For Soft-Core Friday today, I'm taking on the writing challenge from Red Writing Hood over at the new Write on Edge writer's forum. It's been a while since I have linked up there but I really liked this one.
The challenge:
This week’s assignment was simple: write a story of your choice. The catch? Write it as a tweet. Use only 140 characters – including spaces.
Here's mine.
She looked over at the dark shape sleeping beside her. She had to leave in a minute, but she didn't wake him. This was a moment just for her
Short and simple but could say a lot depending on what you add to it in your own mind.
And because it's "Soft-Core" Friday and all and what I actually wrote isn't very scandalous, I'm updating this post to include a song that cracks me up every time I hear it. My favorite line "I don't want to be loved, I just want a quickie...." Poetry, really. The song is pretty much crap but the comedy in the lyrics really makes me smile...
I think this thing is rigged! How else would I get this challenge? Really...
But regardless of my accusations of being set up, I was again given a great challenge prompt as part of the Indie Ink weekly challenge. I'm telling you, if you have not gotten in on the action yet, you really need to. Every week I am more and more amazed by the writing that comes out of it from the kids that participate.
This week, I was challenged by Amanda. Her challenge was this: What's the worst thing you've ever done?
My challenge went toA Lil Irish Lass and will be posted herewhen her response is ready.
Here's what you get for my challenge response this week. Enjoy!
The Worst Thing
What's the worst thing I’ve ever done? It’s really hard to say. To narrow all the bad things down to just one “worst” thing? I don’t know that I am qualified to make that determination. I usually start off with good intentions if that counts for anything.
If I had to choose just one thing and own it though, it would probably be something I did to myself. I have always had a high tolerance for self-inflicted pain of the physical variety. Piercings, tattoos, and things of the like. If it was my choice to be hurt, I can own the pain that comes from the decision. I actually kind of enjoy the process to be honest with you.
It was a different story when the self-inflicted pain was of the emotional variety. I found out that was not quite as easily owned and certainly not as easily tolerated.
One year ago at this time, almost to the day, I fell in love. I’m talking the real true deal. My divorce had just become final, I was feeling free for the first time in too many years to count, and was perfectly content running my own agenda and not compromising for anyone. And that’s when I met him.
I am not someone that falls in gooey, sickening, “I can’t live without you” love. I am much too reasonable for that. I have always made decisions based on logic and followed a path of what made sense to do as next steps. I can say that the day I married my husband that I loved him but I wasn’t madly, passionately, crazy in love with him.
We made sense together and the next logical step was for us to get married and start our career climbs and have the perfect suburban life. So we did. And that worked for a while. And then that wasn’t enough anymore. We weren’t in the right kind of love with each other to weather the perfect storm that got thrown our way. We made the logical decision and got divorced. I still love him, but I’m not in love with him.
The last thing I expected was to find myself madly, crazy, “I can’t live without you” in love. Ever. That was just not something I would do. But I did. I mean I really did. Head first, jump in, no looking back, all or nothing love. The connection that we had from the very first look, first word… was like nothing ever in my life prior.
And I’m not talking about lust. That I know well and find often. This was completely different. This was something on a whole different level. The intensity swallowed me alive, left me gasping for air, unable to escape what he was to me. There was no room for logic or next practical steps. It was really a force unto itself. We were just too caught up in it, in each other, to worry about such trivial things like common sense.
He would write me a letter. One every week. Sometimes he mailed it; sometimes he delivered it in person. Those letters were like nothing I had ever read. No one had ever painted a clearer picture of the life I wanted before. It was truly like he was in my soul and knew everything my heart desired. I didn’t know how I would ever be enough for him. I certainly couldn’t return what he was giving to me. I didn’t know how. I’m not the type of girl to fall in love.
There was no choice with him. It was a matter that was beyond my control. I couldn’t have created a space between us if I was forced to. We spent entire weekends devouring each other, leaving only to get food and then returning immediately to pick up where we left off.
It wasn’t sex or fucking or love making, no, it was something entirely different. Sometimes it was as if we were purposely hurting each other because it was an intensity that was so great that there really was not an adequate way to express it to each other. It wasn’t enough. It couldn’t be enough. There was too much for it to be satisfied.
It was during our times apart, when I could catch my breath, regain vision of my surroundings when they weren’t blocked by seeing only him in my world that I could see what it really was. It was intense and amazing. It was also really unhealthy and borderline co-dependent. Somewhere between the love letters and the weekends of sex, he had taken over control of me. Literally.
If we weren’t physically together, I was to be online and available to him pretty much 24/7. I was never allowed to question anything, because I would always be wrong, or unreasonable, or not loving him right.
Slowly as time went by, I began to realize that I was losing myself completely. This wasn’t the normal give and take, compromising, that you expected to do as a relationship grows. This was a complete surrender. I was being taken hostage by him under the disguise of his overwhelming love for me. By the time I realized it, it was almost too late.
We had looked at houses and were signing the lease papers to make it official that day. That was the day I ended it. It was as if some survival instinct kicked in and allowed me the clarity to see how destructive and abusive the relationship had become. What was once beautiful had turned rancid. Somewhere along the line it turned from love to control, and I never saw it coming.
It was still just as intense as it had started, we were literally like magnets, drawn to each other beyond our own power but now the force that propelled us was dark and would only end with me being completely consumed by him or completely without him. I was not willing to be owned by him. It had to end.
The worst thing I’ve ever done? It’s hard to say for sure. But letting myself fall in love with someone who didn’t deserve it has to be near the top of the list.
Never Again.
