sex warehouse

Last Saturday was the Miss America pageant, and my friend Gary held his annual Miss America party. But this year was like no other year. He had the thing organized down to the minute, including a "registration" area where you gave your your name, and the state you were born to receive your materials and official rules for the evening.

Each guest was given a state sash, a placard with your home state's contestant, and an official scoring sheet to make our picks on who we thought would win. We each paid $5 to participate and whoever receives the most points based on your selections during the show, takes home the money at the end of the night and is crowned Miss America.

It may sound crazy, but it is so much fun. You see, Gary is actively involved in the Miss American organization, where he has served as a judge and producer for several years and he is really, really, really into it. There were some other "pageant people" in attendance as well, and their commentary during the show about who was going to win, made me determined to beat them. After the two hour show, and our voices hoarse from yelling at the TV, Gary announced the Top 5 based on our points he tallied on this big red poster board.

The top 5 were from left to right, Gary's straight neighbor woman, Gary's friend Gary, my ex Dave Bornmann, me, and the host Gary. You may notice that I was trying to push Gary into the other room at this point, because he kept stepping in front of me. After we finished jockeying for position, the five of us were escorted out of the room and the rest of the group came up with interview questions that we answered as if we were a Miss American contestant. The audience clapped for the response they liked the best and we were assigned interview scores that were added to our previous totals.

After tabulating the final scores, it came down to Dave, me, and Gary. Dave had won the interview with the question, "What is your favorite Madonna song and why? And, could you sing us a verse?" Having dated Dave for a couple of years, I knew that he would pick "Vogue" and that he would also do the dance. So at this point, I was sure Dave had won.

So when they announced that Dave was 2nd Runner-up, Gary jumped into my arms with excitement and nearly knocked me over. Dave was trying to look like he was thrilled with winning 2nd Runner-up, but those of us who know him know that he was crushed on the inside.

It was now down to Gary and me. One of us was going to be crowned Miss America, and I really thought it was going to be Gary. At this point, I was preparing my very bitter 1st Runner-up face and how I would stomp off in a rage, tearing down some of the decorations on the way off the stage.

When Gary's boyfriend, Sean, announced that Gary was 1st Runner-up, I jumped up in the air. Less because I had won, and more because Gary didn't win. Not because I don't love Gary, because I do. But he takes it so seriously, that I got some sick satisfaction for beating him. Plus, it was nice to win the money.

Needless to say, Gary was a bit bitter and the more bitter he became, the more I rubbed it in by waving, bowing, and throwing kisses to the crowd.

But, when I looked down at the scores, I noticed the Gary had actually won from the beginning and only did the interview component to give someone else a chance to win. As a result, I stopped gloating and we started to act gracious like Miss America contestants should. Thanks Gary and Sean for such a fun night, and I expect to be invited back next year to give away my crown.

Marc was having a hankering for IHOP one evening, so we took a short road trip to Alexandria for some hot cakes and hash browns. Halfway through my overdone eggs, Marc asked me what was laying near my head on the back of the booth. When I turned around, I saw this, someone's dirty, bloody, yellow-stained band aid. Gross! It will be a cold day in hell before I go to another IHOP.

I have been staying at my friend Dan's condo for the past few weeks. Every night when I go to bed, I look up and see Dan's photo tribute to Bjork's video, "All is Full of Love." It is one of Dan's favorite videos, if not his favorite, and I love the colors and the layout of the photo spread. It is very cool.

That said, it is kinda creepy to wake up in the morning and see that Bjork robot staring at me. It has freaked me out on a couple of occasions when I wake up and have no idea where I am for a few short moments and think, "Have I been kidnapped by robot aliens?" I don't know if I will ever get used to it.

My friend Andi Farris sent this to me, and it cracked me up. What is the first word that pops into your head for the letters in "Rack 1" below.

After a heated argument on MSN with Shengrong about Mac lovers evangelising (SR: "I just want to share something good with you!"), I PROMPTLY GOT A VIRUS!

STUPID DUMB PCs. I wish virus creators would go create viruses for Macs instead so they would shut up! I know the former 2 sentences are not connected, but yeah.

So this time, my newly-bought comp, which I had JUST finished installing all the appropriate programs on, decided that, after a viral infection, it has no programs and no files on it!

The start menu shows that I have zero installed programs, although I can still run them from the "run" option thingy.

