Last Saturday was the Miss America pageant, and my friend Gary held his annual Miss America party. But this year was like no other year. He had the thing organized down to the minute, including a "registration" area where you gave your your name, and the state you were born to receive your materials and official rules for the evening.
Each guest was given a state sash, a placard with your home state's contestant, and an official scoring sheet to make our picks on who we thought would win. We each paid $5 to participate and whoever receives the most points based on your selections during the show, takes home the money at the end of the night and is crowned Miss America.
It may sound crazy, but it is so much fun. You see, Gary is actively involved in the Miss American organization, where he has served as a judge and producer for several years and he is really, really, really into it. There were some other "pageant people" in attendance as well, and their commentary during the show about who was going to win, made me determined to beat them. After the two hour show, and our voices hoarse from yelling at the TV, Gary announced the Top 5 based on our points he tallied on this big red poster board.
The top 5 were from left to right, Gary's straight neighbor woman, Gary's friend Gary, my ex Dave Bornmann, me, and the host Gary. You may notice that I was trying to push Gary into the other room at this point, because he kept stepping in front of me. After we finished jockeying for position, the five of us were escorted out of the room and the rest of the group came up with interview questions that we answered as if we were a Miss American contestant. The audience clapped for the response they liked the best and we were assigned interview scores that were added to our previous totals.
After tabulating the final scores, it came down to Dave, me, and Gary. Dave had won the interview with the question, "What is your favorite Madonna song and why? And, could you sing us a verse?" Having dated Dave for a couple of years, I knew that he would pick "Vogue" and that he would also do the dance. So at this point, I was sure Dave had won.
So when they announced that Dave was 2nd Runner-up, Gary jumped into my arms with excitement and nearly knocked me over. Dave was trying to look like he was thrilled with winning 2nd Runner-up, but those of us who know him know that he was crushed on the inside.
It was now down to Gary and me. One of us was going to be crowned Miss America, and I really thought it was going to be Gary. At this point, I was preparing my very bitter 1st Runner-up face and how I would stomp off in a rage, tearing down some of the decorations on the way off the stage.
When Gary's boyfriend, Sean, announced that Gary was 1st Runner-up, I jumped up in the air. Less because I had won, and more because Gary didn't win. Not because I don't love Gary, because I do. But he takes it so seriously, that I got some sick satisfaction for beating him. Plus, it was nice to win the money.
Needless to say, Gary was a bit bitter and the more bitter he became, the more I rubbed it in by waving, bowing, and throwing kisses to the crowd.
But, when I looked down at the scores, I noticed the Gary had actually won from the beginning and only did the interview component to give someone else a chance to win. As a result, I stopped gloating and we started to act gracious like Miss America contestants should. Thanks Gary and Sean for such a fun night, and I expect to be invited back next year to give away my crown.
Last Saturday was the Miss America pageant, and my friend Gary held his annual Miss America party. But this year was like no other year. He had the thing organized down to the minute, including a "registration" area where you gave your your name, and the state you were born to receive your materials and official rules for the evening. 
Each guest was given a state sash, a placard with your home state's contestant, and an official scoring sheet to make our picks on who we thought would win. We each paid $5 to participate and whoever receives the most points based on your selections during the show, takes home the money at the end of the night and is crowned Miss America. 
It may sound crazy, but it is so much fun. You see, Gary is actively involved in the Miss American organization, where he has served as a judge and producer for several years and he is really, really, really into it. There were some other "pageant people" in attendance as well, and their commentary during the show about who was going to win, made me determined to beat them. After the two hour show, and our voices hoarse from yelling at the TV, Gary announced the Top 5 based on our points he tallied on this big red poster board. 
The top 5 were from left to right, Gary's straight neighbor woman, Gary's friend Gary, my ex Dave Bornmann, me, and the host Gary. You may notice that I was trying to push Gary into the other room at this point, because he kept stepping in front of me. After we finished jockeying for position, the five of us were escorted out of the room and the rest of the group came up with interview questions that we answered as if we were a Miss American contestant. The audience clapped for the response they liked the best and we were assigned interview scores that were added to our previous totals. 
After tabulating the final scores, it came down to Dave, me, and Gary. Dave had won the interview with the question, "What is your favorite Madonna song and why? And, could you sing us a verse?" Having dated Dave for a couple of years, I knew that he would pick "Vogue" and that he would also do the dance. So at this point, I was sure Dave had won. 
So when they announced that Dave was 2nd Runner-up, Gary jumped into my arms with excitement and nearly knocked me over. Dave was trying to look like he was thrilled with winning 2nd Runner-up, but those of us who know him know that he was crushed on the inside.
It was now down to Gary and me. One of us was going to be crowned Miss America, and I really thought it was going to be Gary. At this point, I was preparing my very bitter 1st Runner-up face and how I would stomp off in a rage, tearing down some of the decorations on the way off the stage.
When Gary's boyfriend, Sean, announced that Gary was 1st Runner-up, I jumped up in the air. Less because I had won, and more because Gary didn't win. Not because I don't love Gary, because I do. But he takes it so seriously, that I got some sick satisfaction for beating him. Plus, it was nice to win the money. 
Needless to say, Gary was a bit bitter and the more bitter he became, the more I rubbed it in by waving, bowing, and throwing kisses to the crowd.
But, when I looked down at the scores, I noticed the Gary had actually won from the beginning and only did the interview component to give someone else a chance to win. As a result, I stopped gloating and we started to act gracious like Miss America contestants should. Thanks Gary and Sean for such a fun night, and I expect to be invited back next year to give away my crown.
