sex warehouse

Are you tired? Listless? Is life getting you down?

Are the girls running away from you when you try to pick them up?

Are the boys ignoring the handkerchiefs you drop?

Need money? Power? Fame? A nice car?

Then come to Hill Street Center tomorrow morning at 10 AM (details are on the link over to your left <<<) for ZAZEN WITH BRAD™!!!

Zazen with Brad™ is the answer to all your problems!

You will be happy forever! You'll get more high quality ass than you can possibly handle! You'll get a good job with higher pay! Every cake you bake will turn out more tasty than your neighbor's! You'll have massive abs! A tighter, curvier butt! Cuter eyelashes! Your tennis game will improve dramatically! Your ukelele will always be perfectly in tune! Your dog will never poop where he's not supposed to again! You'll see God!

...or not. How the fuck should I know?

But I do know this is the last class at Hill Street Center I'll be attending for the next 2 months. I'll probably skeedaddle right after for the World Guitar Show down the street. But who knows? You may be able to actually speak to Brad Warner himself!

Imagine two full hours at a house by the beach with Zen Master Brad Warner Roshi and just four or five other people (or however many show up). What will happen as you delve deeply into your Self with the help of one of the great Zen masters of our time, allowing you to experience realizations usually requiring years of sitting meditation? How much will your life change with this type of deep and intimate help from a true master? How deep will you go? How deep will Brad go? How much awakening will you experience? How will you feel about your Self after you awaken with Brad?

Direct and extended face-to-face time with an awakened master is an exciting and rare opportunity. Those lucky enough to receive this type of personal attention can experience years, even decades, of progress in just a few days, shedding illusions that have held them back, experiencing deep realizations about their true nature, increasing their wisdom and compassion, and increasing their ability to serve others, making their cocks three inches longer and their nipples so high and hard they can put a man's eye out!

How can you afford to miss out on such an opportunity???

Answer: YOU CAN'T!

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Advertorial

Guess who has a spanking new member's VIP card?


Most of us have bought stuff from Watsons before and now we are about to be rewarded when we do so!



To get your card is incredibly simple.

Just buy your card at $5 at any Watsons store, and this gives you:

- A lifetime membership! No renewal costs!

- $150 worth of vouchers

- And 20 bonus points in the card upon online activation!

Here are 2 examples of the vouchers found in my thick stack:


And many more! I especially like the discounts on products that I regularly buy anyway such as make-up or shampoo. From ZA to Maybelline to Gillette to Pantene to KFC rebates and deals, this is definitely not a voucher book that you'd toss away.




It works based on a Points system. The more points you earn, the more you get in cash rebates!

Not only that...


2x points whenever you purchase any Watsons' house brands,

and 5x points the first time you shop at Watsons during your birthday month!



5x is damn ridiculous lah! At this rate I'm going to do all my shopping during that one day in April only.

Once you get your card, it's important to remember to activate it, otherwise you won't be eligible for the 20 free bonus points!

Here's how:

Oh lordy! Over 200 comments! I read a few of them. Skimmed others. Gosh.

BUT FIRST TO ANNOY ALL OF YOU HERE'S THE AD -- The location for my talk in London on Sept. 12th has been confirmed. It will be at Lecture Theatre 2C, King's College London, Strand, London WC2. On Sept. 14th I'll be at the Odd Fellow's Hall in Bristol. Highly appropriate if you ask me!

OK, what can I really say about the ILP? It's a scam not because it costs $200 but because its advertising implies you will be more "in the now" if you spend $200 on it. I have nothing against people making money on stuff. I spent over $200 a few years ago on a copy of the book KISSTORY, the autobiography of KISS created by the band themselves, signed by all four original members of the group (this is not my copy for sale here, I'd never sell it!). I knew the book didn't cost them anywhere near that much to produce. In fact, when I met Gene Simmons sometime later he told me they cost about $60 each to make and bragged about the huge profit margin. And I still didn't feel bad about buying it.

But KISS didn't promise me Enlightenment. They promised me a very cool book of photos and stories from the band's personal collection. That's exactly what I got and I love it.

