1. I do not have a memory of my life before I knew how to masturbate. I have been doing it almost daily since I was 3 years old and it has a) made it very hard for me to cum with someone else and b) given me a large sexual appetite.
2. I didn't cum laying on my back using my hands until I was 15.
3. When I was a small child I was touching myself and my mom told me "if you are gonna do that you have to go to your room, that's private." Apparently, I sprinted back to my room to check out what was going on.
4. I identify as a lesbian, but I plan on marrying my current boyfriend. No one has ever made me happier, even if he does have a penis.
5. I wouldn't say I'm directly attracted to women with dicks, but the idea of a beautiful woman with great tits fucking me with a real dick sounds pretty good.
6. At 18 years old, I can say I have had sex with 8 people. 5 men, 3 women. Only one of them was ever worth it.
7. When my boyfriend is eating me out, I'm thinking about giving him head. It makes me cum pretty hard.
8. I like to be pushed around, held down, tied up, blindfolded, handcuffed, spanked, told what to do and have my hair pulled. I don't see it as degrading. I'm strong and in charge all the time, when it comes to sex, I want them to call the shots.
9. I find nothing sexier on myself but the place where the curve of my hips and my back meet.
10. I don't remember what my vagina looks like with pubic hair on it. I've never liked it, so I shave it off. Sometimes I wish I could muster up the courage to just let it grow and be happy with it.
11. It took a year and a half of trying before my boyfriend made me cum on his own. I know the exact date. Best day of my life.
12. I can't masturbate on my own anymore. It takes too long and I get frustrated because I can't do it unless I think about my boyfriend or watch porn.
13. I have always fantasized about being fucked over a desk by a dominating boss figure. Nowadays it's my boyfriend; it used to be a busty redhead with glasses and an ass and legs that went on forever. Both fantasies started with them telling me to give them head.
14. I've tried anal a few times. Every time I think I'm ready to do it again, we get to that point and I remember how much I hate myself afterward. The first two times we tried it was fine. The first time was OK, the second time was better, but I don't know what we are doing wrong now.
15. I wish I could squirt. Reallyreallyreally. I hope one day when my boyfriend is eating me out he comes up with his face dripping. I will feel so powerful.
16. I've never cum from penetration. It's a goal.
17. One of my friends bought me a vibrator about 2 years ago. I threw it away recently--it is of no use to me.
18. I want to get my nipples pierced. My boobs aren't perfect, but I love piercings and I love my nipples.
19. I didn't have to come out to my parents. They asked me if I liked girls and I was kind of offended that they did so because they had been reading my files on the computer.
20. I love it when my boyfriend talks and moans when I give him head. The more he says the more I get into it. I wish he would just whisper/moan/tell me what to do the whole time I was down there, but he doesn't.
21. When we make love, I usually end up laughing out of sheer joy.
22. I like to get fucked up and have my boyfriend spank me as hard as possible. I love waking up with spotty purple bruises all over my backside.
23. Girls are so beautiful. I honestly can't remember a single man that I instantly thought "Man I'd like to fuck him" just because of what he looked like but with girls, oh yes. I want to fuck them, hard, everywhere.
24. Sometimes I wanna be the big spoon. My boyfriend is a foot taller than me and quite a bit wider but I still wanna wrap my little arms around him and curl my knees behind his bum and be big.
25. I hate myself when I can't make my boyfriend cum. I know it's not always my fault, but I feel like it is. Is my pussy not tight enough, am I not working hard enough, am I nothing special to look at? I know these things aren't true, but sometimes I feel that way.
1. I lost my virginity to a strap-on by a girl I was with for almost two years. We ended on a terribly bitter note, but I would never want to change that fact. I am so endlessly happy it was her.
2. The first guy I slept with was the 22-year-old (to my 17 years) whom my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. It was mind-blowing.
3. I'm a huge tease and I enjoy it far too much. I love whispering in ears at school or the mall, grazing thighs, just enough to get sex into someone's head in a place where sex is not a possibility.
4. Grade 8 was when I had my first real life girl crush (as apposed to celebrity). To this day we still talk, usually about sex. We've flirted with the idea of fucking a few times but it's never worked out. I really hope it does one day.
5. The summer after grade 9 I came out as gay. I went strong until grade 12, when I slept with a guy and decided I might not be so gay after all. I have no idea what to classify myself as, though some of my classmates like to push bisexual. I will always love women more, but there's something so secure and safe about being with a man that I don't want to let go of yet.
6. My first solid sexual experience was in grade 9 with my first girlfriend. We were caught, too, by my dad. It was so exciting and wonderful and passionate and terrifying.
7. I think about sex a lot. It crosses my mind so often, I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Whenever I go to spin class and do a particularly long and hard (haha!) endurance flat, I focus on sex to make the time pass. Sometimes it gives me an adrenaline rush.
8. When I was about 10 or 11 my parents bought me sex ed books, I suppose because I was curious. I pulled them out multiple times to have a giggle with my friends, and every now and then I would pull them out alone and read them. I felt naughty and experienced, like I knew more than my friends did.
9. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to sex, and even though I did stuff with a girl before I knew much of anything (it seemed to come fairly naturally), I had to watch videos on YouTube before doing anything with a guy. I even got tips from a friend before giving head. I'm glad I did, though. I think I was a lot better than he expected.
10. I used to read and write dirty fiction. I still read it, and I've even taken to buying a couple adult mangas. I also crave movies with sex in them. Generally, when I'm in the movie store, I want something involving sex, but there are so few movies that aren't porn (I don't find porn arousing) that actually have sex you see.
11. I hate shaving my pubes. I desperately want to like it, but I'm so terrified of cutting myself. I feel that because I don't shave, more people will be discouraged to have sex with me. I worry about it often. That being said, I don't mind when girls don't shave. In fact, I like it. It's natural and I like embracing exactly who they are. But I worry that when I go to pull a hair out of my mouth, they'll get discouraged. I'm not disgusted! I just really don't want it to be there anymore.
12. I love touching, and not necessarily in a sexual way. I do very much enjoy the touching of another's naked body, but even when people who I don't think of sexually touch the skin of my arm or my neck or shoulder I get tingly and don't want them to stop. Of course, I rarely voice this desire. But I often wish I had someone who was comfortable just gently touching my hair and neck and arms. In the same way I find people writing on me in pen arousing. But pen just looks so immature on skin. It's unfortunate, really.
13. My nipples are extremely sensitive. There isn't really anywhere else on my body that's sensitive, which is often upsetting as most girls I know have sensitive necks or legs or stomachs, but I'm just stuck with my nipples.
14. I secretly feel that people don't fully like me as a person unless they have a crush on me. This is horribly flawed thinking, and it leads me to try and entice many people whom I'm not actually interested in.
15. I've dated 3 people. I've fucked 5. I look up to people who have had sex with dozens upon dozens of people. I hope to be one of those people someday.
16. I don't have high standards for people I would sleep with. Even if I don't think someone is sexy, I would fuck them.
17. I've never had an orgasm. I long for one. Too many people have told me I need to have one.
18. I love love LOVE sexual tension. I love reading about it, writing about it, watching it on tv and experiencing it. I felt it very often around my best guy friend. If I feel enough sexual tension between myself and someone else, there doesn't even need to be any touching and I'm aroused. It's that simple.
19. I like dirty talk, although I guess I wouldn't call it dirty, because I hate that "pussy" and "dick" stuff. But I love nothing more than to whisper in someone's ear "I want to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk."
20. I hate when people use the term "making love". It's way too cheesy and I just think of Barry White. I often find myself using the word "fuck," and "sex" takes a backseat. Sometimes "fuck" feels degrading, but sometimes I want to feel degraded, like it's supposed to be something quick and dirty.
