sex warehouse

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Amazing Euro premier of Cleveland's Screaming last night. Lots of terrific questions from the audience. Who'd've thought the Finns would be so into Ohio punk? Not me.

Tonight I'm at Balderin Sali, Aleksanterinkatu 12, Helsinki at 6PM.

I've been doing interview after interview after interview since I've been here. And there's one thing I've found myself saying over and over. It's that I got into the practice of zazen because it was practical and useful for me. I did not get into it because I had any desire to be "a Buddhist" or because I wanted someday to be a monk or a teacher of Buddhism. I don't self-identify as a Buddhist or a monk except when it's necessary because of the job that I do. In fact I don't even know if I really qualify as a monk by most people's standards. I use the term because after I took jukai with Nishijima Roshi I asked him, "Am I a monk now?" and he said, "Yes. You are a monk now." His attitude is based on Buddha's who ordained monks by just saying, "Welcome monk."

This relates to my bottom line. I can't remember if I've told this story here already or not. But last year I went to a sesshin at Berkeley Zen Center. I signed up for dokusan with Sojun Mel Weitsman. During the dokusan I complained to Mel about some problems I'd been having with my little Saturday morning group in Santa Monica. They seemed to see me as something I clearly was not, a kind of a spiritual leader or some shit like that. By extension a lot of the people I was talking to on tour or via Suicide Girls and this blog also seemed to see me that way.

Mel said, "What's your bottom line with your Saturday morning group?" I said that as far as I was concerned, I sat zazen on Saturdays at 10 AM at Hill Street Center and the door was open for anyone who wanted to join me.

It was a funny moment because up till then I'd never really thought of it that way. But I said it very easily and spontaneously. That's the magic of dokusan with a good teacher, I guess.

This is also my bottom line with everyone to whom I introduce this practice. It's something that I do, which I have found extremely useful and you can do it too. That's pretty much it.

I didn't get into this because I wanted to try and live up to someone else's bizarre ideas of what a Buddhist ought to be. There have been occasions when I've tried to do that and it made me intensely miserable. I didn't get into Zen practice to be miserable.

I only do what I do to the extent that it helps make my life a little better. I allow people access to my personal story because I think they also might find something beneficial there the way I found it beneficial to hear my first teacher Tim's and Nishijima Roshi's stories.

Sometimes when I complain about my current job people say, "Why don't you just quit and go work in an office or something?" But I've lived long enough to know that no job is ever without problems. And I know myself well enough to know that I'll always complain. Big deal.

But I also know that it doesn't make any sense to simply up and quit your job because it's not perfect. The next job you get won't be any more perfect. I only quit a job if it becomes totally unworkable (that's a grammatically odd sentence but I like it, so I'm leaving it). So far this one has not. At least not yet.

I have yet another interview to go to, so I'm gonna leave it at that for now. Just thought you might like to know.

I'm lying in bed now, having just woken up.

My poor blog looks so stupid with no updates I've decided to tell you all about my mediocre day yesterday.

First I woke up at 11am and the sun was blazing hot. Then I called my friend and yelled at him, "Omg let's go tanning!!!!"

My friend said ok, but he needs to go to the gym first. I said I'd meet him at his place at 1.30pm then.

Boiled potatoes to make mashed potatoes. Talked to shuyin on msn. Burnt potatoes. Whole house smelt like burnt potatoes. Hahahaha! I'm so descriptive. Ok fine, it smelt rancid.

Cut off the burnt parts. Mashed potatoes with some water (no milk at home), chunks of butter and a dollop of mayo. It's fab. I make fab mashed potatoes.

Mike came home for lunch.

Pumpkin pooped on the shoe rack. Got walloped and time-out-ed in her toilet. (Till later)

Packed potatoes in microwaveable rectangular plastic box and left for friend's place. Took a cab. Had the cleverness to call him before I reached to find out he is still ta pao-ing food at cineleisure.

I stopped the cab there (he stays in orchard, has own swimming pool!!), and he went to buy LJS while I bought the fake jap food from cine's basement.

Meanwhile, went to do do club (just beside food place) with the intentions to buy fake eyelashes, if they got nice ones.

I picked 4.

The price was $19.80!

I jumped and said, "Why so expensive??"

Woman said coz one packet is $4.95.

I said, "Oh you all increased the price, used to be $3.80."

Stupid woman said, "No, it has always been this price."

Retard to the max! I clearly remember it was $3.80 coz I must have bought at least 40 pairs of lashes from there! Always been $4.95 my ass!! Always been that price since she's been working there maybe!!