SO I HAD TO REFORMAT! And I lost my downloaded photoshop brushes and cursors! -GROWLS-

Anyway, boring stuff aside.

I AM SO BORED! All that happened today that was exciting with the mass circulation of the Edison Chen and Gillian Chung (and Bobo Chan, whoever she is) sex photos.


For those of you who haven't heard yet, apparently Gillian Chung was caught in a very compromising position (Legs spread wide open. I call it the Byebye Camera Angle) with Edison Chen's head popping up from a corner of the photo looking very pleased with himself.

From what I can gather, Gillian Chung has a very disgustingly hairy bush (Honestly woman, SHAVE/WAX/IPL/EPILATE! I guess she doesn't bother coz she knows that even if she doesn't shave, men like Edison still want to go down on her), a small pussy (perhaps obscured by the massive amounts of hair), mediocre tits, and very clean feet.

The second porno photo is of Edison Chen with his ex-gf Bobo Chan going down on him.

Bobo Chan is acknowledging the camera and is licking the tip of Edison's shiny pink member in its full glory. Now I can die in peace. At least I know Edison's size now!! All that's left is for me to see Jerry Yan's and I'll be quite pleased.

I am linking Cowboy Caleb, whom I have no idea or not whether he is linking the scandalous photos. The stars have made a police report and they are catching people who are spreading the photos! (Since Cowboy is anonymous he ought to be safe...)

Initially when I got the photos yesterday (I have a lot of gossipy friends), my first thought was that this is a hoax.

However, the person who hacked Edison's comp/hp must have gotten very angry with his photos being labeled everywhere as fake, so he spread a new series of photos...



And this made everyone shut up.

Obviously I cannot post the photo without it being mosaic-ed, but look at the faces! How can anyone find so many photos Gillian, including a Cum Face?!

Well anyway, in this series, the first one had Edison touching Gillian's ahem, and the rest has his face at the peril of being drowned in her award-winning pubes. I must say, he seems to be doing a good job! Gillian looks really pleased in pic 4.

Proof no. 2 that this is real?


The bear, bed, toys that were seen in the photos all coincide with Edison's room shown in a MTV!

Have no idea why when freeze-framed Edison Chen looks disturbingly like Dick Lee.

Edison Chen is such a douchebag!

Before this incident, I've already heard rumours of people whom he had fucked before (and he ALLEGEDLY tries to film them too), and even a friend's friend who claimed who have had cybersex with him and saw his wee-wee via webcam.

Well, now we know... probably true!

That being said, he IS very handsome, so I suppose it is good that he is so willing to share his body and make many girls' wishes come true. My phone number is... -SLAPS SELF- ... is... erm... unavailable as I am attached. Ahem.

I was discussing with friends online and theorizing why Gillian Chung would be so stupid as to let Edison take such photos of her.


MAYBE she was high on something and couldn't think straight?

MAYBE she thought that Edison would never spread the picture since he is famous too?

MAYBE she didn't know the photos were taken? (Unlikely as Edison was clearly acknowledging camera)

MAYBE she is really a dirty slutwhore who was the one who spread the photos herself?! Well this seems impossible since if she were to plan on doing this she would have at least went for a good wax first...



Well, I guess we will never really know, will we?

And don't give me that bullcrap about pitying poor Gillian!! She, along with many examples of other celebrities who also took naughty pictures only to have them exposed later, had it all coming! If you don't want your vagina to be shown to the world and criticized, then don't take photos of it!! -_-

I am awaiting video clips.

Zzzzzzzzz. I can't believe I blogged about this. It's so stupid! Hahaha... But very juicy!

Next blog entry gonna be about my best purchases ever. I know I said that since long ago, but I already took and uploaded the photos! Soon soon!

p/s: While installing Picasa for the hundredth time I found a photo of myself circa March 2006... With a fabulous tan!! And my old nose, which is double of this size.


I'm totally inspired and shall force myself to go tan everyday till I look this colour again.





CECILIA CHEUNG PHOTOS ARE NOW RELEASED!!

There is even a full-on byebye shot and the picture is so high-res, you can literally zoom in until your whole computer screen is just her vagina!!

She is super hairy leh... Maybe Edison just likes hairy girls?! That must be a 5cm pubic hair there!! (PS - that's a cut-out of one of her pics, but I obviously can't show the rest! Go find them yourself!)

