Vince Anilla of Still Point Zen Center in Detroit sent me this nice story about Kobun Chino, teacher of my first Zen teacher.
As a master of Zen archery, Kobun was asked to teach a course at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California. The target was set up on a beautiful grassy area on the edge of a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Kobun took his bow, notched the arrow, took careful aim, and shot. The arrow sailed high over the target, went past the railing, beyond the cliff, only to plunge into the ocean far below. Kobun looked happily at the shocked students and shouted, "Bull's eye!!"
That's the fundamental attitude in Zen. It's important to take careful aim. But you can't ever know where your practice will lead. Don't get all flamboozled if it flies over the cliff and lands in the ocean.
As I get deeper and deeper into it, I find that Buddhism is nothing at all like what I expected it to be. And it's sure as hell nothing like all of our great pop culture pundits of Buddhism say it is. It might be that Buddhism is the act of aiming the arrow that is your life.
Life lands you in all kinds of funky-ass situations. You have to act out of where you really are, not out of some ideal of where you think you ought to be. That whole "ought to" business is just a waste of time anyway. It's never what it ought to be. You can't do what you ought to do.
In 2007 my whole life was turned upside down and shaken thoroughly. Yet here I am, living on the beach in California in a lovely and peaceful old house among surroundings so beautiful and idyllic they make me want to weep. I'm not who I ought to be. I don't do what I ought to do. I don't even know what I ought to do anymore. I don't care.
Occasionally someone sends me an e-mail or posts something to this blog about what I ought to be, or say, or do. I used to care. Isn't that funny? Caring about what people think I ought to be, say or do has never led to anything but misery.
But I do care deeply about taking aim.
Expose your life to public scrutiny and everyone will nitpick and chime in with some half-baked opinion. Fuck 'em.
Take aim carefully and let your arrow-life fly.
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