So I said, "I don't want it anymore."

The semi-evolved human said, "Huh, all of them?"

I answered in the affirmative.

She yelled, "But I already keyed them in!!" And acted like I have to do her a favour and pay up $19.80 just coz she already keyed my lashes in!!! Wtf??

It's not my problem that she keyed it in and I told her as much. Ridiculous.

Walked away. Nobody stopped me, although I'm sure they would be cursing me for the rest of the day.

With food, went to my friend's place, took off clothes (with bikini left of course) and AHHHHhhhhhh! Sun!! We had a decadent time eating at the pool.

Tanned till 5pm. I was a bit burnt.

Wongsie and mike then came over (asked Mike to release Pumpkin from Time-Out) and all 4 of us went to Jumbo seafood to eat.

We had drunken prawns, scallops wrapped in yam, mee goreng, spinach and mushroom tofu, and kang kong! It was not bad.

Then we adjoined to The Daily Scoop for ice cream, which was closed. Went to Udders instead. I had Strawberry Fields and Cempedak icecream!!

And then mike sent everyone home and we went home too.

I started reading My Sister's Keeper. It's promising. Finished to page 15.

Fell asleep till now.

And this is the first blog post written on my berry!!

Tonight's talk at the Helsinki Zen Center was a smashing success in spite of my total unfamiliarity with the customs of Philip Kapleau Roshi's lineage.

Tomorrow it's three interviews with Finnish punk magazines and then at 6:00 pm a panel discussion with bunches of Buddhists at Balderin sali, Aleksanterinkatu 12, 00710 Helsinki.

Then at 9:00 pm Espoo Cine International Film Festival will show the European premier of my documentary movie "Cleveland's Screaming!" in Tapiola, Espoo. Rock'n'roll in deed!

Wish I could tell you more but I'm about to collapse. Good night!

Same studio in Somerville. You know the converted police station? Yeah. That place. The lofts are gorgeous. I can't remember the exact month I took these. I'm sure the copy of the check is laying around here someplace. I had the nerve to think I didn't need makeup for this shoot. WTF was I thinking? Do you see that zit/knot on the side of my head? Pfuf!

Damn, does this dick get any closer? You can see the head. This young fellow was gorgeous. I'd say Italian-looking, long lashes, freckles, short curly hair, green-flecked eyes. When I stood up, we were eye to eye. He gave me some visual attention. Now that I'm more in tune with my more versatile side, I can honestly say that I could've fucked him into next week.

http://billymasters.com

Too tired from Turku to talk.

Tomorrow I've got four (4!) interviews including one with MTV-Finland, which is not Music Television, but apparently one of the biggest TV networks here. Gosh.

The gig tomorrow evening is:

•August 25, 2009 (Tues) 6 - 8:00 pm Helsinki Zen Center, Kalevankatu 4, second floor, Helsinki, contact Sami Mänty-Aho helsinki@zazen.fi

Other upcoming Finnish gigs are on the link to your left.

Come see one before I finish with the Finnish!

I just arrived in Finland last night. They're racing me all over the country starting in about an hour. So I have no time to write anything profound.

The Frankfurt sesshin was wonderbar! Many thanks to everyone attended and big special thanks to Regina Oberndorfer for making the whole thing happen. The photo is a shot of the whole group on the last day. The quilt I'm wearing over my shoulder is actually a kesa made by Michel Proulx from fabric scraps donated from all over Europe. Groovey!

I'd like to direct your attention to the page linked over there to your left about my tour in case you're in Finland and want to see some of the stuff. It's over there<<<<<<

Here's where I'll be today:

•August 24, 2009 (Mon) 4 – 5:30 pm Zazen at Joogastudio Samadhi, Askaistentie 89, 20810 Turku, After zazen there will a talk and open discussion. Contact: Ari Vuokko studio@olen.to
•August 24, 2009 (Mon) 6:30 - 8:00 pm, public lecture at Turku Main Library's lecture hall (Studio) Linnankatu 2, 20100 Turku.

Nothing's happening, so no updates. Boo!

Almost wish someone would piss me off.

No pictures either coz had nothing interesting to take pictures of.

I did not go to Frankenstein Castle today :-( But I did go to every record store in Frankfurt. Found the CD edition of Zappa's 200 Motels. It came out in '97, but for reasons that escape me I never bought it. Now it's out of print. So it was a lucky find.

