge to create the "coloured" eyes. I change the hues and contrasts, and add lash and hair brushes...

For rouge on the cheeks I simply use the brush tool (colour pick the lips). See? I am so nice, I share!


Let's have a little contest!

Let me pick my ugliest photo...

Ahh.... this one:




Can you try to also photoshop this
and make it chio?!



Send me your work and if the response is good enough I shall post up your artwork (plus link, if you wish) on another blog entry!!

Please don't be childish and make it uglier hor. It is already so ugly, don't need your help, thanks.

Send to xiaxue@gmail.com!

Credits to the various photoshop brushes of hair, accessories and eyelashes I downloaded from deviantart.com. I am sorry I can't credit the real creator as I have so many brushes I don't know who created what!


UPDATE:

83 PHOTOSHOP ENTRIES RECEIVED!

Please stop sending in anymore as I am compiling them up. Thanks for the effort guys!! :) :)
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