21. I feel awkward and uncomfortable talking about boobs with other people. I never know what to refer to them as. Breasts is too romance-novel-esque. Boobs is like a-beer-with-the-guys. Tits feels degrading, like a porno. I often call them breasticles in my head, because I think my dad used to jokingly call them that (awkward, I know). I still haven't decided what I like calling them, so I just try and avoid talking about them.
22. I hate it when guys (or girls for that matter) don't get how two girls can fuck. Or rather, not that they don't get it, but that they are unwilling to accept that it's actually fucking. That somehow a penis needs to be involved for it to actually count. I can understand their point of view, but they don't and will never understand the passion between two women and how it's completely comparable to a man and a woman.
23. Masturbating never works for me. I've tried multiple times at different ages in different places at varying levels of arousal. It never gets very far. I can't get past the fact that I'm touching myself. I need someone else to touch me.
24. I don't know what to consider it, but I do this thing (and have done it since I was 6) where I sort of cross my legs and rock back and forth on a chair. I did it hanging from a swing when I was younger. I think it's masturbating, because I think it hits my clit over and over and I've gotten extremely horny from doing it, but I've always been ashamed of having it as a "hobby" and because I can't explain what it is that I'm doing, I feel like people won't understand. When I really think about it, it's masturbating, and I can really enjoy it at times, but it's a very confusing thing that I do. I don't think I've ever actually told anyone about it.
25. Sometimes I worry that no one will find me as attractive as the girl I lost my virginity to. She was so passionate about her attraction to me. I feel like no one will be able to match it.
2. The first guy I slept with was the 22-year-old (to my 17 years) whom my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. It was mind-blowing.
3. I'm a huge tease and I enjoy it far too much. I love whispering in ears at school or the mall, grazing thighs, just enough to get sex into someone's head in a place where sex is not a possibility.
4. Grade 8 was when I had my first real life girl crush (as apposed to celebrity). To this day we still talk, usually about sex. We've flirted with the idea of fucking a few times but it's never worked out. I really hope it does one day.
5. The summer after grade 9 I came out as gay. I went strong until grade 12, when I slept with a guy and decided I might not be so gay after all. I have no idea what to classify myself as, though some of my classmates like to push bisexual. I will always love women more, but there's something so secure and safe about being with a man that I don't want to let go of yet.
6. My first solid sexual experience was in grade 9 with my first girlfriend. We were caught, too, by my dad. It was so exciting and wonderful and passionate and terrifying.
7. I think about sex a lot. It crosses my mind so often, I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Whenever I go to spin class and do a particularly long and hard (haha!) endurance flat, I focus on sex to make the time pass. Sometimes it gives me an adrenaline rush.
8. When I was about 10 or 11 my parents bought me sex ed books, I suppose because I was curious. I pulled them out multiple times to have a giggle with my friends, and every now and then I would pull them out alone and read them. I felt naughty and experienced, like I knew more than my friends did.
9. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to sex, and even though I did stuff with a girl before I knew much of anything (it seemed to come fairly naturally), I had to watch videos on YouTube before doing anything with a guy. I even got tips from a friend before giving head. I'm glad I did, though. I think I was a lot better than he expected.
10. I used to read and write dirty fiction. I still read it, and I've even taken to buying a couple adult mangas. I also crave movies with sex in them. Generally, when I'm in the movie store, I want something involving sex, but there are so few movies that aren't porn (I don't find porn arousing) that actually have sex you see.
11. I hate shaving my pubes. I desperately want to like it, but I'm so terrified of cutting myself. I feel that because I don't shave, more people will be discouraged to have sex with me. I worry about it often. That being said, I don't mind when girls don't shave. In fact, I like it. It's natural and I like embracing exactly who they are. But I worry that when I go to pull a hair out of my mouth, they'll get discouraged. I'm not disgusted! I just really don't want it to be there anymore.
12. I love touching, and not necessarily in a sexual way. I do very much enjoy the touching of another's naked body, but even when people who I don't think of sexually touch the skin of my arm or my neck or shoulder I get tingly and don't want them to stop. Of course, I rarely voice this desire. But I often wish I had someone who was comfortable just gently touching my hair and neck and arms. In the same way I find people writing on me in pen arousing. But pen just looks so immature on skin. It's unfortunate, really.
13. My nipples are extremely sensitive. There isn't really anywhere else on my body that's sensitive, which is often upsetting as most girls I know have sensitive necks or legs or stomachs, but I'm just stuck with my nipples.
14. I secretly feel that people don't fully like me as a person unless they have a crush on me. This is horribly flawed thinking, and it leads me to try and entice many people whom I'm not actually interested in.
15. I've dated 3 people. I've fucked 5. I look up to people who have had sex with dozens upon dozens of people. I hope to be one of those people someday.
16. I don't have high standards for people I would sleep with. Even if I don't think someone is sexy, I would fuck them.
17. I've never had an orgasm. I long for one. Too many people have told me I need to have one.
18. I love love LOVE sexual tension. I love reading about it, writing about it, watching it on tv and experiencing it. I felt it very often around my best guy friend. If I feel enough sexual tension between myself and someone else, there doesn't even need to be any touching and I'm aroused. It's that simple.
19. I like dirty talk, although I guess I wouldn't call it dirty, because I hate that "pussy" and "dick" stuff. But I love nothing more than to whisper in someone's ear "I want to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk."
20. I hate when people use the term "making love". It's way too cheesy and I just think of Barry White. I often find myself using the word "fuck," and "sex" takes a backseat. Sometimes "fuck" feels degrading, but sometimes I want to feel degraded, like it's supposed to be something quick and dirty.
21. I feel awkward and uncomfortable talking about boobs with other people. I never know what to refer to them as. Breasts is too romance-novel-esque. Boobs is like a-beer-with-the-guys. Tits feels degrading, like a porno. I often call them breasticles in my head, because I think my dad used to jokingly call them that (awkward, I know). I still haven't decided what I like calling them, so I just try and avoid talking about them.
22. I hate it when guys (or girls for that matter) don't get how two girls can fuck. Or rather, not that they don't get it, but that they are unwilling to accept that it's actually fucking. That somehow a penis needs to be involved for it to actually count. I can understand their point of view, but they don't and will never understand the passion between two women and how it's completely comparable to a man and a woman.
23. Masturbating never works for me. I've tried multiple times at different ages in different places at varying levels of arousal. It never gets very far. I can't get past the fact that I'm touching myself. I need someone else to touch me.
24. I don't know what to consider it, but I do this thing (and have done it since I was 6) where I sort of cross my legs and rock back and forth on a chair. I did it hanging from a swing when I was younger. I think it's masturbating, because I think it hits my clit over and over and I've gotten extremely horny from doing it, but I've always been ashamed of having it as a "hobby" and because I can't explain what it is that I'm doing, I feel like people won't understand. When I really think about it, it's masturbating, and I can really enjoy it at times, but it's a very confusing thing that I do. I don't think I've ever actually told anyone about it.
25. Sometimes I worry that no one will find me as attractive as the girl I lost my virginity to. She was so passionate about her attraction to me. I feel like no one will be able to match it.
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1. I cannot think of the last time I went more than a day without masturbating. Ever since I first discovered the joy of self-love, I have always found the time to do it.
2. I have masturbated in other people’s beds, with other people in the room (while sleeping) and even while sharing a tent without anybody knowing it was happening (as far as I know).
3. My first kiss was when I was 15. I had been waiting for it to happen for a while, and when it finally did, it was a huge relief off my shoulders.
4. I am a voyeur of both men and women. I feel lucky that I can sneak a peek in the shower at the gym. The sauna is a great place for this.