I am doing another consulting project at the Advisory Board until the end of March, supporting the launch of a couple of new research initiatives and traveling around to hospitals across the US. My most recent trip was to Midland, Texas. I sat next to this guy, who was certifiably crazy. When I first sat down, I thought he was drunk or on heroin. He was sitting in the middle seat with both arm rests pushed up and his legs spread open into my seat. When I put the arm rest down, he did not move his leg, so I said, "I am this seat here." He slowly turned his head and had trouble focusing in on me, and said nothing nor did he move his leg. "Sir, are you ok? Do you need help?" Still nothing. "OK, sir, we are going to have some real problems if you don't move your legs and stay in your seat because I paid for this one." At this point, he mumbled, "You are not very nice, are you?" I said, "Not to people who won't get out of my seat, now move." He moved very little and kept pushing his leg against mine, so I was annoyed the entire flight. He stayed in this position, staring at the seat belt sign and sometimes smiling, for the entire flight. I wonder how people like this make it in the world.

It was late evening when I finally landed in Midland, so it was dark when I drove to the "downtown" Hilton and checked into my room. When I woke up the next morning and opened the curtains, I was directly across from "the" tall building in Midland. It was a beautiful morning and with the flat land and clear skies, I could see for miles.

But what struck me the most was that there was no traffic downtown during rush hour. In fact, I barely saw anyone driving or walking around Midland. It was so still and quiet. The silence still haunts me.

My latest article for Suicide Girls went up this morning at 6AM Pacific Time. Like all of the SG columnists, I am now monthly rather than weekly, as we were for the first half of 2007, or bi-weekly as we were for the rest of last year. It sucks. But apparently management over there figures people look at the site for the titties and not the articles. They're wrong. The articles they have over there are really good. Go read some of them. I'll be posting once a month. Unless they decide to make us all like bi-annually or something.

Anyway, it's up there. I'll be interested to see the reaction to this one. I never know when I'm saying stuff that's controversial. I wish I did. Sometimes I'll put something out there that feels really edgy to me and nobody even notices. Other times I'll put something up that seems ridiculously trivial and everybody goes hog wild over it. I'm not even gonna jinx this one by saying how I feel about it.

Yesterday I walked into a Goodwill in downtown Los Angeles and started looking through a stack of records in the back. Seasoned Goodwill record shopper that I am, I expected to find the usual pile of unknown disco 12 inch singles, polka records and copies of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. But lo and behold what do I find but a stack of like 15 Bruce Springsteen vinyl bootlegs. Most are live shows from the 70s, but a couple are collections of unreleased studio out-takes. I'm not a big Bruce nut, but I can tell these are worth a lot more than the 99 cents a piece I paid for them. Anyone who knows their stuff about The Boss, please write me and I'll tell you what I got. I was enjoying some of them last night. There was also a double LP of a Peter Gabriel show at the Roxy in 1977 and the legendary Who bootleg, Who's Zoo. Pretty neat.

Here's the list of upcoming out-of-town events again:

February 29 - March 2 Retreat at the Atlanta Soto Zen Center. I don't have contact info yet. So just check the webpage & see who it says to contact for info.

April 25 - 27 Retreat at Southern Dharma Retreat Center in North Carolina. Again, I don't have contact info, so check the website.

May 4th 0DFX gig at Kent State University (May 4th, 1970 was the day four students were shot by the National Guard at Kent State, the event immortalized in Neil Young's song "Ohio")

August 9-16 I'll be one of the teachers at the Great Sky Sesshin in Southern Minnesota. The webpage is still last year's info. But it's pretty much the same deal each year.

The annual Dogen Sangha Zen Retreat will be held in Shizuoka, Japan in early September and I'm planning to be there as well.

Last week, my current roommate, Daren, was watching Jake, his ex-boyfriend Chris' dog. Jake is getting very old, has been having trouble walking, and had a seizure like episode a few days before we started to watch him. Chris had been taking him to the vet regularly and they had assumed the symptoms were from arthritis, because of Jake's size. One morning, I woke up to Jake having a seizure in my bedroom (freakiest thing I have ever seen) so Daren took Jake for another trip to the vet, who encouraged an ultrasound to check for potential tumor in the spleen. That evening, Daren noticed he was dragging his left hind paw when he walked, which was concerning. That night, after Daren went to bed, Jake was licking his abdomen on both sides pretty aggressively, and he was drinking a lot more water than normal, and had eaten very little. The next morning, Daren called Jake's vet, explained those symptoms, and we were encouraged to take him to the animal hospital immediately.

