sex warehouse

Gee, don't mess with Greenpeace, they'll come after you with a big publicity stick. The protest organisation has the Mattel toy corporation in its crosshairs for its use of products from Asia Pulp & Paper (APP) in its packaging, particularly for its line of Barbie toys. Asia Pulp & Paper stands accused of clearing Indonsesian rainforests and threatening species native to those areas; actions which are supposedly in conflict with Mattel's stated policy of corporate responsibility.

On Tuesday, June 7, 2011, Greenpeace launched a campaign against Mattel at its headquarters in El Segundo, California. According to Reuters, men dressed as "Ken" rappelled down the side of the Mattel building to hang a banner which read, "Barbie, it's over. I don't date girls who are into deforestation." A woman dressed as Barbie drove a small pink bulldozer handing out copies of the group's charges. (Click here for pictures from Google image search) According to reports, eight protesters were arrested at the scene on charges of trespassing.

News outlets quoted an emailed statement from Greenpeace activist Rolf Skar: "Unwrap the glossy pink box and you'll find Barbie's dirty secret. Her packaging is made from the rainforests of Indonesia which are being ripped down for quick profits. The Sumatran tiger is on the brink of extinction because companies like Mattel are looking the other way and buying paper without asking where it's coming from."

So far, this seems like another splashy publicity stunt designed to garner attention for a worthy cause. However, Greenpeace didn't stop there. The piece de resistance seems to be a short video they had made which amusingly interviews "Ken" as the off-camera journalists reveals to "him" photographic evidence of "Barbie's" questionable practices elsewhere in the world.


Uploaded by GreenpeaceVideo on Jun 6, 2011
Barbie's rainforest destruction habit REVEALED!
In a recent interview Ken learns of Barbie's scandalous deforestation habit ... she's been wrapping herself in rainforest destruction and pushing endangered Sumatran tigers to the brink of extinction ...



Final Word
Wow. What a message: don't mess with Greenpeace. Seriously though, the organisation does good work. Let's face it, we may all do something not quite right to save a buck and large corporations just do it on a large scale. If Greenpeace doesn't raise awareness of deforestation, polluting, and the extinction of animals, who will? We may say that the dodo has been extinct since the mid-to-late 17th century, but in looking around at what dumb things people do to get a buck, we could argue that the dodo is very much alive and well.


References

Reuters - Jun 7/2011
"Ken" doll protesters arrested at Mattel headquarters
Greenpeace activists dressed as Ken dolls rappelled down the side of Mattel's headquarters on Tuesday to unfurl a banner saying Barbie packaging contributes to rainforest destruction.

The Washington Post - June 8/2011
Greenpeace protests Barbie at Mattel headquarters By Sarah Anne Hughes
Greenpeace is taking a stand against one of the most well-known public figures in the world: Barbie.

The Los Angeles Times - Jun 8/2011
Greenpeace stages protest at Mattel office over Barbie packaging By Margot Roosevelt
Greenpeace accuses Mattel of using paper from Indonesian rain forests to package Barbie dolls. Activists hang a large banner on Mattel's headquarters in El Segundo. Police arrest 10 protesters.

Wikipedia: Greenpeace
Greenpeace is a non-governmental environmental organization with offices in over 40 countries and with an international coordinating body in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Greenpeace states its goal is to "ensure the ability of the Earth to nurture life in all its diversity" and focuses its work on world wide issues such as global warming, deforestation, overfishing, commercial whaling and anti-nuclear issues. Greenpeace uses direct action, lobbying and research to achieve its goals. The global organization does not accept funding from governments, corporations or political parties, relying on more than 2.8 million individual supporters and foundation grants.