5. I love being naked. If no one is home, walking around naked is quite freeing. I have always thought about going to a public place to be naked (nude beaches) but don’t know if I would actually do it. The act of going is more difficult than actually stripping down, I think.
6. I am a commitment-phobe and have never committed to any serious relationship. I feel I can draw a lot of people in without actually making a move, and in the end, this is detrimental because I get seen as a tease.
7. The voyeur fetish goes both ways. I think I enjoy being watched as well. If I were ever watched having sex or touching myself, I would be extremely turned on.
8. I recently found out that the male orgasm is something different from “cumming.” The orgasm is actually an enhanced feeling of sexual pleasure, and the best way to describe it is when that feeling occurs under circumstances when everything is “perfect" I know this feeling but never made the connection – I just thought it was really good. Ever since, I have concentrated to hard at making it “really good” and hope I haven’t ruined my chances of it happening ever again.
9. I often masturbate to pornography, but more often than not turn to my own fantasies right before I finish.
10. I lost my virginity in a threesome. Often I feel like this will be hard to top. I also feel like I would have preferred it to happen later in my sexual maturity to improve the quality. However, it is stories like these that make this fun to tell.
11. I had my first wet dream when I was 11. It took me having seen a television show weeks later before I understood what had happened.
12. A similar television show as mentioned in #11 showed different masturbation techniques. I used a banana peel to masturbate for the first time when I was 12 in the shower. It was explosive and I still remember it as being one of the top 10 sessions I’ve ever had.
13. I have never taken anyone’s virginity. I feel like if I were ever to do that, there would be too many attachment feelings. I also feel uneducated in what it is like "popping someone’s cherry." I think it would be messy…
14. I’ve made out with a girl at the bar in return for a drink. I wish I could take that moment back. From an outsider’s perspective, I think it looked really messy on top of it seeming rude.
15. I am attracted to women who dominate. Someone who can take control of a situation turns me on. I have also never had rough sex but feel like I would be in my prime if I did.
16. During sex, women who are vocal will make the sex 10 times better. This includes moaning, screaming, repeating phrases of euphoria, etc.
17. When I was 13, I entered an adult chat room and role-played with someone I had never met. I never returned to the chat room and only half understood what was actually going on. The other person initiated the conversation and asked to role play. I offered Jack and the Beanstalk (I’m laughing remembering this), but we ended up playing doctor and nurse.
18. Oral sex is another turn on of mine. I enjoy both giving and receiving. Thinking of going down on a woman makes me extremely sexual.
19. I have never had sex sober. I am only 19 years old.
20. I often find it difficult to “seal the deal” when looking to hook up. I don’t think I have the confidence to approach, and if I do, I can’t finish.
21. I would love to make a girl squirt. Even if I was not inside her, if I saw it happen, I would instantly cum.
22. Nipple play intrigues me. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it isn’t. I think you need to have the right touch in order for it to be worthwhile. I usually enjoy touching and sucking nipples as a part of foreplay, but have never received this attention, except for one time at a party when a male friend was being friendly and played with one of my nipples for about 3 minutes. It was extremely enjoyable and I wish I received this kind of attention more often.
23. I would love to have sex with someone I crave, or am crazy for in that moment. This might seem common, but I have never had sex with anyone I had strong feelings for.
24. I feel like I do not have enough sex to satisfy my needs.
25. I have in the past, during very open, social settings, bragged about my sexual encounters when none of them were true. I spoke of things that I would love to do or had seen in porn. I often think of these times and use them as a checklist.
2. I have masturbated in other people’s beds, with other people in the room (while sleeping) and even while sharing a tent without anybody knowing it was happening (as far as I know).
3. My first kiss was when I was 15. I had been waiting for it to happen for a while, and when it finally did, it was a huge relief off my shoulders.
4. I am a voyeur of both men and women. I feel lucky that I can sneak a peek in the shower at the gym. The sauna is a great place for this.
5. I love being naked. If no one is home, walking around naked is quite freeing. I have always thought about going to a public place to be naked (nude beaches) but don’t know if I would actually do it. The act of going is more difficult than actually stripping down, I think.
6. I am a commitment-phobe and have never committed to any serious relationship. I feel I can draw a lot of people in without actually making a move, and in the end, this is detrimental because I get seen as a tease.
7. The voyeur fetish goes both ways. I think I enjoy being watched as well. If I were ever watched having sex or touching myself, I would be extremely turned on.
8. I recently found out that the male orgasm is something different from “cumming.” The orgasm is actually an enhanced feeling of sexual pleasure, and the best way to describe it is when that feeling occurs under circumstances when everything is “perfect" I know this feeling but never made the connection – I just thought it was really good. Ever since, I have concentrated to hard at making it “really good” and hope I haven’t ruined my chances of it happening ever again.
9. I often masturbate to pornography, but more often than not turn to my own fantasies right before I finish.
10. I lost my virginity in a threesome. Often I feel like this will be hard to top. I also feel like I would have preferred it to happen later in my sexual maturity to improve the quality. However, it is stories like these that make this fun to tell.
11. I had my first wet dream when I was 11. It took me having seen a television show weeks later before I understood what had happened.
12. A similar television show as mentioned in #11 showed different masturbation techniques. I used a banana peel to masturbate for the first time when I was 12 in the shower. It was explosive and I still remember it as being one of the top 10 sessions I’ve ever had.
13. I have never taken anyone’s virginity. I feel like if I were ever to do that, there would be too many attachment feelings. I also feel uneducated in what it is like "popping someone’s cherry." I think it would be messy…
14. I’ve made out with a girl at the bar in return for a drink. I wish I could take that moment back. From an outsider’s perspective, I think it looked really messy on top of it seeming rude.
15. I am attracted to women who dominate. Someone who can take control of a situation turns me on. I have also never had rough sex but feel like I would be in my prime if I did.
16. During sex, women who are vocal will make the sex 10 times better. This includes moaning, screaming, repeating phrases of euphoria, etc.
17. When I was 13, I entered an adult chat room and role-played with someone I had never met. I never returned to the chat room and only half understood what was actually going on. The other person initiated the conversation and asked to role play. I offered Jack and the Beanstalk (I’m laughing remembering this), but we ended up playing doctor and nurse.
18. Oral sex is another turn on of mine. I enjoy both giving and receiving. Thinking of going down on a woman makes me extremely sexual.
19. I have never had sex sober. I am only 19 years old.
20. I often find it difficult to “seal the deal” when looking to hook up. I don’t think I have the confidence to approach, and if I do, I can’t finish.
21. I would love to make a girl squirt. Even if I was not inside her, if I saw it happen, I would instantly cum.
22. Nipple play intrigues me. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it isn’t. I think you need to have the right touch in order for it to be worthwhile. I usually enjoy touching and sucking nipples as a part of foreplay, but have never received this attention, except for one time at a party when a male friend was being friendly and played with one of my nipples for about 3 minutes. It was extremely enjoyable and I wish I received this kind of attention more often.
23. I would love to have sex with someone I crave, or am crazy for in that moment. This might seem common, but I have never had sex with anyone I had strong feelings for.
24. I feel like I do not have enough sex to satisfy my needs.
25. I have in the past, during very open, social settings, bragged about my sexual encounters when none of them were true. I spoke of things that I would love to do or had seen in porn. I often think of these times and use them as a checklist.
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1. I am a man in my 80s keeping my sex-life active with Testovirone and Viagra. All my life women and sex have been very important. After the age of 30, I became reasonably successful in making contacts (and still am). My present partner is a woman 28 years my junior.
2. I grew up in a religious family as first-born among six children. Sexuality was never mentioned although we knew that “fucking” existed. I still remember when my sister and I realized that intercourse was the way children were made. “Then Mother and Father must have done it. Six times!”
