Sometimes the truth is simple and hateful. For instance, I hate ear buds (you can't jog, walk or do a fucking thing wearing most of them); I hate it when people leave long ass voicemails (I'm going to call you back, beotch. Don't tell me the whole story); and I hate fisting a stank breath old Austrian dude with a too-hairy rosebud that's turned inside out to look like a deflowered pussy. That's exactly what I had to deal with Tuesday night. The general idea of fisting doesn't turn me off, but it just becomes too much when combined with all the other stuff: unattractively used corn hole; saggy (no, scratch that - CONCAVE) booty; and halitosis, which brings me to Pet Peeve number 2,427,298. FLOSS YO' GODDAMN TEETH! How the fuck do people miss this? Shouldn't you smell a foul odor that's right beneath your nose before anyone else does? Ugggghhhh! Whenever anyone's in my face with horrible breath, I have to actively and repeatedly remind myself: Killing is wrong. A word to the not-so-wise here: your ass should never smell better than your mouth, capice? In a perfect world, we'd never smell bad at all (like me lol), but c'mon. Okay, rant complete (for now).
I almost don't want to even tell this story, but why should I suffer alone? Before the guy agreed to see me, he asked how large my hands were. I assured him they were neither too large nor too small. When he saw them, he decided they were actually small. A fact that made me a perfect candidate to shake hands in his booty. That plus my nails were trimmed well. As I had never fisted anyone, he gave me pointers on just how to hold my hand (and later hands, plural). I'm a fast learner. If you've never fisted anyone, let me just say that it is quite an experience and not a wholly pleasant one, depending. Seeing gobs of Crisco periodically fall out of his ass assured that I would have just about no erection the entire evening...just about ;O) Naturally, he had cleaned himself out very well. I wasn't even worried about that. NOBODY could be that trifling. Still, there were these strings of red stuff (I didn't even want to know) encased in his mucous-y ass jelly here and there all over my hands and right forearm. And there was this weird smell. I can't describe it. Oh yeah, SOMEONE'S FUCKING INSIDES.
The method we used was that I'd kneel behind him at a precise angle and he'd sit on my hand(s) like a chair. This gave him total control over depth and when he'd had enough, he could always just stand up. I know what you're thinking and you're absolutely right: total quad workout. We did that several times. Then he asked if I liked to fuck. You may not know this about me, but I say whatever the hell I want to anybody. It's just part of my Southern charm, motherfucker. I said, "yeah, but at this point, I don't think you'd feel it." He said, "yeah, you're probably right." But there was still something else that he could feel, though. He wanted to know if I'd ever stuck my foot inside anyone. Oh boy. You know how you always say you'll stick your foot so far up So And So's ass until yadda yadda yadda? Yeah. But do you ever think you'll see the day when you actually put your foot inside someone? Or do you even imagine that it could genuinely be possible? Let me assure you dear readers: It's possible. Oh yes. Not only possible, but apparently down right enjoyable if you have a saggy ass-pussy.
And now a quick interjection
Just when does a dick become not enough? Seriously. Is there a graduation process here? Oh let's see. I think I'll start with the Asian dick, move on up to the 3 inchers (hehe just kidding), go through all the Latinos and blacks, completely fuck every Mandingo warrior on the African continent (and Brooklyn) and then...what? Sit on a foot? How do we get there? I just want to know so I can avoid that path altogether. I mean, no real judgment here. I'm a ho. I like as much dick as I can get and I'm not shy about that. You can tell. You are reading this blog, after all. So obviously, right? But I like that my ass can close. And contrary to some people's opinions, it can. To quote Martha Stewart, I feel like "that's a good thing." Anyway, digressive interjection complete, he inspected my toes, decided that they too were well maintained, greased up my right foot and laid back so I could impale him up to the arch. Just to add a little drama to the moment, I wiggled my toes. Hee hee.
I was glad to see the session come to an end. Honestly. It wasn't even an hour, but it was just too damned messy. My delicate Libran sensibilities were all fucked up. By the time we were done, Crisco was every-fucking-where: all over my comforter, in a few splotches on the wall and even in my eye lid. This knucklehead got whipped into such a frenzy at one point that he was violently jerking his very flaccid penis. Because I was still kneeling on the mattress, he unintentionally flicked Crisco in my eyelashes. Dude! I got an eye infection several years back and had to wear a patch for a week. As if that weren't enough, we both had to shower. That meant Crisco was now going to be all up in the shower and on the bathroom floor. It's difficult to clean up. The next day I pulled a handful of his thick ass hair out of my drain. *Deep breath* (Putting it all behind me now). At least I got dry humped recently by J, the cute, tattoed, bi Italian guy from the next neighborhood over. Our sessions are so incredibly short and non invasive, but sensual and hot. (He's such a gay). That's why they always make me want so much more when he leaves. I always push his large load inside me and let it stay on my butt hole until it dries. When he left the last time, I enjoyed smelling his sweet cum on my fingers. Damn, I must be slipping because I didn't even try to eat it this time. All this talk about cream has me worked up. Love the links below and that's an order ;O) Sorry guys, but you gotta cut and paste.
http://video2.xtube.com/watch.php?v_user_id=sexy_secret09&idx=8&v=Dutel_S820_&cl=4ET5b_S820_&from=amateur_preview&ver=3&ccaa=1&qid=&qidx=&qnum=&preview_flag=
http://video2.xtube.com/watch.php?v_user_id=xxxbearxxx&idx=8&v=rwwg6_G520_&cl=eaHwp_G520_&from=&ver=3&ccaa=1&qid=&qidx=&qnum=&preview_flag=
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=144163541
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/creampieeatersofMassachusetts
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/malecreampie/?yguid=130888626
http://www.tube8.com/asian/hairy-asian-creampie/33380/