Wikipedia: Mattel
Mattel, Inc. is the world's largest toy company based on revenue. The products it produces include Fisher Price, Barbie dolls, Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars, Masters of the Universe, American Girl dolls, board games, and, in the early 1980s, video game consoles. The company's name is derived from Harold "Matt" Matson and Elliot Handler, who founded the company in 1945. Handler's wife, Ruth Handler, later became president, and is credited with establishing the Barbie product line for the company in 1959. After the release of the Barbie doll, Mattel revolutionized the toy industry with its talking dolls and toys. Major successes in the 1960s with the talking Chatty Cathy doll in 1960 and See 'N Say toys in 1965 moved Mattel to its position as the number one toymaker in America. Mattel closed its last American factory, originally part of the Fisher-Price division, in 2002, outsourcing production to China, the beginning of a chain of events that led to a scandal involving lead contamination.

Wikipedia: Mattel: Asia Pulp and Paper Controversy
On June 8, 2011, Greenpeace launched "Barbie, It's Over", an international campaign criticising Mattel's use of Asia Pulp & Paper's products in its packaging, particularly in its line of Barbie products. Greenpeace accuses Asia Pulp & Paper of clearing Indonesian rainforests and threatening species native to those rainforests. Destruction of the rainforest conflicts with Mattel's stated corporate responsibility policy.

Greenpeace: Barbie, it's over
Barbie has a nasty deforestation habit - she is trashing rainforests in Indonesia, including areas that are home to some of the last tiger, orang-utans and elephants, just so she can wrap herself in pretty packaging. Mattel, the manufacturer of Barbie, is feeding this nasty habit by using paper packaging for the world's most famous toy from Indonesia's most notorious rainforest destroyer Asia Pulp and Paper (APP).

Wikipedia: Asia Pulp & Paper
Asia Pulp & Paper, also know in the paper industry as APP is based in Singapore, is one of the largest pulp and paper companies in the world. It was founded by Eka Cipta Widjaja, who had significant ties to the Suharto ruling family in Indonesia. Currently 80-90% of the fiber for papermaking that APP obtains from Indonesia comes from sustainable plantations. While several organizations continue to claim that a significant portion of its raw materials from from rainforests in addition to farmed wood, APP recognizes an imperfect early track record and is now working actively to rely on sustainable plantations for future production and to promote preservation of rainforests and peat lands.

Wikipedia: Asia Pulp & Paper: Mattel
In 7 June 2011, Greenpeace launched "Barbie, It's Over", a global campaign to bring awareness and encourage Mattel to switch pulp and paper producers. Mattel uses paper sourced from Asia Pulp & Paper in its product packaging, particularly in packaging in the Barbie line of toys.

Wikipedia: Asia Pulp & Paper: Environmental issues and logging practices
[The company is in trouble about illegal logging, non green practices, etc.]

Greenpeace: Deforestation (PDF)
Millions of hectares of Indonesia’s rainforest habitats and carbonrich peatlands are earmarked for destruction


Euronews - Jun 8/2011
Greenpeace blame Barbie for forest destruction
Greenpeace is pointing the finger of blame at Barbie. It claims packaging for the doll is contributing to the destruction of Indonesia's rainforests. Her boyfriend Ken does not approve, according to the group. Manufacturers Mattel say they have been in touch with Greenpeace on a variety of paper sourcing issues....



2011-06-09

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Apparently not. According to Urban Dictionary, this is figure of speech in which a sentence or phrase has an unexpected or surprising ending. As I scratch my head, I realise some examples are in order.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Wikipedia tries to explain the word's etymology. "Paraprosdokian" comes from Greek "παρά-", meaning "despite" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation". Canadian linguist and etymology author William Gordon Casselman argues that, while the word is now in wide circulation, "paraprosdokian" (or "paraprosdokia") is not a term of classical (or medieval) Greek or Latin rhetoric, but a late 20th century neologism.