3. Since early puberty I have fantasized about seeing girls/women being spanked. Usually with birch twigs (“ris”), once the standard implement in Sweden where I live, and always on their naked buttocks. This made me very excited long before I connected it with sexuality.
4. I vaguely remember getting spanked myself as no big deal. But the sounds of two of my sisters being chastised with the birch in Father’s room are very clear to me. I listened with choking excitement. On one occasion the eldest secretly took down her panties afterwards and showed her red stripes.
5. At age 13 I had a secret crush on a blonde girl a year older but was hopelessly shy and couldn’t make contact. To this day I remember her lovely appearance in a cotton summer dress. She will obviously be with me till I die.
6. At age 16-17 I was going steady with a girl from the same church but we were both shy and inhibited. Just kisses, never anything under the clothes. I only remember her face and full lips. I never even thought about her naked.
7. I was 19 before I found out how to masturbate properly with an erect penis. Ejaculation was associated with vivid images of fast cars. In early puberty I sort of orgasmed by squeezing my testicles between my thighs, and at first I didn’t even understand that this was something to be done in private.
8. Looking back, I think religion and a God that frowns on sexuality are harmful visions to imprint in children. At the same time, a touch of forbidden fruit gives sex a special attraction. I don’t know if I really would have been better off knowing everything from early age, seeing all sorts of sexual antics on the net.
9. As student in a Teachers College I had a long relationship with a classmate from a Pentecostal background. She was even more inhibited and we were never naked together. During long nights in her room I could stroke her breasts and buttocks but penetrative sex was out of the question. Before I went home in the mornings she would jerk me off lying behind my back while I collected the ejaculate in my handkerchief to be disposed of privately.
10. I have always been exclusively interested in girls/women, never boys. Slightly homophobic. Men can have all the rights they want, marry in church and whatever, but male homosexuality makes me shudder. Lesbian sex is a different thing and I would have liked to participate and/or watch.
11. I was married 28 years to the Pentecostal girl. Our sex life never got any better and I don’t believe she ever had an orgasm. God was always looking over her shoulder. Why we never divorced I can’t explain. Misdirected loyalty, similar interests in culture, music, theater. Big house at a status address. No children before she died after six years with ovarian cancer at the age of 57.
12. During our marriage I had my sex on the side. Something I am glad for today, otherwise my mature years would have been a long trail in the erotic desert. From old photos I see that I was reasonably handsome, but I won my victories by being pleasant and intelligent with a touch of edge. This was in the 1960s when women threw away their bras and the concept “fucking for friendship” appeared. AIDS had not arrived and sex without condom was the norm. Nevertheless I never had an STD to this day.
13. I love the female animal (person, individual, whatever) and prefer women to men in all circumstances. Socially, as friends, working partners, crewing on my (then) yacht in Greece. Just a hint of a sexual invitation and I take it. But I never beg.
14. Rape no, but forced finalization of a once started fuck has been known to happen.
15. I am never jealous, nor afraid of comparisons. My dick is average, my physical status also; my brain and erotic drive above average. Whatever a woman has taken willingly in her mouth,cunt or ass is no great matter to me. Rather, I find women quite lovely when they talk about their escapades.
16. I have been to prostitutes in Thailand and Spain and enjoyed the experiences. Wouldn’t mind one now and again, but it is such a bother in Sweden where I live. Against the law, actually.
17. I love giving oral, including ass kissing and tongue. The female curves in that part of her body, the smell and mist of pheromones really give me a kick.
18. Vaginal fucking from behind is lovely and makes me feel that cunt and cock were made for each other. Virgin olive oil on the cock before penetration is better than most lubes.
19. In terms of lust, ass-fucking is a step up. The shared intimacy and humiliation (yes please) are very exciting. To me a woman’s anus is one of the last barriers to conquer.
20. In the 1970s, as an academic teacher, I met a female student from another university. She was 15 years younger, and we started a long history of sex and love. We became closely bonded when we found a mutual interest in spanking as an entrée to fucking. We were out sailing and she really defied me. Before she knew, she was across my lap with her jeans and panties down being hand-spanked in front of the whole archipelago. (I am sure it was intentional.) She used to store the birch switches worn out on her buttocks in an old suitcase, and at intervals we took them out for ritual burning. For my 50th birthday she gave me a riding crop of the worst kind, long and supple, made of nylon. She never hesitated to take it.
21. Women new to spanking will go to great lengths to get one. Long periods of cyber-contact, careful planning of the event, sometimes long travel to a meeting point. The duty for her to collect the implement, such as birch twigs, can be exceptionally arousing. As far as I gathered, the event is best compared to the woman losing her virginity and should not be done carelessly. During my roving years I often brought champagne.
22. As long as the rush continues (days, weeks), a command for the novice to lift her skirt and bend over may be enough to cause an orgasm.
23. Spanking contacts are far from one-night-stands. The special quality of the meetings creates a special bonding. Afterwards, whenever your eyes meet across a crowded room, your hearts leap.
24. Believe it or not, the basic emotions in spanking sessions are fondness and consideration for the “victim’s” enjoyment and satisfaction.
25. The fact that my present partner and I are going on our sixth year together is evidence of that. Without reservations we see our mutual feelings as love of the durable kind.
2. I grew up in a religious family as first-born among six children. Sexuality was never mentioned although we knew that “fucking” existed. I still remember when my sister and I realized that intercourse was the way children were made. “Then Mother and Father must have done it. Six times!”
3. Since early puberty I have fantasized about seeing girls/women being spanked. Usually with birch twigs (“ris”), once the standard implement in Sweden where I live, and always on their naked buttocks. This made me very excited long before I connected it with sexuality.
4. I vaguely remember getting spanked myself as no big deal. But the sounds of two of my sisters being chastised with the birch in Father’s room are very clear to me. I listened with choking excitement. On one occasion the eldest secretly took down her panties afterwards and showed her red stripes.
5. At age 13 I had a secret crush on a blonde girl a year older but was hopelessly shy and couldn’t make contact. To this day I remember her lovely appearance in a cotton summer dress. She will obviously be with me till I die.
6. At age 16-17 I was going steady with a girl from the same church but we were both shy and inhibited. Just kisses, never anything under the clothes. I only remember her face and full lips. I never even thought about her naked.
7. I was 19 before I found out how to masturbate properly with an erect penis. Ejaculation was associated with vivid images of fast cars. In early puberty I sort of orgasmed by squeezing my testicles between my thighs, and at first I didn’t even understand that this was something to be done in private.
8. Looking back, I think religion and a God that frowns on sexuality are harmful visions to imprint in children. At the same time, a touch of forbidden fruit gives sex a special attraction. I don’t know if I really would have been better off knowing everything from early age, seeing all sorts of sexual antics on the net.
9. As student in a Teachers College I had a long relationship with a classmate from a Pentecostal background. She was even more inhibited and we were never naked together. During long nights in her room I could stroke her breasts and buttocks but penetrative sex was out of the question. Before I went home in the mornings she would jerk me off lying behind my back while I collected the ejaculate in my handkerchief to be disposed of privately.
10. I have always been exclusively interested in girls/women, never boys. Slightly homophobic. Men can have all the rights they want, marry in church and whatever, but male homosexuality makes me shudder. Lesbian sex is a different thing and I would have liked to participate and/or watch.
11. I was married 28 years to the Pentecostal girl. Our sex life never got any better and I don’t believe she ever had an orgasm. God was always looking over her shoulder. Why we never divorced I can’t explain. Misdirected loyalty, similar interests in culture, music, theater. Big house at a status address. No children before she died after six years with ovarian cancer at the age of 57.