The Zen significance of this is that my first Zen teacher, Tim McCarthy, used to quote from this all the time. "Manuel, the gardener, slid his mutated member into her quivering quim!" Yes, folks, I come from a long and glorious Buddhist tradition!

Tomorrow is the start of yet another darned sesshin. 34 people signed up for the thing! Can you believe that? Who in their right mind would put themselves through such torture? Three days of wall gazing and sleeping on thin futons in a group on the floor in the Buddha hall then waking up at nothing o'clock in the morning. But it looks like the food will be good.

Uhhhhhh... I wish I had some great philosophical gem to leave you with. But they're watching Pimp My Ride or some such thing in here where the Internet access is and it's scrambling my synapses too much.

Next report, from Finland! See you there!

(PHOTO CAPTION: Great Sky 2009. This was the first time I've ever been served macaroni & cheese oryoki style at a Zen Sesshin! But it was held in Minnesota...)

ODESSA VOTE ME NUDE NINETEEN AND THREE MORE COMMENT VOTES ARE NEEDED TO STRIP HER NUDE. PLEASE COME AND JOIN ODESSA AND CAST YOUR STRIPPING COMMENT VOTE TO SEE HER NUDE.

I'm back from Hamburg. Eberhard Kuegler took me on a tour of the Reepabahn where we found a whole bunch of famous Beatle sites. It was the 49th anniversary of the day The Beatles played their first ever show in Hamburg at the Indra club. The Indra is still there, but was closed that day. Still I got a photo of the plaque commemorating the event. In spite of the date stamp which I can't figure out how to turn off that says every photo was taken on Oct. 1, 2003, the photo was taken on Aug. 17th.

We also visited the former site of the Star Club (now torn down), the Kaiserkeller, the church behind which the Beatles reportedly pissed because the Kaiserkeller's toilets were so foul, a pub where Paul McCartney had a tab from 1962 that he finally paid off in 1989, and an abstract statue of the late Stu Sutcliffe, the Beatles' original bassist. We looked for the Bambi Kino, where The Beatles slept and burned a condom stuck on the wall, but we couldn't find it. All this stuff is within a couple blocks.

I also discovered Pranke, the world's coolest monster movie mag! Gosh!

So I was thinking about how to describe this whole "avoid preferences" thing. I think most people, when they first hear it, think of it the way I did when I first heard it. You think, "Oh my God! I like vanilla better than chocolate! I like The Ramones better than Air Supply! I like laying on the beach better than getting hit in the face with a 2x4! What am I going to do???"

In other words you think, like I did, that preferences are a solid thing that must be gotten rid of. You imagine that there must be some kind of bizarre mental gymnastics involved in forever ridding yourself of all like and dislike so that someday when you go to Ben & Jerry's and they ask you what flavor you want you'll just smile beatifically and say, "Give me whatever you like, for lo, I am free from preferences."

But it's much more immediate and direct than that. It's also the answer to one of my most frequently asked questions -- the one that goes, "My brain is all clogged up and scattered when I do Zazen. Am I doing it wrong?"

The answer to that question is directly related with the matter of preferences. Your brain is all cloudy but you'd prefer that it not be. The difference between what you are and what you think you ought to be causes your imagination to leap wildly. You try to go from where you are to this idealized state. But it's a losing battle because the attempt to change from what you are to what you think you should be is the very problem itself.

The solution is to simply forgo preferences. Don't make any effort to be what you're not. Just allow what you are to fully manifest. Keep your posture and stay still. Sit with it. Don't go against it.

******

On a completely unrelated topic, since I'm going to be speaking to lots of Dogen Sangha folks on this Euro trip, I've been thinking a lot about what Dogen Sangha ought to be.

Truth be told, I'd like nothing better than to give up Dogen Sangha entirely. I am not interested in being the head of an organization at all. I don't like institutions. I don't like clubs. I am not a group joiner and I don't even have the slightest interest in being the leader of one.

I'm not really certain what Dogen Sangha should be. But I know what I don't want it to be. It can never become an institution along the lines one of those giant soul-killing religious machines. I won't name names because that just makes people mad. But there are dozens of these monsters roaming the world eating up people and turning them into mindless clones who only seek to extend the size and power of the institution.

Institutions like these develop something like a mind and will of their own. It's hard to say just how this happens. But I've been watching this work over the past few months in a couple of places and it's very, very scary. Individuals begin to bend their own will to the will of the institution and are very quickly turned into its pawns. They have no idea this is happening. They'll even claim to be going against the will of the machine while simultaneously doing exactly what it wants. Even the leaders of these institutions are powerless against their institution's will.