Updated 6/14/11: In an ironic twist, I am going to see Ray LaMontagne in concert tonight. Why is it ironic you ask? Because his song "You Are The Best Thing" was "our" song from the very beginning. I guess something good came from the experience, I got introduced to an amazing singer/songwriter and can now enjoy his music with a bit of sad reverence. This was the song that was supposed to be playing in the background as we danced around the kitchen and kissed while making dinner. It was a good plan.
I am excited! Another great weekly challenge from my friends at Indie Ink. They are never going to be able to get rid of me now! You should come play with us, it's a good time.
This week, my challenge came from Michael Webb at http://innocentsaccidentshints.blogspot.com/ You should stop over and check what he has going on. The challenge is at the bottom of the post. It threw me for a loop but I tried to take it from a relatable angle and somehow came up with yet another poem. I know, yawn... I'm sure I'm boring you by now but thanks for reading it anyways!
Will I Ever Win?
I keep playing
But no closer to the end
The victory
Or perhaps the defeat
I should pick a better game
One with less risks
One with better odds
Something that requires little skill
And even less investment
It’s easy to win
When there is so little to lose
To go forward with reckless abandon
All in
With no regrets
Much easier to lose
With so much at stake
Such a bet to wager
A gamble
No wise man would make
Will I ever win?
That remains to be seen
But I will keep playing
Stay in the game
Live through the twists and the turns
Learn the lessons as they come
And play again
Wiser the next time
So my challenge was this: Fleetwood Mac once asked, in "Rhiannon", "Will you ever win?". Will you?
Yeah, so Fleetwood Mac is not my specialty but I do like this song and the story behind it. I am including the video and the Wiki facts on it just as an FYI. And yes, I realize that my take on the challenge really has nothing to do with either but the intention was good if that counts.
I think I am hooked. I can't stop signing up for the Indie Ink weekly challenges. I am having too much fun!
My challenge this week comes from Katriand it's awesome:A poem inspired by the last movie you saw
The last movie I saw just happened to be out of the trusty RedBox and was "Love and Other Drugs" with Jake Gyllenhaal (yum) and Anne Hathaway. Here is my take on the challenge. Hopefully it gives you an idea of what the plot of the movie is.
I play the players
With an innocent smile
No time for connections
It’s my body they want anyways
And he is no exception
We met under false pretenses
The truth not as important as intentions
His charm and his words
Were no match for me
He never stood a chance
To proclaim sincerity
Falling in love
These are things I just don’t do
And I won’t accept them
From him or anyone
Something to do
A way to pass time
Until my body betrays me
The sickness winning
Ending my game
Sending him on his way with its ugliness
He says he can handle it
That it doesn’t matter
But the truth is his love is conditional
He only wants to be with me
If he can fix me
But he can’t
No one can
This disease bends to no man
And neither will I
I will deal with this on my own
I won’t, no, I can’t let anyone in
I challenged the fabulous Jen O this week. She absolutely killed it! Like beyond! Go check it out. Now!
So my lovely Hannah bestowed the honor of this award upon me today. Isn't she sweet??? The answer to that is YES! I humbly accept. Cherry on Top? I can't think of a better award, well, other than the Nice Rack award but I already got that one from my Sweet Kat and my darling Jewels.
The rules say that I have to provide a link to the person who awarded this to me. Go checkHannah out. I’ll wait for you. It also says that I have to provide 3 things that I love about myself. Really? Just 3? It will be hard to narrow them down but here goes
I live in reality. Good/bad/ugly, doesn't matter. I live in the moment and accept reality for what it is. I don't dream of fairy tale endings and I am grateful for every experience I have, even when it hurts.
2. I truly invest in other people. I love being engaged in other's lives, riding along on their adventures, and hearing the stories that make them who they are.
3. I am very trustworthy. People know that they can tell me anything and it will never go further than me. I keep things in the greatest of confidence if asked to do so.
I am told that I need to pass this award on to 5 other bloggers. To Narrow it down to 5 is super hard for me because there are so many fantastic bloggers that truly add the cherry on top with their posts. But rules are rules so here goes:
Just for a change of pace this weekend, a post that has nothing to do with anything related to sex. Let's see how many followers I lose out of sheer disappointment. Fear not kids, I will be back to my regularly scheduled programming soon. In the meantime you can catch my randiness at The Dude Society if you just can't wait.
Jennifer Aniston escaped on vacation to Los Cabos in Mexico over Thanksgiving, and she wasn't alone, she brought a bikini-clad Chelsea Handler with her. Jennifer Aniston probably though "I"ll just take Chelsea with me, that way I will at least be the hot one." But it's good to see Jennifer Maniston and Chelsea Mandler together at last after all these years. They actually just might have enough man repellent between them to ward off an entire army of Vikings on a looting and rape rampage. Click on pictures to enlarge.
Jennifer Aniston (born February 11, 1969 in Sherman Oaks, California, United States) is an Emmy- and Golden Globe Award-winning American film and television actress, best known for her role as Rachel Green in the popular television sitcom Friends. Apart from Friends, she has starred in several successful Hollywood films, including Bruce Almighty, Office Space, Along Came Polly and The Break-Up.
In addition to her career as a TV actress, Aniston has enjoyed a successful film career. Her biggest box office success to date was her appearance in 2003's Bruce Almighty, in which she played the girlfriend of title character (Jim Carrey); the film grossed $243M at the United States box office and almost twice that worldwide. Aniston's 2004 film, Along Came Polly (opposite Ben Stiller), also did well at the box office after opening at the #1 spot. www.GutterUncensored.com