12. During our marriage I had my sex on the side. Something I am glad for today, otherwise my mature years would have been a long trail in the erotic desert. From old photos I see that I was reasonably handsome, but I won my victories by being pleasant and intelligent with a touch of edge. This was in the 1960s when women threw away their bras and the concept “fucking for friendship” appeared. AIDS had not arrived and sex without condom was the norm. Nevertheless I never had an STD to this day.
13. I love the female animal (person, individual, whatever) and prefer women to men in all circumstances. Socially, as friends, working partners, crewing on my (then) yacht in Greece. Just a hint of a sexual invitation and I take it. But I never beg.
14. Rape no, but forced finalization of a once started fuck has been known to happen.
15. I am never jealous, nor afraid of comparisons. My dick is average, my physical status also; my brain and erotic drive above average. Whatever a woman has taken willingly in her mouth,cunt or ass is no great matter to me. Rather, I find women quite lovely when they talk about their escapades.
16. I have been to prostitutes in Thailand and Spain and enjoyed the experiences. Wouldn’t mind one now and again, but it is such a bother in Sweden where I live. Against the law, actually.
17. I love giving oral, including ass kissing and tongue. The female curves in that part of her body, the smell and mist of pheromones really give me a kick.
18. Vaginal fucking from behind is lovely and makes me feel that cunt and cock were made for each other. Virgin olive oil on the cock before penetration is better than most lubes.
19. In terms of lust, ass-fucking is a step up. The shared intimacy and humiliation (yes please) are very exciting. To me a woman’s anus is one of the last barriers to conquer.
20. In the 1970s, as an academic teacher, I met a female student from another university. She was 15 years younger, and we started a long history of sex and love. We became closely bonded when we found a mutual interest in spanking as an entrée to fucking. We were out sailing and she really defied me. Before she knew, she was across my lap with her jeans and panties down being hand-spanked in front of the whole archipelago. (I am sure it was intentional.) She used to store the birch switches worn out on her buttocks in an old suitcase, and at intervals we took them out for ritual burning. For my 50th birthday she gave me a riding crop of the worst kind, long and supple, made of nylon. She never hesitated to take it.
21. Women new to spanking will go to great lengths to get one. Long periods of cyber-contact, careful planning of the event, sometimes long travel to a meeting point. The duty for her to collect the implement, such as birch twigs, can be exceptionally arousing. As far as I gathered, the event is best compared to the woman losing her virginity and should not be done carelessly. During my roving years I often brought champagne.
22. As long as the rush continues (days, weeks), a command for the novice to lift her skirt and bend over may be enough to cause an orgasm.
23. Spanking contacts are far from one-night-stands. The special quality of the meetings creates a special bonding. Afterwards, whenever your eyes meet across a crowded room, your hearts leap.
24. Believe it or not, the basic emotions in spanking sessions are fondness and consideration for the “victim’s” enjoyment and satisfaction.
25. The fact that my present partner and I are going on our sixth year together is evidence of that. Without reservations we see our mutual feelings as love of the durable kind.
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You asked for it! You got it! New videos of the comedy team of Brad and Skylar!
For those of you who don't tune in regularly, Skylar is my niece, the daughter of my younger sister. A couple years ago Skylar did an interview with me that she posted on YouTube, which still gets more hits than anything but my interview with Sock Monkey. High brow entertainment is my middle name!
The one posted on top was just improvised. The "Pickle Monster" thing below was conceived by Skylar. I'm not sure why the sound on that one doesn't synch up with the video. But given the nature of the piece it kind of works better that way.
Skyy, for that is how she spells it, created these and had them up on YouTube within seconds, as only a 13 year old is able. There are a few more up there if you're into that kind of thing. But these are the ones that turned out the best.
All of you in the Midwest are hereby ordered to attend my upcoming gigs in St. Paul and Minneapolis starting this coming Friday. The dates and locations are at this link (click here). If you live within a ten hour drive of the Twin Cities and you fail to show up you will be re-born as a slug for 10,000 lifetimes. Are you prepared to take that risk?
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Today I got one of the weirdest FB message from one of the weirdest people I've ever heard from:
Because you are obviously bonkers.
And you don't use 's correctly.
I don't understand why she has to keep asking me how Disneyland was. Is it that important? It's all on my fucking blog wtf.
p/s: No, I don't know Crystal Siew at all, ok? That's why it's funny, coz she (Miu) is so random!
p/p/s: What's all this about me being MEAN?? I mosaic-ed her face and name what! Not like anyone knows who this is... WTF. State opinion about an unknown person also cannot??
Because you are obviously bonkers.
And you don't use 's correctly.
I don't understand why she has to keep asking me how Disneyland was. Is it that important? It's all on my fucking blog wtf.
p/s: No, I don't know Crystal Siew at all, ok? That's why it's funny, coz she (Miu) is so random!
p/p/s: What's all this about me being MEAN?? I mosaic-ed her face and name what! Not like anyone knows who this is... WTF. State opinion about an unknown person also cannot??
UPDATE: OMG! So many of your moralistic fucksticks reading me! Yabbering this and that about how old this chick and is all... Listen: WHO GIVES A FUCK WHETHER SHE IS 6 or 60??
The point is I didn't state her name or post her photo!
For all you know she could be a fictional character I created... Then you'd feel really stupid now, won't you??
And besides, when I posted this, I didn't even click on her profile. I didn't know how old she was, but even if I did, I doubt it would have changed a single thing.
It beats the hell out of me how so many of you saints managed to find her fb profile.
Fucking ironic too, if you ask me.
If this annoys you, if you think that I'm abusing my 'power' and that I'm mean-spirited, you know what to do don't you?
STOP FUCKING READING MY BLOG!
But instead, there you are, reading, commenting, and even going on fb to search for this chick's fb profile and nitpicking shit. Ridiculous.
And some of you are pitying this supposedly poor girl. Save your condescending sympathy. There are much sadder beings out there than a girl who was called bonkers by a blogger she pestered, ok?? And since when did you care so much? Go channel your energies to consoling people whose families died in natural disasters can?
There are over 3 billion blogs out there... Surely there are a few that are up to your high moralistic standards. So go read those, and stop trying to change me or tell me what to do. It's not gonna work.
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Yesterday, went to NYC for a film audition and think I represented pretty well for a few reasons: I was the only one in my group to get the note to keep doing what I was doing and I was asked to read several times for the same character. Nice! Following that, I headed over to my favorite video store in Chelsea. I can never seem to remember the name or exact location. Seriously, I was only in there about a solid hour, if that - just wanted to be back home. It didn't look like anything was going to happen, at first. No one was there I found attractive, but it didn't take long before someone caught my eye. The first guy was white, tall, bearded, youngish, stocky, cute and dressed in what looked like afterwork clothes. We each took a booth next to each other and he sucked me through the hole.
It never ceases to amaze me how same-sex sex has to be negotiated. lol. Even though the whole complicated handkerchief thing predates my generation, they were really on to something. You knew right away what everybody was into: top/bottom, pisser/pissee, fister/fistee, etc. I mention this because I think I would've liked to suck this dude, but never got the chance because he was on his knees faster than a kid bobbing for apples at the fair. And by kid, I mean me. And by apples, I mean dicks. And by the fair, I mean the video store. I hadn't cum in a few days, was super hard and really enjoying his skills. Everything was going fine until he turned his ass around to the hole and I went in. When I pulled back, my dick was no longer clean. Uggh! I cleaned it off with paper, then his stupid ass looks through the hole like he's going to get more dick. Uh nuh uh. I asked if he had anything to clean up with. He said he didn't. My very clear response, "then I think we're done." He got out of the other booth so fast, it was like he was never there. He even left the downstairs area. Good riddance. I then had to leave as well to clean up.