I want nothing at all to do with anything like that and I will walk away from Dogen Sangha if it ever begins to function in that manner. At any given moment I'm about a half second from cutting all ties with Dogen Sangha and this will probably remain the case until the day I finally get totally fed up and do so. If that becomes necessary. I hope it doesn't. I think it probably will...

The only aim of Dogen Sangha is to make Dogen's philosophy and the practice of zazen available. That's it. The organization should remain very loose, a vague affiliation of like-minded people. I'm not going to keep a roster of members or make pronouncements about what the members of the group should and should not believe or do. I don't really care, actually. I can't be bothered to spend any effort worrying about that kind of thing.

In the event someone should start doing something truly bizarre in the name of Dogen Sangha, then I might have to take some action. Until such time each local group should just carry on doing whatever it is they do.

That's all for today. Maybe I'll come up with some other stuff later.

It's official. I need a video booth intervention. I was back at the one at 21st and 8th for like 5 hours Sunday. My bus back to Boston wasn't scheduled to leave until 11:30p. Naturally, I picked the latest one so I could play, but I over did it by a mile. At one point, I was sitting on a dude's dick while another guy was sitting on mine. If you haven't tried that, it's pretty awesome. I had been on the bottom of a "layer cake" (I just made that up), but never in the middle. I couldn't figure out if one guy was drunk or mentally challenged, but I fucked him anyway. He was an amazing kisser with a fat dick. How could I deny him?

Earlier I had an intense makeout session through the huge cutout in the partition with a sexy young Latino. His lips were as full as mine, which drove me to madness because I got to literally suck. He was an insanely good kisser. We tried to (gently) tear the lips off each other's face. At one point, my entire head up to the clavicle was on the other side of the wall. Now I ask you, why the hell didn't I just go in the booth where he was?

The random part of it all was seeing my ex boyfriend from college walk by me in the sex area. I hadn't seen him in about 4 years. My current boyfriend (you know, the porn dude *grin*) lives in Harlem. I'll give you one guess where the ex lives. Uh yeah. Freaky. And both their first names start with J. And they both have penises. I know, right?

Finally, I learned a valuable lesson: When in a sex booth, hang your clothes up because they'll get nutted on. I was getting fucked by the same guy who had been riding my dick minutes earlier in the 3 way, when he pulled out and left. I didn't know if or where he actually blew his load...until I picked up my green striped shirt.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Advertorial

Remember my Loreal-Garnier Eye Roll-On advertorial? Now Biotherm came up with a product similar to that, but for guys!!





Have no idea what Yeux means but it sure sounds all sciencey and like something that your eyes would love!

Eyebags and dark eye rings are unattractive for BOTH men and women, but the difference is that there are loads of products for women to help them with this problem!

I have like 5 different eye creams myself. -_-

But none for men - till now!

This little tube contains Pure Ginseng and Thermal Plankton among other ingredients to soothe tired eyes! It's an instant solution for men when it comes to erasing eye fatigue!





This little cold metal ball gives easy application... it dispenses a cool, clear gel which perks up and feels good against drowsy eyes.

Instant freshness!



Men are usually lazy when it comes to the maintenance of their appearances, but there are ways to "persuade" them to work harder.


How far would men go doing crazy, slightly gross, and very questionable home remedies on their eyes just because they are asked by a gorgeous girl?


Biotherm did a hilarious campaign just to find this out!

Check out these poor dudes:



I would never have believed it, but these guys allowed Jeanne, the "Eye-Fatigue Therapist", to put DURIANS on their eyes!!

I love durians perhaps more than most people, but I won't allow durians on my eyes lor!

And two whole durians (seeds, not the spiky fruit, duh, that would be so painful)?? So sticky... and worse, the smell will be ON YOUR FACE for the whole day!

Hahahaha...



My second favourite video is SALMON!

Would anyone really believe that putting a slab of really fishy-smelling raw salmon on your eyes would curb fatigue??

These guys try it anyway!!


If you are really sadistic and want to watch more guys getting duped, putting things like bittergourds, cheese and grass jelly on their eyes, CLICK HERE!


But at the end of the day, of course, only Biotherm's HIGH RECHARGE YEUX works.



Wooooo! Promotion!

To get a COMPLIMENTARY eye massage, skin consultation and free samples from Biotherm's consultants, all you have to do is:



Click here to see the list of outlets you may go to go get your freebies!!


