I'm making a difference between the two. I like buttholes. Assholes? Not so much. (That is, when I'm not being one.) A butthole is a lovely thing to penetrate, greedily chow down on and shoot massive loads of cum into and onto. An asshole, however, is an anthropomorphized douchebag. I'll describe today's encounter with both. Let's start with the good stuff. I arrived in NYC this afternoon for a 2p unpaid photo shoot in one of Brooklyn's DUMBO lofts. The purpose was for this whole multi-culti, non-profit ad campaign about self-love and self-acceptance. I was done in less than an hour. With nothing else immediately pressing, I planned to go to the NY Jacks Tuesday stroke fest starting at 7:30p. In between time, I walked through Chelsea Market (for the first time), strolled along the High Line (for the second time) and moved my rentboy ad to Manhattan in hopes of picking up some escort business (didn't happen). If you've never been, Chelsea Market is absolutely gorgeous. I'm a sucker for old ass, rehabbed interiors. I found a burger joint in the marketplace with an outlet to plug in my near dead MacBook, logged into BBRT and made a quick connect posting. Within about an hour or so, I agreed to meet a 32 year old, muscular Latin bottom on 21st between 7th and 8th. I got annoyed when he seemed to get pushy because I wasn't there in 20 minutes (typical NY impatient bullshit). Then, I saw him. Holy fuck! He was wearing a pair of half-tied board shorts slightly sagging at the top of that bubble ass and just below that tiny waist that carved up into a sexy ass set of pecs. (Dear God, I may never eat another carb!) I won't even get into describing his full lips and perfectly symmetrical face. He wasn't very talkative and, after all that checking up on me via text, didn't seem to be too fazed about my presence one way or the other. My attempts at small talk were met with whateverness. (Oooookay, then). Once I was completely naked, he shucked his shorts, clicked on the bareback porn, grabbed his bottle of poppers, laid facedown and showcased that gloriously freckled back and backside. I had my tongue up his butthole nanoseconds after he propped it in the air. I sucked his ass into a sloppy, spitty mess, then started slow fucking him. His moans suggested he enjoyed it. Like an athlete, I was paced, hydrated and was going to ride his ass as long as it took. We were in doggie. Damn, that was some good ass. I loved looking down and seeing my big dick slipping in and out of his butthole. Within 5 minutes, he was jerking his load all over his sheets while I was balls deep in him. I don't mind pump 'n dump situations, but even in the quickest of encounters, I'd like things to last longer than 5 minutes. Oh well. I'm sure my dick still smells of his butthole and that is not a bad thing. God, I wish I could selfsuck :)
Now, to describe an asshole. I moved my rentboy ad from Boston to Manhattan and, just to hedge my luck, made a nude massage posting on Craigslist. Yes, I know that's not where I'm supposed to place that type of ad, but it's New York. Who really cares here? This is the city where you can do whatever the fuck you want, right? Live and let live, right? Right? Nuh, uh. There's always one person ready to spoil the party. Not only did it get flagged, I got some asshole who sent me a scathing email. Our email exchange follows. I think I was surprisingly calm. Oh and the police never showed. Big surprise. Also, I'm not changing any of the font or capitalization from the original exchange. Watch how his anger mounts as he types in full caps. Jeez!
Date: mar, nov 16, 4:09 PM -0500
Subject: Mutual Nude Massage - 35 (Chelsea)
hkrfkr: EWWW! A "35" year old negro whore? YUCK!
me: hahaha. you'd never say that to my face.
hkrfkr: YOU THINK SO WHORE? I WOULD BE THRILLED TO. WHEN AND WHERE WHORE. AND I SUPPOSE YOU WOULD BE AMENABLE TO ME BRINGING THE NYPD PROSTITUTION SQUAD ALONG WITH A COPY OF YOUR PROSTITUTION AD? SO WHERE WHORE. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE SCHOOLED ON BEING A FILTHY NEGRO WHORE?
me: the dunkin donuts @ 31st and 9th since you're so outraged. come do your civic duty. i'll be waiting. how soon?
hkrfkr: You are willing to meet me with the NYPD?!?
me: Dear Mr. Outraged Stalker Racist: I'm sorry, but you just don't intimidate me. You have the address. Do what you like. BTW, I love that through all your self-righteous racist bullshit, your email address is hookerfucker :) That's a riot. Don't you think so?
hkrfkr: Um whore? My intention was not to intimidate you you silly hooker although I do understand how the world of a whore would have at it's [sic] centerpiece intimidation (and lies and obfuscation). It was to point out how disgusting it is that you are a whore and a "35" year old one at that. Don't want push back? DO NOT ADVERTISE YOUR PROSTITUTION SERVICES IN THE FUCKING PUBLIC SQUARE. And I LOVE how you play the race card as a means of deflecting my criticisms. YOU ARE A WHORE and yet you fain racism. So bugger off whore. Pretend to be all upset about nonexistent "racism" all the while ignoring my original criticism that you are [a] filthy lying whore.
me: hahahahahahahahaha. Again, idiot, you had your chance to meet me face [to] face. You weren't bold enough. That makes you a coward and a dumbass. Hmm. I can see where your mental helplessness comes from. Nevertheless, stop filling up my inbox with your lost dreams and complete inability to really matter on this planet. Jerk yourself off and go back to sleep. Grownups are talking, dear. oh and, dumbass, the word is feign. you can manage "obfuscate," but you can't spell feign? you ARE an idiot.
hkrfkr: OH AND WHORE? YOU ARE PROJECTING. FELL (sic) FREE TO FART AND BELCH ALL YOU WANT. ANY FUTURE BULLSHIT FROM YOU WILL GO IN THE FUCKING TRASH WHERE YOU BELONG YOU FILTHY DISGUSTING WHORE.
What a stupid ass. Clearly this guy has issues. But what was weird was that he pasted information from one of my Xtube accounts: thisdick75. How in the hell did he find that? I suppose he thought I'd be cowed. Clearly, he didn't know me. "Fuck you" is one of my favorite sayings. Others are, "there is no I in team, but there are 3 U's in shut the fuck up," "eat mah balls" and "it's on the house." So, in the wizened words of Kathy Griffin, "he can suck it." On a lighter note, I had phone sex on the back of megabus on the way back to Boston. This South Boston dude's girlfriend wasn't home. So we stroked together until he blew a load. The pics above are of me during the conversation and him after. He was kind enough to send a pic. It's not great quality, but it looks like a good load. I didn't notice how big his previous one was because I, uh, might've swallowed it. Ebony and Ivory...
Young, hairy buttcrack worth the trip cross country
Starting a campaign to get this up my asshole
Sexual Racism DOES Suck
I want this to happen to me.