Guys, if you're going to get fucked or even think it might be a possibility, handle your business. We all know what the asshole is for. We have conservative, right wing, homophobic numbskulls telling us it's for exit only. However, when properly cleaned and stroked/manipulated, we know it's also a source of incredible pleasure. But you've got to clean it to play with it. Unless of course you're into the brown, which I'm not. I left to get the key to the bathroom to clean up. When I came through the curtains that divide that entire downstairs play area, I saw the rear end of the Shit Monster at the top of the stairs just rounding the corner into the other play area. That one is not as good. It's pay-as-you go and you're not allowed the same freedom to share booths and do whatever because you're constantly under scrutiny by the staff. Needless to say, I've never wasted my time up there. but I did want to yell up the steps, "watch out for that one! He's cute, but don't try to fuck him!" When I got back in the room, there was an older, slim white guy in the back just standing stroking his dick. I entered the booth next to him and got another blow job. At least this dude let me suck him back after a few minutes. I was surprised how big his knob was. It didn't look that big before. I was so hungry for it I definitely went to town on that dick. He actually had to pull off because he was so close. We swapped back and forth through the hole until he asked me to come into his booth. I complied. We kissed more, did a little stroking and put on a show for whoever the stroker was who entered the booth I'd just left.
Finally, dude gave up the nutt after holding my head and attempting to pound through the other side of my neck. It didn't matter though because I was right there with him taking it. I stood up and shot my load on the floor just in front of the hole so the guy could see the long strands of DNA oozing then hanging from my big brown dick. I heard him moan an approval. lol. I also noticed that the guy in the booth with me was wearing a very thin wedding band. You know, I like that thin style of band. It says, "yeah I'm married, but I'm not a fanatic about it." lol JUST KIDDING. JUST KIDDING!
I know I'm weighing a little heavily on Ye Olde Xtube this entry, but bear with me. There are lots of great clips on this site. Hopefully, I'll post there one day soon. Maverickman22, the 2nd clip below, is someone I used to hook with. He's the gray-haired guy. Damn, I want a bf this hot. Oh well, gotta be it to get it. So I'm back in the gym *grin*
http://www.privatehomeclips.com/members/movie/i4372/Hot+Girlfriend+Creams+On+My+Cock.html
http://video2.xtube.com/watch.php?v_user_id=maverickman22&idx=7&v=HlZ1z-G734-&cl=yxIvr-G734-&from=&ver=3&ccaa=1&qid=&qidx=&qnum=&preview_flag=
http://video2.xtube.com/watch.php?v_user_id=sarado3011&idx=7&v=6eEeg-G535-&cl=B3f4g-G535-&from=&ver=3&ccaa=1&qid=&qidx=&qnum=&preview_flag=
http://video2.xtube.com/watch.php?v_user_id=celebrityskin08&idx=5&v=M0Q69-C421-&cl=EKtt0-C421-&from=&ver=3&ccaa=1&qid=&qidx=&qnum=&preview_flag=
http://video2.xtube.com/community/profile.php?user=realstr8dudes
http://video2.xtube.com/community/profile.php?user=Libertine7
http://www.c1r.com/vod/category/pre-condom?s=1&p=4&w=40051680&t=0&c=210&cs=0&keyword=pre-condom&skip_overlay=1&console=1&original_program=4&program=4&ref=263848&referrer=263848&site=1&webmaster=40051680&ipv4=1271119271&tour=0&campaign=210&ip=75.195.189.167
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OK. My sister and her kids are due here any minute. So this will very likely be my last post for a while.So far, so good on the first 20 hrs. or so of having the comments section back. I was intrigued by one of the first ones to appear. An anonymous commenter said:
Brad, good to see you Back.
Still seems like you carry a lot of grudges and revenge about a lot of stuff for someone who is supposed to have been practicing Zen.
I guess you don't seem like someone to respect or look up to. Isn't that kind of the least you would want in any kind of Buddhist teacher?
It's an interesting question. I'm not sure if I "carry a lot of grudges and revenge." I honestly don't think I have any at all. If I seem to it's probably because I'm still poor at communicating what I really think and feel.
But that's not the point I'm interested in. It's the idea that I don't seem like someone to respect or look up to, and of this being what one would want from a Buddhist teacher.
I don't think so.
I mean, I suppose I do respect Tim and Nishijima Roshi. But I can't say I ever looked up to them. At least not in the usual sense. I didn't consider them as role models. Not exactly.
I could see that they had found a way to negotiate this life for themselves that was uniquely their own. They had a rare sort of balance that was often demonstrated in ways that surprised me. I remember seeing Nishijima Roshi get boiling mad at someone who lived in his dojo, and yet he did it in a completely balanced way.
But remember I knew these men personally. I sat with them. I ate lunch with them. I watched bad TV shows with them (well, at least with Tim). They were not known to me as a series of sentences typed on a computer screen or videos on YouTube.
You don't get me in my role as a Buddhist teacher here on this blog or in my books. You get me writing about that role. And that's a whole different thing.
Be that as it may, this question seems to relate to the old saw: "How can I recognize a real teacher?" I've been trying to find a way to answer this one forever. I'm not even trying to claim I am the embodiment of a "real teacher." I can't recognize myself as that. I have no idea if I am or not. I never will. Because it's impossible for anyone to make that judgment about themselves.
But I can say with absolute certainty that my teachers were the real deal. And I seem to have recognized that. But how? It was a feeling more than any line of intellectual reasoning that could be explained. I'll keep working on this and maybe I'll be able to say one of these days.
****
I had a funny dream last night. In it, it seemed that my unconscious mind was trying to explain to my conscious mind how it saw Zen practice. Weird, huh? Anyway, the one thing I recall my unconscious mind saying was, "Sometimes the brain just has to dry out a little." Meaning, I guess, that thoughts were like a contamination in the brain and that doing zazen allowed them to sort of "dry up" and cease to be a problem.
Gotta go now!
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A NEW CHALLENGE FOR ALL ODESSIANS
The black prince challenge is to find all nine combination vaults that are on different Odessa blogs.On the side panel of this black prince challenge blog you will see a password and this password is the master password and will open all nine combination vaults.In each of the combination vaults you will find a number or symbol inside it and this number or symbol is part of the nine digit password to the Black Prince tomb Combination vault.Once you have all nine digits keep trying your luck in the black prince tomb combination vault on the side panel of this blog.If your team is lucky and you enter the right password you will see how to get to the black prince vault once you enter your password. Please share what you find with your other friends in your team on the black prince noticeboard.
Good luck to you all and may you have lots of fun during this challenge.I hope you do as my life wont be worth living once you all have kicked me around the room.
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Thanks to Disneyland Hong Kong for sponsoring this super fun trip for us bloggers!
Well, they are not vetting or paying for this so I guess this is a normal post and not an advert! :D
To start with... THIS TRIP WAS SUPER FUN!!!!!!!!!!!
Like everyone said it was so enjoyable!
In fact, I don't remember the last time I went to Disneyland, in LA, as being even CLOSE to this fun! (Post here)
DEFINITELY one of my best holidays...
I guess it's coz of the company... Everyone was nice, funny, and I especially LOVE the girl bloggers coz they are all so vain, camwhorish and bimbotic! Like me!! HAHAHA
Ok lah I guess Estee, Ming's girlfriend, is the mature one but the rest of the girls are all decidedly childish (I mean that in a good way), even Redmummy who is a mother of 2!! LOL
Us girls were being so frivolous wearing Disney merchandise and shopping and snapping like SHITLOADS of photos...
We went to Hongkong for 2.5 days and Day 1 and 2 were for exploring Disneyland... Day 2's night and Day 3 were for SHOPPING!
It was mad awesome.