Wikipedia has some examples:

He was at his best when the going was good.
- Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor

There but for the grace of God — goes God.
- Winston Churchill

If I am reading this graph correctly - I'd be very surprised.
- Stephen Colbert

You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else.
- Winston Churchill

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
- Dorothy Parker

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx

A modest man, who has much to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

She looks as though she's been poured into her clothes, and forgot to say 'when'.
- P. G. Wodehouse

I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks.
- Emo Phillips

If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.
- Homer Simpson

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
- Mitch Hedberg

I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.
- Bill Hicks

The examples are funny but the word?
Bill Casselman is a Canadian author and broadcaster who has written a number of radio and TV shows about comedy and linguistics. He has a 400-page web site chock full of gems about his explorations of the English language as found in Canada. In an article entitled "The Bogus Word Paraprosdokian and Lazy Con Artists of Academe", he goes through the dubious origins of this official sounding word. In his opinion, this word is a modern invention and a bad one at that.

The word paraprosdokian appears NOWHERE in ancient Greek literature. It was NEVER an ancient Greek word. Prosdokia is a Greek feminine noun. Yes, its accusative case is, in the singular, prosdokian. But why would an accusative case be used as a nominative presentation form? Why is EVERY OTHER GREEK NOUN used as a term in rhetoric in a nominative form: i.e. tmesis, syncope, litotes, etc. etc., but this one exception is in the accusative case?

The word paraprosdokian was made up by some semiliterate doofus late in the 20th century, then added to lists of rhetorical terms at universities whose departments of classics must have been staffed by brain-dead sluggards and mummified pedagogues.

Internet Buzzword
Mr. Casselman points out that the word seems to have taken off in popularity and on that basis, is probably here to stay whether the purists like it or not. Whatever the case, there is no denying that the figure of speech the word is trying to encapsulate is one of immensely amusing results.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

I asked God for a new car, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a car, and asked for forgiveness.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, a target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Final Word
Bill Casselman defines the word, gives examples to show its meaning, then goes about dissecting its etymology to conclude this is a made-up word of the most dubious of origins. As he so amusingly concludes: Now, certainly, there are sentences and phrases with surprise endings. Educated people call these: "sentences with surprise endings."

Whatever you want to call it, word or no word, the above examples are pretty darn funny.


References

Wikipedia: Paraprosdokian
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Wikipedia: Bill Casselman
William Gordon Casselman (born Dunnville, Ontario, Canada) is a Canadian writer and broadcaster. He has written a number of books about Canadian words and produced a number of radio and TV shows featuring comedy and linguistics. Bill Casselman is an active writer still. On May 10, 2011 Bill completed his 14th book and has submitted it to an American publisher. Bill Casselman has a 400-page website about English etymology at http://www.billcasselman.com. The additions were written here by Bill Casselman himself.

official web site: Bill Casselman

Bill Casselman: The Bogus Word Paraprosdokian and Lazy Con Artists of Academe
I object to ... the attempt by lackadaisical, slipshod scholarship to claim that the word paraprosdokian is a term in classical rhetoric or to insist that it is a valid rhetorical label sanctioned by centuries of scholarly use. It is no such thing, as I prove below.

2011-06-07

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I recently ran into some humorous and insightful quotes about marriage and divorce. As I chuckled while reading them, I couldn't help thinking of the quite serious question about why we do it. Do we really have no idea of what we're getting ourselves into? A long time ago, I realised that oddly enough, there are many things we do in life where there are no prerequisites. Before society allows me to drive a car, I must pass a test. Before I'm allowed to conduct brain surgery, I have to obtain a diploma and carry out an internship. But marriage? Sex? Becoming a parent? Our society, we collectively, require absolutely no proof of competency. There are no tests to pass, diplomas to obtain, or internship to go through. We all have the "right" to get married, have sex, or become parents and we all would be indignant if anybody suggested we would need to prove beforehand that we have the requisite skills and financial means to be doing any of these activities. Would this be tantamount to jumping out of an airplane with no instruction? Oh, you didn't strap on your parachute? I'm sorry; you should have taken lesson number one. Well, you won't be making that mistake again!

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
-Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution ... but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx

On second marriages: "The triumph of hope over experience."
- Samuel Johnson, from Boswell's Life of Johnson

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
-Louis Grizzard (1946-1994) [Gizzard was married and divorced three times.]