I have no problem with people making money, even if they're Buddhist teachers and even if they're earning their money by being Buddhist teachers. What I have a problem with is the way Buddhism is being turned into a commodity. Enlightenment is being sold like mouth wash. The girls aren't running after you? Try Enlightenment and you'll never be without a date on Saturday night!

Enlightenment Experiences are crap.

It's not that hard to induce a whizz-bang experience through hypnotism or other means. If you mesmerize someone and feed their ego with the notion that they are Enlightened and that they can speak with the voice of God Himself, that person will have a pretty amazing time. If a genuine Zen Master certifies that experience as Kensho that seals the deal. Also having paid lots of money for the experience makes the person far less likely to want to admit it might not have been all it was supposed to be. This is so fucking obvious I don't even know why anyone has to point it out.

It's been known for thousands of years, long before Buddha's time even, that meditation practice can lead a person to have some pretty nifty experiences. The hallmark of true Zen practice is that it is the only form of meditation I know of that says you need to go beyond even these experiences and that going beyond them means coming right back here.

Real practice is difficult and doesn't always manifest itself in Big Cool Experiences™. In fact, any good teacher will smack those Big Cool Experiences™ right out of you if you bring them to her. Lousy teachers will charge you money to have those experiences and then try to hang on to you for as long as they can milk your wallet. That sucks. I want nothing to do with it.

Real practice saved my life and showed me stuff I could never have seen without it. Crap practice just gets you excited about the next big experience. It leads you away from real life, teaches you to throw away this moment for the moment in the future when you will be "in the now." Cuz you're not "in the now" now! Only when you buy their product can you be "in the now." And it takes 6-8 weeks to arrive. You will not be "in the now" for at least a month and a half!

This doesn't strike anyone as absurd?

Feh, I say! Feh!!

ADDENDUM:

Here's a snip from my upcoming book that addresses this problem. It's from the chapter about Zazen for survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

In spite of all the foregoing cautionary material, I still believe zazen can be a very good thing for survivors of traumatic experiences. Maybe even the best thing. It can put you directly in contact with the source of the trauma itself. By slowly and carefully removing the psychological barriers you’ve erected to protect yourself from these memories you can finally become aware that the memories themselves are just thoughts in your head. No matter what the content of your thoughts are, they are all just thoughts. This is easy to say but very difficult to truly understand because we’ve been taught since birth to believe in our own thoughts.

This is why we practice. Anyone can tell you this stuff and anyone can understand it intellectually. But applying it takes practice. It takes repetition. Sitting there on your cushion you allow stuff to come up over and over and over again and just sit there with it, not running away, not reacting, just sitting. This is how you learn your own way to deal with it. Not someone else’s way, even if that someone else is the Greatest Master Ever Known, because no one else’s way will work for you as well as your own way. By taking it slowly, you first learn to deal with the little things and eventually, when the big stuff hits, you’ve already had loads of experience.

Merely reading about zazen will not help you put its lessons into effect any more than merely reading about baseball will turn you into Major League material.

Misguided practices that encourage you to go for the big experiences as quickly as possible rob you of the ability to learn this process. They excite you and stimulate you, but that excitement and stimulation is ultimately more harmful than helpful.

Everyday I tell myself I’m going to exercise, or that today is the day I’m going to starve myself. But I never do. Why? Cause I’m fat…and lazy. It’s true. I’m not searching for those fake, “You don’t need to starve yourself….that much,” sympathy compliments. I’m on the chunkier side, and while yes my amazingly charming personality will get me far in life, it will not get me far bed.


And rather than actually get off my fat ass and do something about it, I’d rather just complain and lower my standards. Which if you know me, you know there pretty low to begin with. Well maybe not low, just “different.”


My mom once said to marry someone fatter than you, so that way when you let yourself go about five months after the wedding, you still won’t be the “fat one” in the relationship. Dear God, I think she may be right.


She also said to marry a Jew. So I have combined the two and made a hybrid of the perfect man: a Fat Jew. They’re great with their money and yet their self esteem is low enough that they’ll spend thousands to keep you around.

Ladies and Gentlemen this is the perfect man: The Fat Jew.