About 200 photos so I'm splitting the post into 2 days...
Touch down at Hongkong's airport... Can you spot my luggage?
Mike panicking while waiting for his
With the SG bloggers Ming and Estee
In the cab
I snapped this shot and I told everyone I'm going to caption it "In the cab". They all agreed it's a snappy caption and that I put loads of effort into blogging.
Reached Disneyland Hotel!!!
LOVE IT! The place is decorated rather old-school Victorian style... Classy and grand but not too stuffy. And you know... With cartoons!
Put down our luggage and went for lunch with the Msian bloggers...
Ketchup Mickey kinda looks like boobs
There they are, already snapping shots!!
From left: Redmummy, Cheesie, Audrey and Tim (holding cam).
Bloggers very competitive one ok everything also must snap photos of!
Ming and Estee pondering over what to eat
Cute kids are everywhere!
Here are the girls' food
I just ordered fries with what looks like freshly whipped homemade mayo! Yums
Cheesie and Audrey camwhoring with my camera!
Decorations in Xmas themes
Our receptionist
And here's our room!!
There's two queen sized beds lah! Perfect for families but one bed was completely unused in my case...
NO WAIT IT WAS USED! To pile all my shopping on! MUAHAHA
Guess what the telly was showing?
Even the sheets are Alice in Wonderland themed!
Castled headboard
Me being silly while Mike showers... :)
So cute! All these can be brought back home if you wished to!
The various dwarves are so useful!
Here are the bedroom slippers in Baby, Mama and Papa sizes! Middle one's missing coz I was wearing it! Same thing for bathrobes.
In case you didn't know what it was.
That's it for the rooms!
We adjoin downstairs to meet the Disney Reps for a meeting!
They were oh-so-generous and ordered shitloads of High Tea-ish stuff for us! Sorry lah I dunno what these are called...
Tray after tray arrived... Totally cannot finish lor!
Me with ribbon hair! I thought it could perhaps pass off as Mickey-ish ears??
And here's our map for later!
It's huge! I know a lot of you say that the Disneyland in Hongkong is tiny, and it is, in comparison to the ones in Florida or LA... But so what?
I still think it's bloody big!
And I'm not just saying that coz I went on a sponsored trip.
It's big enough to occupy you for 1 whole day, that's for sure... Which is more than enough for me lor.
Doesn't mean smaller = not enjoyable what!
Here's a group pic of us + Disney reps (in black, back row)!
We were all given this little spectacles, which is actually called a Hologram Viewer (according to Cheesie, wrong blame her)!
IT IS SUPER MAGICAL I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See the little heart at the bottom?
When you look thru the 'lens', all the lights around you will magically form a HEART SHAPE OMGWTFBBQ!!
It's true!
Here's the best picture I could take via my camera, but when you look through it, it is VERY distinct!
And the reason why we were given this is coz the park is very well lit up at night, and when you see FIREWORKS through the hologram viewer, it's a completely surreal experience!
Comes in Snowflake, Heart and Snowmen patterns! And can only get this from DISNEY!
Redmummy dangerously camwhoring on the road...
Bus almost knocked her down lor
Mike and I
With the cute Malaysian girls... Why are they so cute omg!
With Redmummy too! She looks damn young but is 34!
And we arrive in DISNEYLAND!!!!!!
So excited must camwhore
Here's Mickey riding what looks like the Twitter fail whale
Tickets!
The dudes checking our bags...
SERIOUSLY OK... This guy's name is JOKER.
I saw his name tag said Joker, so I asked him if his name is really Joker and he said yes!!!!!!!!
It's not only funny but terribly ironic for a security guard whose job is really kinda nothing like a joke. LOL!!!!!!!
MICKEY!
Part of what makes Disneyland so magical is that there is music EVERYWHERE you go!!!!!
(AND NO SMOKERS HAHAHAHA!)
Like no matter which part of the park you are at, happy music is always piping and lifting your mood!
This choral group was singing underneath the crazy tall Xmas tree!
Audrey hologramming
Awwww so cute!!
I had to FORCE him to let me take a pic of him with Stitch on his head...
And it was time for the Xmas parade!!!!
One of the pretty parade girls...
And the Xmas tree flashes different sets of lights!! Very breath-taking...
Nicely sets the mood for Xmas
Mike's hood flew up!!
KISS KISS!!
With the girls!
And we enter Small World or whatever it's called lah...
So pretty omg
Figurines gliding out of the castle...
Chio backdrop!
Us on the ride... We got a pink car! So lucky!
The ride was very peaceful and "It's a Small World" kept playing over and over again in many different languages!
We went from continent to continent... Quite fun to spot the different nationalities!
O hai! Didn't know you worked in Disneyland...
Me to Mike: "BABY! It's Texas!"
The special Xmas theme with Lil Bo Peep and her... Duck?
And done! After this we go on the Tea Cups!
Spinning round and round!
Once the guards let our batch in everyone started to RUN for their favourite tea cup...
It was ridiculous... I tried to get in two different tea cups but each time was cut off by some rude kid rushing in first!
Some other kid and I were then running for the last cup so I ran damn fast and elbowed the bitch out of the way!
That's for disrespecting your elders stupid girl! Hmpf! Anyway Cheesie saw this disgraceful scene and laughed at me.
WHAT?
I got snatched TWICE of what was rightfully mine ok! I came first and they robbed me of my cups!
Nasty rude kids. Ahem.
My favourite was to watch the colourful fireworks (such as the above) with the hologram viewer!!!!!!!
Cheesie managed to snap a really good shot of how it will look like so I stole a piccie from her blog:
Here's how it looks like on a colourful Xmas tree so imagine how the fireworks would look like! MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD CHIO!
After many failed shots of the fireworks (obviously not posted up since FAIL), I decided to just enjoy it instead of frantically snapping photos with the blasted (punny hahaha) Fireworks mode on my Lumix which kinda sucks...
It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME.
Of ALL the fireworks shows I've EVER seen in my entire this, this Disney one is BY FAR THE BEST!!!!!!!
Not only is it shooting off aside a gorgeous castle, there was also beautiful music...
Music from all our favourite cartoons that filled us with wonder and hope and whatever good feelings there are when we were kids...
And the HOLOGRAM VIEWER OMG!
Disney oughta pay the inventor like a zillion dollars coz watching fireworks with the hologram viewer just makes it SO MUCH MORE FUN!!!!!
For a long moment you just forget about all the nasty stuff in the world like that weird itch or your balding problem... It's just beauty and magic and glitter and hologram chioness!!!!!
It was nice...................
So nice............
I'm actually still having Disney withdrawal symptoms.
Oh well I'd go back there soon!
Part 2 will be coming up shortly!! It's even longer than this entry -_-
:D :D :D :D
I had a really fun time so anyone who didn't are either grumpy prudes or just didn't go with the right company/in the right weather. I love Disneyland (any Disneyland in the world for that matter) and will delete spoilsport comments which say it's not fun!
Stop spoiling shit for others goddamn it!
Mike is the most shiok of all coz he went on free trip and doesn't need to blog about it!
Well, they are not vetting or paying for this so I guess this is a normal post and not an advert! :D
To start with... THIS TRIP WAS SUPER FUN!!!!!!!!!!!
Like everyone said it was so enjoyable!
In fact, I don't remember the last time I went to Disneyland, in LA, as being even CLOSE to this fun! (Post here)
DEFINITELY one of my best holidays...
I guess it's coz of the company... Everyone was nice, funny, and I especially LOVE the girl bloggers coz they are all so vain, camwhorish and bimbotic! Like me!! HAHAHA
Ok lah I guess Estee, Ming's girlfriend, is the mature one but the rest of the girls are all decidedly childish (I mean that in a good way), even Redmummy who is a mother of 2!! LOL
Us girls were being so frivolous wearing Disney merchandise and shopping and snapping like SHITLOADS of photos...