It's time to drag your boyfriend down there and get him cuter!








p/s: You know who should really use this? J Lo's husband, Marc Anthony!




His eyebags/dark eye circles really makes him look like a combination of vulture and vampire.













I often have nightmares about Mike.

The most common recurring one is about him generally just flying back to the USA and being totally uncontactable.

It's always night during those dreams and would involve me bombarding his phone but constantly typing in the wrong number!

When I finally get his number right, I'd either get

- An engaged tone. (WTF giving me hope)

- A message saying the phone number is no longer in use.

- An unhelpful helpdesk sorta person telling me Mike already left the country and his location is not to be revealed to me, which often results in me begging her.

- Mike himself picking up and telling me to stop bothering him, and I can never find him.



It's fucking horrible!!!!!

I presume I get these nightmares coz I'm still traumatized over the few alcoholic occasions when he went drinking with his colleagues and went uncontactable. HATE IT!

Anyway, yesterday I had the worst nightmare regarding Mike EVER.

It was so long and continuous and contained so much details I twittered 7 tweets about it.

Anyway, my followers on Twitter told me to go blog instead so here I am!

It started out with Mike going out with my family members on some trip.

Suddenly he collapsed to the ground. My uncles and cousins all tried to pick him up.

I was obviously damn worried he died so I kept shrieking at people to send him to the goddamn hospital. Everyone told me to relax, which pissed me off greatly.

For some reason we were in Ang Mo Kio and finally an ambulance from Ang Mo Kio hospital came and picked the still unconscious Mike into a green stretcher.

A female doctor in a surgical gown (green too, with green gloves) was operating on Mike as me and my family members looked on anxiously. Well I knew I was anxious, not sure about my dream family.

While on the operating table, there was an LED screen near to Mike and it was flashing red words. These were details about Mike. The words read "Mike, 28, DIVORCEE".

I know technically it should read "Divorced", but please don't correct my grammar in a dream.

Anyway, so it was revealed that Mike was freaking MARRIED before he met me!!!!!!!

Everyone was very shocked by this revelation and my family all gave me pitying looks.

I was like, "WHO IS THIS MIKE GUY? I don't know him at all!" in my mind but I was actually more concerned about his physical state!

Anyway, the doctor was damn curt and said Mike had a heart attack.


I woke up.

And fell back asleep again, continuing the dream.


Mike recovered and suddenly he was cheating on me with this girl called Vivian, who is a friend's friend that I just added on facebook. I haven't even seen Vivian in seriously like 8 years!!! And 8 years ago I maybe saw her like 3 times!!

WTF lor super ridiculous.

So anyway, this Vivian was at our new place and she and Mike were already together!

It was damn awkward.

For some reason Vivian was like watching me as I chose clothes to wear.

And I chose this white top and black skirt... Then I set the black skirt down as I wore the white top, and couldn't find the black skirt. Then I had to settle for a white with black polka dots skirt.

Anyway, the white top was MESH and the skirt was damn ugly so essentially I dressed really hideously in front of Vivian who scoffed at me!

And Mike gave her a loving look which obviously said, "See, she's so ugly, thank god I chose you!"

I then somehow suggested to Mike that I should "get the house" and he can move out, and he actually replied, "That's what you were hoping for, isn't it?"

Which is completely illogical coz the house is a rental.

And then my friends were there to support and comfort me. I didn't realise it during the dream, but I've fought with these friends in real life and are no longer in contact with them. Goddamn it, as if the dream wasn't bad enough already!

I started to actually physically fight him, and woke up at this point.


Sucks balls man.


Poor Mike (the real one) had to suffer 15 mins of my "Were you ever married?" questions.

A week ago I snapped this pic at the Pines T dance. (Why do they call it that when no one's dancing)? Anyway. The guy in the center was definitely free balling a fucking horse knob in his pants. Like many of the pics I take, the "knobbiness" just doesn't come through as well as I'd like. *grin* But that's the price for guerrilla-style cam shots. It's not like I could've said, "oh excuse me. You with the huge cock. Could you please turn a little more to the left so I can photograph the baby arm in your pants. Thanks." Actually, now that I think about it, I probably could've asked this guy.

I arrived this morning at 9:30 in Frankfurt, Germany after eight days in the back woods of Minnesota. The photo I put up here is the view I saw for most of those eight days. Literally. The schedule included nine 40-minute periods of zazen per day, beginning at 5 AM and ending at 8:50 PM. And that board was what I looked at. See if you can spot the images of Johnny Ramone and the words "Brachiosaurus," "Pepper" and "Znorft" in the grain of the wood. I did!