Fat Jews come in all shapes and size. Each one as juicy as the last:


#1 Fat Jew: Seth Rogen: Chunky, cheeky and a fro could a girl (or guy) ask for more? Um…no.
Seth Rogen is by far my dream man. Sexy, jewey, and all sorts of love. This man will keep your jelly roll flappin’ with all his funny one liners.


Seth Rogen I will make a porno with you! I will!

Fat Jew numero 2: Jonah Hill

Even though you may have lost some weight mister, you are still a Jew I would do.






















Oh blue eyes, I’ve always wanted to date a jew with bigger boobs than me. Jonah Hill I say yes!

And last but not least…..


Fat Jew numero 3: Jason Segal.

You make me laugh, you make me giggle. Now let’s force feed each other lard and kosher bacon.

























But you’re looking a little chunky….can you gain weight please? Thank you!

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1. I'm 27 years old and am just now learning that sexuality and sex can be things that are embraceable. I've always wanted sex to be a spiritual aspect of my life, and I'm learning that it doesn't have to be something that is whispered about behind your mother's back.

2. My first masturbatory experience was when I was 10. I had a gyrating ink-pen that oscillated just like a vibrator and I would lay on my stomach and press it against my clit. What I eventually learned was my first orgasm scared me, but it certainly didn't stop me.

3. I used to steal my dad's pornography. I hid it between my mattress and box springs thinking that was the only place no one would ever look for it, only to find out years later that that's where everyone hides their porn. I stole the stuff that was extremely explicit. Close-up pictures of penetration, both vaginal and anal. It was the 90's but the porn was from the 70's. The thing that disturbed me the most was the pictures of guys fucking with their socks on. To this day, I will not sleep with a man who has his socks on.

4. My parents knew that I was bisexual before I even understood what sexuality was. My father used to tell a story about me spending way too much time touching Barbie's breasts and then asking him why they weren't soft and where the nipples were. I can remember having a crush on Rainbow Bright. I thought she was simply beautiful and wonderful and amazing. I was no more than 5.

5. My first serious relationship was with a girl when we were both 14. It was only then that I sought out a word to use to describe my sexual attraction to both males and females.

6. Though she and I brought each other to orgasm, I still considered myself to be a virgin until I had physical intercourse with a man.

7. I type this realizing that I've told people these facts and it will be a certain give away to who I am. I am OK with that.

8. I lost my virginity at 19. I had promiscuous friends but I was the first in my group to have actual penetration intercourse. I distinctly remember feeling proud of myself for this.

9. My first male partner was also the first man to ever ejaculate on my body. He didn't ask first and got cum in my hair. That has become an off-limits thing for me. Anywhere but my hair, boys...

10. I consider myself to have an extremely high sex drive. I've come across people who want sex more often than I do, but not many. I am quite literally stuck in a relationship with a man who wouldn't care if he never had sex again. You can imagine my frustration. I have attempted to leave, but at this moment in my life it just isn't right. So, I find my sexual release in other places.

11. I have had 5 male partners and 4 female partners. My boyfriend only knows about 3 male partners and 3 female partners. I truly believe that it is better for him not to know.

12. My two most recent sexual partners were not my boyfriend. I met a man online. We then met in a parking lot and drove to a hotel. We didn't have actual intercourse, but we did almost everything else. He was the first man to see me naked since I started dating my boyfriend almost 7 years ago. I have come to delight in knowing that he wants to see me again. My self-esteem is (wrongly) based on what others think of my body. I have just recently started to love my full figure and knowing that my curves turn this man on gives me an unreal sense of power.

13. I met another man I met on the internet about a month later. 15 years my senior and the best sex I've ever had. We spent the night together and I was sore the next day. I came home with bruises all over my body from his teeth on my skin. Lying about their cause came way too easily and I have yet to feel guilty.

14. Writing this I have realized that the partners that only I know about are the ones that I had the best chemistry with. I think I might be keeping them a secret so that I can relish in that connection.

15. I absolutely delight in giving oral sex. I find that I am much better at giving fellatio than cunnilingus. This is something that I wish to change. I may not give the best blow job a guy has ever had, but what I might lack in technique, I make up for with effort.

16. The sensation of feeling a man getting hard in my mouth, knowing that it is me turning him on, knowing that I have the ability to make him orgasm... this also gives me an unreal sense of power.

