While perusing Urbandictionary.com, I quickly realized the web site is lacking on sexual terms for women. No, not things like Superman that hoe or angry pirate, I’m talking about phrases that are the equivalent to M.I.L.F.
Yeah, sure, we women have D.I.L.F. (Dad I’d Like to Fuck) and silver fox (old man with gray hair I’d like to fuck). But where’s the originality? Where is the underlying racism?
Seeing as I’m such a creative racist, I’ve taken the liberty to coin a few terms, which are all pretty much the same, but whatever they are still awesome. It’s time to be more organized with our sexual relations. And quite honestly, more racist.
1. B.G.I.F.
Now this one is my favorite and coined by my best friend and I. We all have that one Black Guy I’d Fuck. We’ve all seen him. We’ve all stared at him like a Mexican construction worker. He’s beautiful. He’s burly. And yes ladies, He’s black. He’s the Terrance Howard’s of the world. The Danny Glover’s. What? Don't judge (or I'll call you a racist) have you not seen Lethal Weapon 4?
2. J.I.L.F.
Again, same concept as B.G.I.F., different stereotype. Jew I’d Like to Fuck. Oh, John Stewart you beautiful, beautiful Jew. And Paul Rudd, your Judaism is just spectacular. And if any woman says they wouldn’t want to have a little S &M with these men, well then quite frankly, I don’t believe you like penises.
3. A.M.A.R.I.R.L.F
Now this one is pure genius: Any Man of Any Race I’d Really Like to Fuck. If you are ashamed of your racism, then this is the term for you! How is it racist, if you combined every race in one term? God. I love loopholes.
Each breed brings a different, I guess you could say, experience, in a woman’s sexual life. This is a scientific fact, mastered over thousands of years, by woman just like you. There is a caste system in the sexual realm. Know your role. Know your role.