Speaking of Brachiosaurus, the Chicago O'Hare Airport has a gigundous skeleton of one in Terminal 2 (I think it was 2). Who'd have thunk? That was pretty cool.

ANYWAY, this was my third Great Sky Sesshin and one of the most funnest. Minnesota hospitality is warm and bendy. The Great Sky was especially great this year with the Leonid Meteor Shower. I spotted a few big ones. Also lightning bugs, which they don't have in California. It's nice to see them again.

The experience of a sesshin is probably the exact opposite of the experience of looking at the Internet. When I opened up my computer for the first time in a week I saw there were something like 270-some comments on my last post! You guys have been busy.

I suppose I was busy too. But in a very different way. Dokai Georgeson, the resident monk and abbot of Hokyoji, where Great Sky is held, gave a talk about, among other things, that old saw horse Faith Mind Inscription by the Third Patriarch of Zen in China. That's the one that goes, "The Great Way is not difficult, just avoid picking and choosing." It's funny how you can hear something a few dozen times over the course of a few dozen years and just barely get it, but then someone says it just once more and it falls into place. Then it slips away again.

Rosan Yoshida gave a really good talk in which he came up with a really neat-o way of explaining Dogen's old adage that practice and enlightenment were one and the same. He talked about mountain climbing. It's hard work to climb a mountain. Lots of physical strain and sweat. If you just wanted to know what things looked like at the top you could rent a video. But it's not at all the same thing as climbing the mountain yourself. In a very real way climbing the mountain and reaching the top are not two distinct activities. And climbing back down is also a necessary part of the process.

I thought that was kind of nice.

We're going to Hamburg tomorrow. I'm gonna look for the Kaiserkeller and the Star Club.

I fucked this cute, long, lean Latino last week in the video booth; he was really wanting some dick (a man after my own heart). So I accommodated. As you can see, I didn't even take my pants off. This guy was giving off some seriously sexy, natural body odor. Though it's not obvious in the pic, his ass was very round. All the bubble butts and bubble butt lovers say, "hell yeah!"

Yesterday I filmed a scene as an extra in Central Park. There were lots of bulges to admire from the many guys running and sunning. This is one of the crew: a Spanish cutie. You can see his little bulge begging for some visual love.


I love bulges. If you do, too (and I know you do), check out the link. It's an oldie, but goodie. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear to have been updated this year at all. Still there are lots of pics to enjoy. Who knows? If you're in the NY area and feel so inclined, maybe you can add to it yourself. http://hispandex.com/

Wanted to tweet this on Twitter but said website is down at the moment so here I am, blogging a short post!

All sorts of studies are done everyday. Many are thoroughly useless and stupid.

My friend just told me he has to watch over a few hundred hours of sneakily taken Hornbill videos to conclude how many hornbill moms eat their chicks. Or something like that.

He told me that he saw a mummy hornbill kill 3 of her 4 chicks, but honestly, knowing that sort of information does no one any good, except if you are a hornbill male and you wanna fuck but don't want babies.

But of course hornbill males have no idea how to calculate probability so this information is also useless to them.

Anyway, my point is that studies should be a bit more useful!

A very good one I can think of is:




And I mean like after you forgive your boyfriend for cheating on you, would he just do it again?

Is it true, once a cheater, always a cheater?

Don't you think that's fucking useful information to know?

Say after polling 100,000 cheating scumbags, statistics prove that 99.99% of them cheat again, whether or not they were found out - will that affect your decision to take back a wayward boyfriend?

Or will you still naively believe that he is the 0.01%?

Other useful studies:

- Percentage of men who abuse women and promise never to do it again but does it again anyway.

- Percentage of men whose penises actually enlarged after using penis-enlargement kits (For you guys to stop having false hopes!)

- Percentage of people who think they are fat who are really fat. If this number is low enough, it would convince me, "Hey, I can't possibly be that 1%, right?

Therefore, I must not be fat." I realise this spirals into a logic blackhole (ie when I don't think I'd fat, I'd be part of the 99% who doesn't think I'm fat but actually is), but fuck off.

- Percentage of bad boys who become family men... eventually.

If this percentage is low enough, women will generally stop fucking bad boys in the hopes they reform, and bad boys will not get sex and then be forced to be good guys. This then ups the statistics so it's a vicious cycle. I'm rambling and I can't stop.

