JMU made me a very cynical person and honestly, I couldn’t be happier with that fact. The amount of respect you get for being the bitch who says what everyone else is thinking, is well, priceless.
But to get where I am today took a couple of years. It took years of just watching these girls, no these women, who at first I thought were just a little desperate and naïve. Turns out, they were just stupid.
If you went to JMU then you know the JMU Syndrome. There are two types of this syndrome: the male version and the female version.
The male version is quite simple. One semester at JMU and all of a sudden these men think they can drink anyone under the table, fuck any girl they want and never have to get use condoms because their penises are immune to any type of STD.
When in reality, most of them are light-weights, who piss on themselves “accidently” and are so drunk that they can’t really tell if the “girl” that is hitting on them is, in fact, actually a girl in a beige trench-coatlike dress, or in actuality is Inspector Gadget, but is willing to take the chance.
The female version is a little harder to watch. Most of the girls were at some point smart in their earlier years, but realized quickly that the men at JMU like their girls just the same way like their eggs: over-easy. You know those girls too; their fave song comes on at a party, most likely of the Beiber genre, there hands go up and it’s done, someone is getting blown in a 100 meter radius.
Now as a female graduate from this party school, I will be there first to say that yes this is a generalization, and that yes of course there are plenty of men and women at that school who are smart and hilarious and cool. And if I’m your friend then I probably don’t think you are a douche or a whore.
But let’s be honest, stereotypes start with a grain of truth, and the amount of ridiculously stupid and whorey girls at JMU is appalling. And I’m mostly likely going to make fun of you behind your back and to your face, because you probably won’t get the joke anyways.