Upon our arrival, the vet who looked at Jake told us a story about his 14-year old golden retriever and how he had died from an aggressive form of cancer found in the breed. Daren's face fell, and a wave of grief and despair fell over him, so I started to communicate with the vet, listening to every word and writing it all down so I could call Chris, who was in California for work, to let him know what was happening.

As they performed the ultrasound on Jake's spleen and abdomen, I could clearly see the tumor and I was looking at the reaction of the techs who were helping to hold Jake. They were smiling when it started, and then quickly there were not, so I knew it was serious. The doctor announced rather casually to Daren, "Yes, Jake has a large tumor in his spleen."

When the vet was finished with the ultrasound, he took a few x-rays while Daren and I waiting in the exam room. I had a feeling that Jake would be having emergency surgery given the size of the tumor, the location, and Jake's current symptoms, so I started to prepare Daren for the possibility. When the doctor came into the room, he was pretty direct and candid about the situation and encouraged surgery that afternoon to remove the spleen and tumor. I called Chris, explained everything, he quickly spoke to the vet, and authorized the surgery.

The picture above is Daren with Jake in the hospital the day after he had surgery to remove the tumor. Daren and Chris are both very close to Jake and this has not been easy on either of them. Jake is back with Daren, as Chris had to return to California for work. He is in pain, is having trouble walking, but for his age and the surgery he went through, he is doing remarkably well. Chris and Daren are awaiting the biopsy results to determine the next course of care for Jake, and may face some emotionally challenging decisions given the results. All I know, is that Jake is one of the better dogs I have ever met, and I wish him good health and a speedy recovery.

While I was home for Christmas, I asked my brother to take the picture slides that we have not seen in 20 years and make digital prints of them for my upcoming 40th birthday. He put these on his blog the other day and I could not stop laughing.

The death of Heath Ledger is sad and tragic. But on the whole, it is no more tragic than the 155,000 other people that died that day, and everyday. I understand why we get so fixated on famous people when they die, especially when they die young and have a life so full of promise. But it feels wrong to give Heath Ledger world-wide attention, when most of us can't name any of the other 154,999 people who also died that day. If I hear one more news story full of speculation without any evidence or hear any more discussions about whether this helps or hurts the Batman movie being released this summer, I am going to throw something at my TV.

Vince Anilla of Still Point Zen Center in Detroit sent me this nice story about Kobun Chino, teacher of my first Zen teacher.

As a master of Zen archery, Kobun was asked to teach a course at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California. The target was set up on a beautiful grassy area on the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Kobun took his bow, notched the arrow, took careful aim, and shot. The arrow sailed high over the target, went past the railing, beyond the cliff, only to plunge into the ocean far below. Kobun looked happily at the shocked students and shouted, "Bull's eye!!"

That's the fundamental attitude in Zen. It's important to take careful aim. But you can't ever know where your practice will lead. Don't get all flamboozled if it flies over the cliff and lands in the ocean.

As I get deeper and deeper into it, I find that Buddhism is nothing at all like what I expected it to be. And it's sure as hell nothing like all of our great pop culture pundits of Buddhism say it is. It might be that Buddhism is the act of aiming the arrow that is your life.

Life lands you in all kinds of funky-ass situations. You have to act out of where you really are, not out of some ideal of where you think you ought to be. That whole "ought to" business is just a waste of time anyway. It's never what it ought to be. You can't do what you ought to do.

In 2007 my whole life was turned upside down and shaken thoroughly. Yet here I am, living on the beach in California in a lovely and peaceful old house among surroundings so beautiful and idyllic they make me want to weep. I'm not who I ought to be. I don't do what I ought to do. I don't even know what I ought to do anymore. I don't care.

Occasionally someone sends me an e-mail or posts something to this blog about what I ought to be, or say, or do. I used to care. Isn't that funny? Caring about what people think I ought to be, say or do has never led to anything but misery.

But I do care deeply about taking aim.

Expose your life to public scrutiny and everyone will nitpick and chime in with some half-baked opinion. Fuck 'em.

Take aim carefully and let your arrow-life fly.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

I have like 160 photos to post and I need to get to Munkysuperstar by 3pm tomorrow! And it's 4am now! So chop chop!!