I admit that most of my requested statistics are skewed towards women's advantages, further alienating the already-tiny straight male portion of my blog readers.

Poof. Last 2 straight male readers gone.

It's inevitable they are dwindling. I refuse to place my jugs on the table and take subtle (but obvious, like, OH, ARE THEY SPILLING OUT? I HAD NO IDEA!) photos of them.


Oooooh!!!


REGRET statistics would be useful too:

- Percentage of people who regret going to college, and percentage of people who never went regretting not going.

- Percentage of people who regret having plastic surgery (If I knew this stat I'd be much more placated deciding on whether I should do my nose job.)

-Percentage of people who regret cheating. I really would love to know the answer for this...

Etc... You get the idea!

USEFUL STUDIES RIGHT??? Instead of stupid studies like whether iphone users are smarter and happier!

Regret studies are awesome. Imagine you wanna sign up for facebook.

First, you check the regret statistics for facebook sign-ups, because people who still don't have facebook probably would do something like that.

Say it's really low, at 5%. Everyone else is elated they joined. Would you join?


OMG!!!! I'd do the regret statistics and sell the good ones to advertisers!

All the companies will have new marketing campaigns!

ie. Coca-cola: "Open Happiness guaranteed at 90%!!***"

Macdonalds: "I'm lovin' it 86%!"

Nike: "91% of people just do it!"


*** According to the very reliable Xiaxue Regret Statistics.


Can't decide if you'd rather go to Bintan or Bali? Check out the cross-reference Regret Statistics.

Wanna tattoo a snowman? Check out how many Snowman-tattooed people are regretting their choice first.

Fancy like taking a risk? Try one of the high Regret Factor actions such as smearing feces on your face.

It's all awesome!


p/s: How many forgiven cheating scumbags cheat again? Let me know your personal experiences on this!

UPDATE: Don't know why I bother asking opinions when I don't believe girls who say their cheater boyfriends changed anyway.

I think they either didn't find out about further cheating, are lying to themselves, or that the boyfriend just HASN'T cheated (again) yet.

Is it very bad to scoff at such girls?

And a lot of you have cheated! Was it worth it, in your opinion? Would do it again if you had the chance to?

And no Mike didn't cheat on me.

Guide to ghosts! Interview with a hilarious pontianiak and a pocong.

Not to be mistaken with Potong, the delicious ice cream.

The funny thing about this pic is that my roomie and I were looking for a place to grab food when I spotted this hot ass jock dude. I'm so silly I completely jumped in line behind him just to take this pic. We didn't even get food from that place. This beautiful ass doesn't really show well in this pic, but trust me. It was supple enough to beckon me from across the walkway. Click on the pic and you can see a little more clearly the outline of the white underwear. White on white? So fucking tantalizing. Hmm. I could be a top for him *grin*

In the airport a few weeks back coming from Atlantic City. Sweet little bulge, don't you think? Also, just found out about what is being touted as the Facebook of Big Dicks. Check the link - http://www.thelargecocksociety.com

25 Things About My Sexuality will be on summer vacation until September 10 or so.

(But you should still send in your lists in the meantime, and we'll start posting them again after we get back!)

I'm sitting at Chicago O'Hare Airport waiting for a flight to the edge of civilization. Actually it's a flight to LaCrosse, Wisconsin, where I will be picked up and driven to the edge of civilization. Tomorrow is the first day of the 2009 Great Sky Sesshin in Hokyoji monastery near Echizen, Minnesota. For the next eight days or so I will be inaccessible to Internet, cell phone and most other forms of communication with the outside world.

I heard that some people are deeply concerned about the forthcoming translation of Nagarjuna's Fundamental Wisdom of the Middle Way (aka MMK) by Gudo Nishijima as rewritten by me. That's so cute! You guys are funny!

When you look at Gudo's blog, what you're seeing is pretty much the raw material I had to work with. The book that's coming out from Monkfish is not that version. I had to have a lot of discussions with Nishijima Roshi, as well as sit around scratching my head and puzzling over his prose for many, many hours before arriving at the version we're publishing. Please don't worry your poor fevered brows that it's going to be a big long string of crazy Engrish. It won't. Haven't I said this about three times already?

I may publish the intro I wrote sometime prior to the book's release. But I'd need to get clear with Nishijima Roshi and the folks at Monk Fish before I do that. Translation is a funny thing. I used to be a translator and there is no way to translate even the most dirt simple stuff without interjecting your own interpretation. In fact the word "translation" is probably misleading. I don't think there is any such thing. It's all interpretation.