17. I also enjoy the feeling of a slightly swollen clit against my tongue. The best moment of giving oral sex to a woman, for me, is when she raises her hips to meet my mouth, letting me know that she wants me.

18. All of the aforementioned sexual statements may lead you to believe that my seeking power makes me more dominant in bed. I am quite the opposite. I am extremely dominant in my day to day life, and my submissive side takes precedent in bed. I enjoy the release of control. I also am quite aware of the fact that my choosing to release control is asserting power in other ways.

19. I often wake up masturbating. More often than not, I am on my stomach with a hand down in my panties. I don't know if I have just had a wet dream or if my hands have a mind of their own. I do know that morning orgasms are better than any other time of the day.

20. That being said, I also masturbate right before bed. I guess I need orgasms to wake up and to fall asleep.

21. Today was the first time I had sex with my boyfriend since sleeping with #7. I managed to stay in the moment and be completely with him, but afterward, while showering, I wanted so badly to know if I felt different because of what I'd done.

22. I fantasize about public sex. I don't think I actually want it, but the taboo that surrounds it turns me on to no end.

23. Pain has become one of the most erotic aspects of intercourse for me. This pain can range from someone biting my lower lip to leaving welts on my skin. I've started to wonder if this pain is a way for me to "remember" the infrequent sex I have.

24. Sometimes, I literally lose major portions of my day fantasizing about having a woman's breast in my hands and her hard nipple against my tongue. I'm talking about zoning out completely and realizing it 15-20 minutes later.

25. Though I believe that casual sex can be very satisfying, I truly believe that the best sex comes from a connection between the participants. This connection doesn't have to be love or anything close to it. The connection just needs to be a reciprocal desire to give pleasure.

1. I am 41 this year. I am bisexual. None of the label words bother me. I've heard them all.

2. I love curvy women. Boobs, small, tiny waist, nice ass. That is perfection. Dark hair and vivid eyes are a bonus. In either sex.

3. I am currently married and have been in several relationships.

4. I've had sex with about 7 men and 5 women.

5. The number of makeouts can no longer be calculated.

6. I attract all types.

7. I flirt with anyone that moves me.

8. I never want to be a guy but strap on play is excellent.

9. My look changes with the day. I am everything and anything in bed.

10. Very tall, very built men attract me-at first. The rest come with my mood.

11. I'm open to everything but scat. I'm just too lazy to clean that sort of thing up.

12. I don't have sex with everyone that thinks I'm hot. Sometimes it's just them testing their chase and catch routines.

13. I'm 5'6" and have no clue how much I weigh but I'm a size 8.

14. I'm multiracial and anyone appeals to me.

15. Lately I'm into tall, amazonian types with vivid eyes.

16. I'm attracted equally to both sexes. Always have been.

17. When I was a kid I masturbated constantly during "naptime." I let other kids look. There was a lot of self-exploration going on in that class.

18. When I was a kid I made out with neighbors and one cousin. He was ick for me.

19. I have had sex with friends and stayed friends. Although I've also had the unfortunate situation of having friends turn into stalkers. Sometimes people can't sort sex from love or lust.

20. I would have sex for money under the right circumstances. I can be moody sometimes.

21. I like men or women minimum age 30 unless their attitude/carriage surprises me.

22. I get hit on everywhere. I have become desensitized to it.

23. I sleep with or date anyone that is interesting to me. I will not sleep with uninteresting people for any reason.

24. I act on whatever I want whenever I want. Often to my eternal aggravation.

25. I masturbate very often and love porn. I have toys if I'm not watching it with someone.

Note: Blogged one new post under this post.

Advertorial



How about doing something fun and also ultra good for you, like a FACIAL MASK??

I hate to sound like one of those girls who are always going on about skincare, but it's really time to start. :(

And yes, I regret not putting in more effort when I was younger.

I've heard so many aunties say that sentence to me when I was a teen and it irritated me so much that I vowed never to repeat that. But here I am, repeating it! Golden advice!

Nowadays all my girlfriends who are about my age are putting on face masks all the time! After a mask, skin feels hydrated, rejuvenated, and well... it gives me the illusion that I'm 18 again. Except ironically when I was 18 my skin was damn shitty. But that's not the point.