You know how at the start of Ugly Betty they will flash all these stripey faces? (Btw Ugly Betty is like my new favourite TV show coz every episode is just so cheerful and funny)

I had enough of those mysterious faces! WHO ARE ALL THESE UGLY PEOPLE?! How they look like if they had no swapped features?! Would they look good?

Here's what they let us see:


(No, I'm serious. Also, for those of you who didn't already know, Heath Ledger died like yesterday.)


I know they don't look completely right, but these are the best fit I could find! I KNOW! How can someone be half blonde and half brunette right? WHATEVER! If you think you can do better go do it!


Qihua and I did our nails:

They are really chio but the diamantes keep snagging on stuff! My hair, satin clothes, etc etc. Really annoying.

My latest efforts in my attempt to buy every single thing in pink: Contact lens.

CHIO NOT! I bought it from some spree, and the contacts have pink hearts on them plus a dark black rim to make your pupils bigger. It's chio (but a little too big for my irises as you can see)!

Went with Qihua to get her new kitty cat:



NIAP NIAP is its name! Isn't it just fucking cute or what!?!?!

It's a Persian Flatface and it's Baileys-coloured. I helped her choose it!

It is a pedigree that cost $1,400. (got up to like Great great grandfather's name and they all sound damn aristocratic like Javiar King of Hearts II or something like that... Unfortunately the kitty's original given name is Jaffa... Well now it's Niap niap, so I think old Javiar might flip in his grave if he knew how un-regal his great-great-grandchild's name is...)

Sibeh cute la! The kitty is very calm and sedated one... and it's super snuggly lor! I think I have officially changed from a dog person to a cat person leh!

Dogs are damn jumpy (most of the time) and always try to lick you and shit... Cats just crawl up to your lap and lie there purring and sometimes pawing your tummy.

Anyway Niap Niap somehow got himself some ringworms and is now shaved bald. Oh well.


Just in case you are thinking I'm mad to wear make-up for a 20 hour flight, you are wrong! All I had on was eyelash extensions for my top lashes! The "coloured contacts" and "lower lash mascara" are all added by my leet photoshop skills. Teeheeheehee!


So unfortunately for us, just when we were about to board the plane there, they decided to load the plane's food on, so Mike and I were stuck in the open air area between the plane and the walkway.

LUCKY OR NOT?!

While the people loaded their shit, we stood there in the muthafucking cold for like 10 mins lor! I almost died I was so cold! And the snow fell onto my head! (that part was kinda nice coz the snow is very fluffy... but I was concentrating more on how my fingers were all numb even under Mike's armpits)

Finally, we reached Dallas, Texas. Mike's mom came to fetch us.


US houses are so nice... Everyone's got carpet and there are NO INSECTS coz it's winter!

They even have an attic I climbed into. I touched the fluffy white stuff on the floor of the attic (it looks like cotton wool) and Mike shouted "DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!" at me.

Turns out it's shaved fibre-glass which insulates the house but is deadly to the touch. I could have dead!!



I kept pestering Mike to bring me to the mall, which is a good half-hour drive away. He drove me there and waited stoically at the bookstore for 3 hours, which pisses him off really bad.

WHY MUST ALL (ok, most straight) GUYS HATE SHOPPING??? And what's with the crowd phobia? They get all angsty and stressed when there are more people around? I don't get it.


When I stepped into the store I felt like I was stepping into the inside of my head! Everything is fluffy, pink, and frivolous! LOVE!


Mike and I in his mom's, Ann's, car... Ann was really sweet to us and even rented a car for us while we were there! She's really nice! I like her! And I'm not just saying that coz she might read this, which I hope she won't because I use expletives. Which doesn't mean I am not a good type of girl. Ahem.


That little black pan with the orange gloop on it is... ok it's some Mexican name that I cannot spell. But anyway, it is Chili mixed with melted cheese and it is damn super duper yummy!

Chili is not our traditional kind... it's a little like curry but it's dark brown and it has chunks of soft beef and sometimes also beans inside it. Very nice with corn chips!


Mike's cousin and best friend Kellet who says he wants to be on the blog and famous, haha... He is an army ranger!




It was a lovely crisp day so Mike, his brothers, and I ventured outside to hang out.

Everyone was dressed in a black top and jeans for professional photo-taking! Stupid Mike didn't tell me until the last min (ie, day before) that this was the plan, so my special Christmasy green dress which I specially brought to US for photos was not used. Boys! He didn't think it was very important, he says!

