"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."
-- Dorothy Parker
"When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle! They're on TV!"
-- Homer Simpson
"From there to here, and from here to there, funny things are everywhere."
-- Dr. Seuss
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
-- Oscar Wilde
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
-- Samuel Johnson
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of some weird religious cult."
-– Rita Rudner
"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx
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