The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.
-Len Deighton, London Match (London: Hutchinson, 1985) p. 18.

There's nothing a woman hates more than her fiance's best friend. He knows all the secrets she's going to spend the rest of her life trying to find out.
-Jeff Douglas line in the musical Brigadoon

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings...and lawyers.
-Richard Pryor

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
-Joseph Cossman, Wit On Target, 1998, p. 91.

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
-Clint Eastwood

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
-Homer Simpson

Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
-Duane Dewel, Wit On Target, 1998, p. 88.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
-Jean Kerr

I married beneath me. All women do.
-Lady Nancy Astor

Final Word
Why do we do it? Why do we keep doing it? Does hope truly spring eternal? Woody Allen's 1977 romantic comedy Annie Hall was a comic masterpiece and probably the funniest damn film I've ever seen. There are so many great lines in it that you could probably quote the entire script as a series of witty gems.

However, besides the humour, there was the sad story of a love which blossomed, reached a wonderful peak, and then fell apart. In the final scene of the movie, Woody Allen as Alvy Singer meets Diane Keaton as Annie Hall briefly to talk over old times. It's fun to reminisce, share a few laughs, and have a nostalgic moment to relive the good times of a relationship. Nevertheless, it's over. They know it's over and it's not coming back.

Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.


References

Wikiquotes: Marriage

Wikipedia: Lewis Gizzard
Lewis McDonald Grizzard, Jr. (October 20, 1946 – March 20, 1994) was an American writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. Although he spent his early career as a newspaper sports writer and editor, becoming the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous newspaper columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a popular stand-up comedian & lecturer.

Wikipedia: Jean Kerr
Jean Kerr (1922–2003) was an American author and playwright born in Scranton, Pennsylvania and best known for her humorous bestseller, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, and the plays King of Hearts and Mary, Mary. She was married to drama critic Walter Kerr and was the mother of six children.

Wikipedia: Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor
Nancy Witcher Astor, Viscountess Astor, CH, (1879-1964) was the first woman to sit as a Member of Parliament (MP) in the British House of Commons. Nancy Astor represented the Conservative Party and was the wife of Waldorf Astor, 2nd Viscount Astor.

Lady Astor is nearly as famous for her scathing wit as she is for her political career. Many of her best known quotes are indicative of her personal and political views, such as feminism, temperance, and conservatism; others are merely humorous. However, because she is known for her wit, statements are sometimes attributed to her without conclusive proof that she actually said them.

By far the most famously reported quotes are taken from alleged exchanges between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill but, like the statements above, these are not well documented and may be misattributed. Examples include an instance in which Churchill is supposed to have told Lady Astor that having a woman in Parliament was like having one intrude on him in the bathroom, to which she retorted, "You’re not handsome enough to have such fears". Lady Astor was also said to have responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, "Why don't you come sober, Prime Minister?" Possibly the most famous of all such anecdotes reports that Lady Astor said to Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea," to which he responded, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

One of the more famous exchanges that Lady Astor is purported to have had with Churchill is as follows: "Winston, you are drunk." To which Churchill responded, "And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning." In fact, Churchill was talking to Bessie Braddock, a Labour Member of Parliament.

Mail Online - Jul 1/2007
Hague's baseball cap, Mandelson's mushy peas: True tales or just great political myths? by Simon Hoggart
You could fill a book with what Winston Churchill didn't say. It would be almost as long as one made up of genuine quotes. There's no record of the occasion when the Labour MP Bessie Braddock said: "You are drunk!" and he replied: "And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning." It was an old gag, even then.

Wikipedia: Annie Hall
Annie Hall is a 1977 American romantic comedy directed by Woody Allen from a screenplay co-written with Marshall Brickman and co-starring Diane Keaton. One of Allen's most popular and most honored films, it won four Academy Awards including Best Picture. Roger Ebert described it as "just about everyone's favorite Woody Allen movie".

2011-06-05

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