And I had no other black top but a lousy black turtleneck and my jeans were so blah! (Tucked into cream cowboy boots)

I wish I had a black shift dress that I could pair with black leggings and black, patent oxfords. And maybe gloves? Satin black gloves. Maybe a white belt and a white hairband so it doesn't look so funeralish. OK... Thinking too much. The event is over!


So cute right! Their eye colours are (from left) greenish-brown, Hazel (sometimes blue, sometimes brown), dark blue, and light blue.

Dad's eye colour is green and mom's is grey.

Their hair colour is all the same though! Ashy brown? Mike's feels a bit green to me sometimes.

I was talking to Mike's mom about her sons eye colours and I asked her if it is a big deal to Caucasian mothers the moment their newborn babies open their eyes, because isn't it a mystery? It could take on mom's colour, or dad's, or something else isn't it?

She laughed and told me that most white babies are born with blondish hair and dark-blue eyes, so it's not that exciting. It is only later than their eye colours change and their hair darkens to their final colour.

SO COOL RIGHT? WILL CHANGE SOMEMORE!

IF I HAVE A EURASIAN BABY WILL MY BABY ALSO HAVE DARK BLUE EYES?! Exciting.


Mike + cousins (minus Kelly who is missing) who are ALL BOYS?! He says the boy gene runs very strongly in his family so I should be prepared for boy babies if I ever marry him.

-_-

I'm going to fucking give birth 20 times until I get a girl lor, I DON'T CARE. I don't want boys, boys are dirty and smelly! Girl I can buy her pink stuff (I don't care if she doesn't like pink, I'd make her like it) and tie her hair!!

Anyway, I was also invited to take photos with the family!!

I am semi-family now! I am in Xmas photos!

Since I was standing on the edge (of the group), I delibrately put my arm around Mike's waist so that just in case he breaks up with me, they cannot crop me entirely away!! MY ARM WILL ALWAYS BE THERE!! MUAHAHAAHA! Evil not!!!


I imagine this scenario in future:

Mike's future slut girlfriend who is completely incomparable to me is at Mike's mom's place for the first time.

Future slut girlfriend (who is also fat): Is that your family portrait on the wall?

Mike: Yup, taken Xmas 2007.

FSG: You seemed very happy then.

Mike: Was not bad.

FSG: How come you are staring lovingly into... nothingness?

Mike: Eh...

FSG: Wait... A PART OF THIS PHOTO WAS CUT OFF!!

Mike: How did you... why do you say so? It wasn't.

FSG (raises a fat, jiggly arm to point at portrait): That is a cropped off hand of a girl!

Mike: Oh yeah that's my ex... Remember the one I cheated on with you? Yup.

FSG: But you told me she was a slutwhore whom your family and friends disagreed on! AND that she's fatter than me! You said she's like at least 50 pounds fatter! Which means she's like 350 pounds!

Mike: She is!

FSG: HER HAND IS SO NOT FAT. Show me this photo in its entirety!


Mike hesitates but his mom, who has been eavesdropping, rushes out with the non-cut-off photo and presents it to FSG.

Mike: Mommmmmm........ Why?

Ann shrugs, whispers: Son, you can do better than a whale. Look at you! You are handsome!

FSG: OMG OMG SHE IS GORGEOUS! I OUGHTA EAT SHIT AND DIE! WHY????! Why would you cheat on her with ME?

Mike, muttering to himself: I guess I was just a tad sick of screwing a perfect girl...

FSG goes on: She's like 100 times hotter! Is she smart? Tell me she is totally stupid or I'll just die right here.

Mike keeps quiet.

Mike's mom, whispering loudly to cat: She was in Mensa, wasn't she, kitty kitty?

(FSG runs out of the house in terror, and even falls down comically on the frontstep, leaving Mike to totally regret his decision to cheat on me)

Yup. That oughta be good.


At around this time, I started being sick... On Xmas day it became a full-blown fever.

Despite this, I still insisted we go to Northpark Mall, the upmarket mall an hour's drive away that houses Juicy Couture (among all the other big brands)!!

After all, this was the main highlight of my trip! Besides spending a REAL Xmas of course...


Inside Neiman Marcus, which also sells Juicy stuff.

But that's not what I wanted. What I wanted was...


For a whole half hour I spent inside there, my fever disappeared.

(I'll show u guys what I bought later.)