In the world of religious texts, one really good example is Baghavad Gita: As It Is by AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. This is reportedly the most widely read translation of Bhagavad Gita in the world. Yet it is a highly interpretive version of the text.

Still, who is to say it doesn't mean what Prabhupada said it meant? It certainly meant that to him.

I was personally very interested in discovering what Nagarjuna's Fundamental Wisdom of the Middle Way meant to Nishijima Roshi. I made it my task to try and convey the meaning he found in the text as clearly as I possibly could. If you want a standard interpretation that follows all of the established patterns, assumptions and prejudices of Sanskrit scholarship, there are other versions available. I see no reason that there ought to be one more of those. They do not interest me.

Whether the Nishijima version of Nagajuna's masterwork is "correct" in the eyes of the Sanskrit scholarship community is just not something I can even bring myself to care about. People keep trying to get me to care, though. And I swear to God I really have tried. Maybe I'm kind of retarded or autistic or something in that way. It's like when I used to tell the folks I mentored at the Summit County Board of Mental Retardation to zip up their pants or whatever and they just couldn't see the point at all. That's how I am. It's no use trying to get me to care because I just don't.

The big difference between Nishijima Roshi's MMK and the others I've read is that, once I got through all the Engrish, the Nishijima version actually spoke to me. The others did not. They were intermittently interesting and contained the occasional good idea. But they didn't move me. This one does.

Blah-blah-blah... Now even I'm getting bored with this discussion!

So anyway, after I get done in the backwoods of Minnesota I'm flying straight to Frankfurt, Germany (via Chicago again). After just under a week in Frankfurt I'm off to Finland. Then back to Germany. Then to England, and then to Japan. Yikes!

This will definitely be my last post for a week or so. Maybe longer than that. But I'll report here whenever I can.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I just got off the phone with Mickey X-Nelson, drummer of Zero Defex (0DFx). He reminded me that today is the 64th anniversary of the Hiroshima atomic bombing. I'd completely forgotten!

I'm leaving tomorrow to start my next world tour, so I don't have time to pay proper tribute. I'll just leave you with this video clip, that I'm sure everyone who reads this blog has already seen twenty times.

Let's hope no one ever drops another A-Bomb again...

Advertorial

It's no secret that I am in love with Adobe Photoshop. My whole entire internet image is based on Photoshop.

If I am forced to never use Photoshop again, I will never take another photo of my face.

(Fine, I am exaggerating. I know I do not photoshop my Photos of the Moment, but that's coz they are blurry shots and anyway I don't post many photos of myself there!)

I'd say that two of my favourite blog entries are centered around photoshop!

Here's the one where I photoshop various people to look better, and here's the one who where I photoshop the ugliest childhood photos of myself.





Anyway, loads of loads of you have asked me where to purchase Photoshop from. Well, this blog entry is gonna tell some of you REALLY good news!

Like it's so awesome that I won't even call this an advertorial. More like just spreading good news to everyone! Well, not everyone... But for all students and educators!

Creative Suite 4 contains:

* Dreamweaver CS4
* Flash CS4 Professional
* Photoshop CS4 Extended
* Illustrator CS4
* Fireworks CS4
* Acrobat 9 Pro
* Soundbooth CS4
* Contribute CS4
* Adobe Bridge CS4
* Adobe Device Central CS4
* Version Cue CS4

Many useful programs other than photoshop - like dreamweaver for building websites and flash for creating beautiful flash banners like my old site's header!

Adobe Acrobat Pro 9 is even cheaper at $39 only! Wow!

Students really do get the best deals, it's so unfair.

If you are interested, here are more details:

To be eligible to purchase the two mentioned products at the
special price, you will have to be either a full time student,
educator or staff in a Primary, Secondary, Independent schools,
International schools, Junior Colleges and NIE only.

Upon purchase, photocopy of the evidence of eligibility will have
to be collected.

That will either be their student pass, school pass
(for international schools or independent schools), Civil Service card
or Public Service card. On top of the evidence of eligibility, a
photocopied IC of authorized personnel (to collect on behalf of
eligible individual) will have to be collected.

Delivery charges are at $8 only! (Honestly what's $8 compared to the $840 bucks you save??) If you order more than 10 copies, the delivery charges are waived!





p/s: I am not using the student pack as I am not a student or a teacher. Just to clarify!