I'm constantly on the lookout for better skin care products because the technology is always improving anyway!

So. I got sponsored 3 new skincare products and I'm gonna introduce them to you!

Available at SA SA outlets:




Maybe some of you have seen, heard of, or even used these before.

Afterall, they have been featured on Taiwan’s hottest TV programme 女人我最大 before!

So what's so special about Beauty Talk's products?

As is obvious from the product names and my blog title, the answer is OXYGEN.

Did you know that even if you keep a stringent skincase regime, your skin can still appear yellowish and dull if it doesn't have enough oxygen in it?

"Oxygen is important for our skin as it renews skin cells, promotes metabolism and provides energy to the skin.

Without fresh oxygen, blood circulation is slower and unable to detoxify, causing dark and dull skin."

Well. That's kinda lousy news.

So now we know that on top of moisturizing and hydrating, sunblock, and an amass of other things we need to do to keep looking young, we can now add "giving skin OXYGEN" to the list.

But no worries, I'm gonna give my skin oxygen if that's what it wants. It's like a demanding girlfriend, never stops requesting for stuff.


The mask is supposed to have lifting purposes and make your lighten your labii folds. These are the creases at the sides of our mouths when we smile.

That is not obvious in the photo I took but CHECK OUT HOW MUCH FAIRER I AM on the right side of my face where I put the mask!

I won't believe it but I really look brighter and much more radiant on that side! Granted, my left side still has blusher on (strictly no foundation), but you can see that even my forehead lightened!

Not only that, my skin feels super soft, silky and supple!

If you think I photoshopped the effects in, do watch this clip and you will be thoroughly convinced:




Super amazing isn't it?

Polish off the routine with OxyAqua: Intensive Hydrating Essense and you are done!



This gel cream moisturiser is water-based and not oily at all. The perfect companion for the toner and mask!

Celebrate good skin with Camwhoring!

Here's me with some blusher put on. I can't live without blusher, sorry.


It's Beauty Talk's 1st BIRTHDAY!

So to celebrate this successful 1st year anniversary, you are given discounts!


OxySolution + OxyMask + OxyAqua used to go for $195.70, but now they are selling for $138!!




Old customers must quickly grab a spare set and new customers should try it now while it's so cheap!


Beauty Talk products are available at all SA SA outlets.

p/s: Just to reillustrate, I didn't put foundation for all these pictures, though I did apply some blusher. Tiny blemishes or zits are also smoothed out, but I definitely did not use photoshop to create the lightened effect on the after photo!

Randomly decided to fry rice that day and it turned out really muthafucking yummy so I cooked it again and took some pictures to share the recipe!

Cooking is definitely not one of my stronger suits**, so if I can make it nice so can you!

**Although my maternal grandpa and uncle were both chefs. I guess the gene didn't pass on to me.

White rice: 2 cups full

Coconut milk, half a packet

Eggs: 2

Taiwan sausage: 2

Spam luncheon meat: Half a small can

1 can 3 layered pork, also known as Kong ba (Hokkien) or Kou rou (Chinese)

UPDATE: After cooking this many times I've decided that a full packet of coconut milk and THREE eggs is the way to go! Definitely no mushrooms though.

You may notice that I left out the shiitake mushrooms. That's cos I think the fried rice actually tastes nicer without the mushrooms.

I only added them in this time round coz I had them in the fridge and they looked like they are about to go bad. So it's your choice if you wanna put the mushrooms in!



Here's the 3 layered pork. It looks FUCKING gross with loads of opaque white fats in it which I already fished out. But it tastes sooo good.


Add in oil from the 3 layered pork can!

I strongly believe that how yummy fried rice is is directly proportional to how much oil is used so be generous!

I poured half the can in and added a bit of sunflower oil. I already feel damn guilty about using the unhealthy oil so I tried to make myself feel better by mixing in normal cooking oil.


Frying the mushrooms first... They don't take to frying that well as they keep leaking moisture and making the oil hop like mad. And also sticks to the pan. But oh well.

If you are not using mushrooms skip to next step.



AND half a packet of coconut milk.

I know it's unconventional but what doesn't taste good with coconut milk? Ok fine, many things, but generally coconut milk is awesome!