Humongous crab legs that Ann cooked for the family one day! (compare to a normal-sized salt shaker)

IT IS SO SUPER YUMMY I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

I used to think that eating crab legs was stupid coz the crabs we eat in Singapore have puny legs, but snow legs have very big legs apparently!

Definitely comparable to eating the claws or body - and plus the shell is very easily removed so it's much more fuss-free.

We had an awesome meal with the crab legs... Simply oven-heated and dipped in melted butter. Oh my goodness, so good!


Can you imagine if I separate the top and bottom part of the nail a little bit you can see blood and pink flesh inside the crack!? Ewww! And fucking painful!



BTW in case you are wondering what happened, after a few days the top part of the nail just DROPPED OFF! It didn't hurt, just that the part that was supposed to be covered by my nail just felt a bit tender, that's all.


I miss it! It likes to cuddle up in warm stuff (laps, clothes, bedsheets) and purr when you stroke up. It especially likes Mike's squishy belly (which admittedly I like a lot too. I see the appeal).

It would suddenly have a change of temperament and bite though!


Mike's treat at Red Lobster. Prawns, jumbo scallops and lobster tail! Yum, yum and yum.

We go back to Singapore after 3 very cold but very enjoyable weeks.

Transit in St Paul, Minneapolis again, and it's snowing outside on New Year's Eve.


I know that snowflakes are shaped like that, but I never thought that every single snow that falls from the sky forms 1 flake! I tot one drop of snow is made of many flakes that can only be seen under the microscope or something!

But no! The snow keeps hitting onto our plane's window and even time it hits, it creates a beautiful symmetrical pattern! Nature's quite wonderful sometimes, isn't it?

Those little fluffy flakes of white makes me quite happy, and I totally don't regret having a snowflake tattoo now. Hahaha!


Ever wondered what those big round plastic backing of the business class seats contain?

The answer is...


That's right.

It's just an empty, useless space.

Its sole purpose of existing is to taunt us Economy people even more.

Says the seat backing: "Oh you poor people! Can't afford business? No space for your legs? Ha! Not only does Business Class have space for legs, we also have EXTRA space that we put to no good use! What do you mean we can give that space to economic passengers? Why would we? YOU THINK WE ARE COMMUNISTS NOW, HUH? Nope, I'd rather put that precious airplane space to no good use at all. That's right. Being poor sucks, doesn't it?"


....


Now for my US shopping! I don't care if you are bored by now, I just wanna show off all my awesome buys!

US shopping is FANTASTIC man! Things are actually much more fashionable here, and the quality is really good (as compared to like Bugis Village kinda quality, if you get what I mean) and they have really, really nice stuff!

Ann recommended DFW (Dallas Fort Worth) shoes, much to Mike's displeasure, which is humougous place completely filled with designer shoes at really low prices.


They totally don't have my size (5) but it's too chio to miss so I bought one in 7 for myself and one in 9 for Shuyin!

Both are too big but nvm lor, can stuff tissue in front!


The Steve Maddens at USD59.90 (and still looks the part) are now USD11.99!!! Can faint or not?

Forever 21 is my favourite shop in the mall. Things are super duper cheap there, and like, the most expensive thing there is possibly... 30 USD? Which is 45 Sg bucks maybe?

I dug through their sales rack for around 4 hours (there is a lot of clothes there) and bought a multitude of things from 0.99 to 7.99. The best thing is, all the summer clothes are on sale, and unlike the fucking annoying Forever 21 in Singapore where the size available is only L, everything there is XS and S!

AWESOME RIGHT?

How many times have you been inside Forever 21 in Singapore, found something you like, only to be told you can't get it because only fucking L (or worse, XL) is left?!

WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR BEING NOT FAT?!

If there are so many people sized S in Singapore, why is F21 stocking in so many GODDAMN Ms and Ls for?

And if something is only left in L, why don't they put all these clothes into a separate part of the store for fat people, so I DON'T FUCKING SEE THESE CLOTHES AND NOT BE ABLE TO BUY IT?!

This is actually getting me pissed off. I hate hate hate it when I see stuff in L I can't get!

From now on I'll only buy F21 stuff from the website.

To happier stuff:


IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME. The shoes were all lying on the floor and they were all so so pretty but nobody wanted to buy them because... the only size left was 5.5 and angmohs cannot wear that.