We went to Hongkong for 2.5 days and Day 1 and 2 were for exploring Disneyland... Day 2's night and Day 3 were for SHOPPING!
It was mad awesome.
About 200 photos so I'm splitting the post into 2 days...
Touch down at Hongkong's airport... Can you spot my luggage?
Mike panicking while waiting for his
With the SG bloggers Ming and Estee
In the cab
I snapped this shot and I told everyone I'm going to caption it "In the cab". They all agreed it's a snappy caption and that I put loads of effort into blogging.
Reached Disneyland Hotel!!!
LOVE IT! The place is decorated rather old-school Victorian style... Classy and grand but not too stuffy. And you know... With cartoons!
Put down our luggage and went for lunch with the Msian bloggers...
Ketchup Mickey kinda looks like boobs
There they are, already snapping shots!!
From left: Redmummy, Cheesie, Audrey and Tim (holding cam).
Bloggers very competitive one ok everything also must snap photos of!
Ming and Estee pondering over what to eat
Cute kids are everywhere!
Here are the girls' food
I just ordered fries with what looks like freshly whipped homemade mayo! Yums
Cheesie and Audrey camwhoring with my camera!
Decorations in Xmas themes
Our receptionist
And here's our room!!
There's two queen sized beds lah! Perfect for families but one bed was completely unused in my case...
NO WAIT IT WAS USED! To pile all my shopping on! MUAHAHA
Guess what the telly was showing?
Even the sheets are Alice in Wonderland themed!
Castled headboard
Me being silly while Mike showers... :)
So cute! All these can be brought back home if you wished to!
The various dwarves are so useful!
Here are the bedroom slippers in Baby, Mama and Papa sizes! Middle one's missing coz I was wearing it! Same thing for bathrobes.
In case you didn't know what it was.
That's it for the rooms!
We adjoin downstairs to meet the Disney Reps for a meeting!
They were oh-so-generous and ordered shitloads of High Tea-ish stuff for us! Sorry lah I dunno what these are called...
Tray after tray arrived... Totally cannot finish lor!
Me with ribbon hair! I thought it could perhaps pass off as Mickey-ish ears??
And here's our map for later!
It's huge! I know a lot of you say that the Disneyland in Hongkong is tiny, and it is, in comparison to the ones in Florida or LA... But so what?
I still think it's bloody big!
And I'm not just saying that coz I went on a sponsored trip.
It's big enough to occupy you for 1 whole day, that's for sure... Which is more than enough for me lor.
Doesn't mean smaller = not enjoyable what!
Here's a group pic of us + Disney reps (in black, back row)!
We were all given this little spectacles, which is actually called a Hologram Viewer (according to Cheesie, wrong blame her)!
IT IS SUPER MAGICAL I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See the little heart at the bottom?
When you look thru the 'lens', all the lights around you will magically form a HEART SHAPE OMGWTFBBQ!!
It's true!
Here's the best picture I could take via my camera, but when you look through it, it is VERY distinct!
It makes everything around look SO GORGEOUS!
And the reason why we were given this is coz the park is very well lit up at night, and when you see FIREWORKS through the hologram viewer, it's a completely surreal experience!
Comes in Snowflake, Heart and Snowmen patterns! And can only get this from DISNEY!
Redmummy dangerously camwhoring on the road...
Bus almost knocked her down lor
Mike and I
With the cute Malaysian girls... Why are they so cute omg!
With Redmummy too! She looks damn young but is 34!
And we arrive in DISNEYLAND!!!!!!
So excited must camwhore
Here's Mickey riding what looks like the Twitter fail whale
Tickets!
The dudes checking our bags...
SERIOUSLY OK... This guy's name is JOKER.
I saw his name tag said Joker, so I asked him if his name is really Joker and he said yes!!!!!!!!
It's not only funny but terribly ironic for a security guard whose job is really kinda nothing like a joke. LOL!!!!!!!
MICKEY!
Part of what makes Disneyland so magical is that there is music EVERYWHERE you go!!!!!
(AND NO SMOKERS HAHAHAHA!)
Like no matter which part of the park you are at, happy music is always piping and lifting your mood!
This choral group was singing underneath the crazy tall Xmas tree!
Audrey hologramming
Awwww so cute!!
I had to FORCE him to let me take a pic of him with Stitch on his head...
And it was time for the Xmas parade!!!!
One of the pretty parade girls...
And the Xmas tree flashes different sets of lights!! Very breath-taking...
Nicely sets the mood for Xmas
Mike's hood flew up!!
KISS KISS!!
With the girls!
And we enter Small World or whatever it's called lah...
So pretty omg
Figurines gliding out of the castle...
Chio backdrop!
Us on the ride... We got a pink car! So lucky!
The ride was very peaceful and "It's a Small World" kept playing over and over again in many different languages!
We went from continent to continent... Quite fun to spot the different nationalities!
O hai! Didn't know you worked in Disneyland...
Me to Mike: "BABY! It's Texas!"
The special Xmas theme with Lil Bo Peep and her... Duck?
And done! After this we go on the Tea Cups!
Spinning round and round!
Once the guards let our batch in everyone started to RUN for their favourite tea cup...
It was ridiculous... I tried to get in two different tea cups but each time was cut off by some rude kid rushing in first!
Some other kid and I were then running for the last cup so I ran damn fast and elbowed the bitch out of the way!
That's for disrespecting your elders stupid girl! Hmpf! Anyway Cheesie saw this disgraceful scene and laughed at me.
WHAT?
I got snatched TWICE of what was rightfully mine ok! I came first and they robbed me of my cups!
Nasty rude kids. Ahem.
And finally, it's time for the FIREWORKS!!!
Everyone was so excited...
Ridiculously chio castle...
AND BOOM!!!!!!
So pretty!!
Everyone was so excited...
Ridiculously chio castle...
AND BOOM!!!!!!
So pretty!!
My favourite was to watch the colourful fireworks (such as the above) with the hologram viewer!!!!!!!
Cheesie managed to snap a really good shot of how it will look like so I stole a piccie from her blog:
Here's how it looks like on a colourful Xmas tree so imagine how the fireworks would look like! MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD CHIO!
After many failed shots of the fireworks (obviously not posted up since FAIL), I decided to just enjoy it instead of frantically snapping photos with the blasted (punny hahaha) Fireworks mode on my Lumix which kinda sucks...
It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME.
Of ALL the fireworks shows I've EVER seen in my entire this, this Disney one is BY FAR THE BEST!!!!!!!
Not only is it shooting off aside a gorgeous castle, there was also beautiful music...
Music from all our favourite cartoons that filled us with wonder and hope and whatever good feelings there are when we were kids...
And the HOLOGRAM VIEWER OMG!
Disney oughta pay the inventor like a zillion dollars coz watching fireworks with the hologram viewer just makes it SO MUCH MORE FUN!!!!!
For a long moment you just forget about all the nasty stuff in the world like that weird itch or your balding problem... It's just beauty and magic and glitter and hologram chioness!!!!!
It was nice...................
So nice............
I'm actually still having Disney withdrawal symptoms.
Oh well I'd go back there soon!
Part 2 will be coming up shortly!! It's even longer than this entry -_-
:D :D :D :D
I had a really fun time so anyone who didn't are either grumpy prudes or just didn't go with the right company/in the right weather. I love Disneyland (any Disneyland in the world for that matter) and will delete spoilsport comments which say it's not fun!
Stop spoiling shit for others goddamn it!
Mike is the most shiok of all coz he went on free trip and doesn't need to blog about it!
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