So I grabbed them up! I ought to have bought more but my luggage was full to burst, not to mention very close to being overweight...


Pink satin with brown polka dots.

Very pretty right?! There is a luggage place in the mall where you can get all sorts of designs from leopard print to yellow polka dots and the luggages are like 20.99 for the small ones to 49.99 for the bigass ones. Mine is 29.99 I think, Medium.

From Walmart:


Watermelon flavour deodorant!

Singapore's choices are so limited... Now if you smell watermelon near to me you'll know it comes from my armpits, haha...


The polishes are like 4 USD. They cost $13 each in Singapore!

I reckon the best brands to buy in US for cheap are F21, Coach, and Sally Hansen. Nods sagely.


I don't understand what's with all the cavity-protection, or whitening, or total protection whatever...

How many percent of toothpaste is just foam anyway? Can't they just DUMP ALL THESE ATTRIBUTES INTO A SINGLE PASTE?

What happens if I buy 5 tubes of paste with different properties and mix them? Does it mean I get whiter, brighter teeth with fresher breath and at the same time get total protection plus a green tea flavour?

I don't give a shit!

Just make a chio-looking toothpaste and I assure you toothpaste makers that there will be mindless females who will buy them!

I'm thinking a baby pink Juicy Couture toothpaste. Squeezes out in a light pink paste with and the shape of a crown! Or or... a jet black Chanel one with a white logo and black diamante cap. YOU TELL ME YOU WON'T BUY THEM!?!


I bought another one that is black, has a bunny on it too, and reads "I am not spoilt, I deserve all my stuff" and it mysteriously disappeared! Qihua says the cat probably carried it off somewhere coz Niap niap does that. :(


NOW TO JUICY STUFF!

Mike's Xmas present for me:


Set of 3 bracelets that writes "For Nice Girls Who Like Stuff". I super love it so much lor... I look at it and tear in joy. Ok, being a bit dramatic. My bf is the best!!!




Small bottle of Juicy perfume bought in Walmart for 12 bucks. Urgh, it doesn't smell very nice! But it's chio. :D



Bracelets from Claire. The wood one was on 80% discount or something!

AND STUFF FROM F21!!!

Starting from accessories:


First day I went, I saw Navy in XS and Pink in M, so I bought both, thinking the pink is too chio to miss so I'll wear it a tad loose. Next day, I saw pink in XS too! So I bought it and give the M to Shuyin (who is wearing it loose too, haha!).


The sequins trend haven't even started to really hit Singapore, (shops are selling but not many people wearing yet) but in US, the sequined stuff are already starting to go on sale.


Casual shorts. 7.99 or something? They are really cheap la! I'm not gonna mention price from now on coz all the clothes are around 5 bucks each.


I saw it in Vivo City in (what else?) size L and is selling for some atrocious price.



I saw this at the mall and was super surprised to see fake products being sold in US. Turns out it's not illegal coz there is no Fendi logo on the bag!

I super love this bag lor, it is has a total of EIGHT compartments and the inner lining is also baby pink and has the brown leather trim.

$25.99. Sing dollar $38!


These VS bags are madness... 12 bucks for the 2, and 16 for the gold. As if that's not cheap enough, each of these bags contain 3 largish bottles of moisturiser, body mist and shower foam or something. Which means 12 bucks for a chio bag and 3 bottles of toileries!

This means that bag and each toiletry is 4.5 Sing dollars each.

I gave all the bottles to Mike's mom coz I know I won't really use them (9 bottles how to use all?!) and my luggage was already so full.


I don't know what got into me, but the santarina outfits were really too FUCKING CUTE TO RESIST!

I bought them and told myself it's gonna be next Halloween's outfits.


I don't know who the hell can wear the ribbon on the ass skirt... Afterall it only has a very flippable ribbon covering the ass!

I had no idea how much I spent shopping... but now I do, due to this bill:



Lastly, MY XMAS PRESSIES!


I must go back to Thailand to give my thanks to the four-sided god. I prayed to him eons ago that I should get a good bf and now I got one!!

Got some more pictures but I'm too tired to continue this! It's now 8am, JESUS!



Please watch new shows!!


Qihua and Paul Twohill are in a new show! In each episode they pit each other on and do various challenges. Who will you vote for, and can you really eat a spoonful of cinnamon? Check it out! CLICK.


In this episode, I give away my ultimately sacred recipe. I'm secretly an awesome chef. CLICK.




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