1. I became sexual around the age of of 9 or 10, we were having a family night and rented what we thought was a scary movie called Sorceress, which turned out to be a "soft-core" flick that had scantily clad women and huge sexual undertones and I started to become aroused and wet but didn't know at the time what was happening to my body. When my mom realized what kind of movie it was she immediately turned it off. I went to my room.
2. From between the time I discovered my sexuality to when I actually lost my virginity, I would regularly masturbate, either in the shower with the handle of my hair brush (which was ribbed) or when no one was home and I would get naked and rub my body and clit up against this gigantic stuffed bear (which was almost my size), which I got for Valentines Day one year.
3. My dad sexually molested me when I was 11 or 12, no rape, just touched my breasts or vagina when I was asleep, which I only realized when one night when I woke up, my mom divorced him for that, and now I feel suspicious and uneasy around any of my male relatives. Also, my good friend suggested it's the reason why I cannot orgasm vaginally.
4. I lost my virginity when I was 15, it was my first real boyfriend, he was 19 in college and we did it in his dorm. I told my mom I was sleeping over at a friend's house, pretty typical I guess... I bled a little and it seemed to hurt more than feel good, but it did not deter me from doing it again. It never crossed my mind that it was illegal, but I guess it was, we broke up after three months, but then a month later I hooked up with a friend of a friend who was 22 years old. I guess looking back at my past relationships I have always had an affinity for older men.
5. I have a high sex drive but my current boyfriend has a very low sex drive even though we are in our mid to late 20's, we only have sex once every three months which is very frustrating to me and I have expressed it to him but only in a nonchalant manner since I do not want to hurt his feelings. I love him very much and think he might be the one I marry, he is perfect in every way except the fact that he is not very good in bed, it's kinda boring, which may be the reason why I never crave having sex with him, but I also would never cheat.
6. I do occasionally daydream about sex with my ex-boyfriend, who was great in bed. He was 6' 4" and had a huge dick, which he could never fully put inside me since I am a petite Asian. He was a great kisser, was very adventurous in bed, he was rough with me, and had no reservations about using toys. The sex was simply amazing & intoxicating, but he was a very lousy boyfriend.
7. I am very attracted to women, and love everything about them, I believe that the female form is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Sometimes I fantasize about being with 1 or more women, whether I'm doing stuff to them or they are to me, it turns me on the most, and I can only get off my by watching lesbian porn. Sometimes I think I might be a lesbian, but penetration from a man still turns me on. I constantly fantasize about being with a women, and having my boyfriend watch us go at it.
8. Sometimes in the summer I open my blinds, slowly strip down to nothing, and then walk around naked. The thought of someone seeing me naked, watching me, and them being turned on is so arousing. I really like to be watched.
9. Nobody knows how sexual I am and how promiscuous I really want to be. I have grown up with this image of a cutesy, Catholic, good girl type, and everyone thinks of me like this. On some level I like that, and like keeping the two sides of me separate, but sometimes I wish for the freedom to be a sexual extrovert, having one night stands, or being sexual in public.
10. I have also had a fantasy of being dominated or giving up my control, like being tied up and having things done to me. I secretly enjoy light bdsm, like having my hair pulled or being spanked. My ex used to get scared he was hurting me when he was spanking me, but I always wanted it harder, the harder it was the more turned on I got.
11. I have never kissed or been with a women, but it's something I would like to pursue before I settle down. And I know it is shallow but I would have to be with a beautiful girl, if she's butch I would get turned off. I just love beautiful women and check them out all the time. I believe that if I do not satisfy this curiosity I will be filled with regret, but I am afraid that if it happens being with a man will not be pleasurable anymore. I am also afraid of what my family would think of me if I were to become a lesbian.
12. I would like to try swinging, or attend a swinging party, but I don't think my boyfriend would go for it since he is pretty vanilla, which is disappointing. It turns me on, the idea of being done by other guys or girls, and having my boyfriend watch, but I don't know how I feel about watching him do another person.
13. Sometime I wonder how it would be like to have a sexual relationship with an older man, like in his 40's. I do like the older male, younger female role playing, like being a babysitter being done by the husband, principal and the student, or doctor and the patient. I think it has to do with not having a real father figure in my life. But I'm afraid it might have something to do with what my dad did to me when I was younger, and then I start to feel incredibly disgusted with myself and very ashamed.
14. I don't like to watch porn with Asian people in it whether male or females, it just turns me off. I'm not sure why, maybe it's because since I am Asian myself and want to detach that part of me.
15. I have an attraction to pink nipples, I get really turned on my seeing girls with cute pink nipples getting their tits sucked and licked.
16. I love giving head, I get so aroused when I'm sucking on my boyfriend's cock and he moans. The louder he is the more I get wet. But odd enough I don't like having him go down on me. And it's not him per se, but I don't like it at all. I know my friends say it's because I haven't had good oral before but I know that's not it. I've had past BFs before go down on me, one of them really wanted to all the time, but I think the act itself is gross. Which makes me wonder if I would ever go down on a girl.
17. I don't own any dildos, only vibrators. I guess since I never experienced an orgasm vaginally, I don't have the desire to be artificially penetrated. I have only had orgasms clitorally and not any earthshattering though, just enough to satisfy.
18. I tend to squirt from time to time, so sometimes I tend to hold back when I'm reaching a climax so not to make a mess of my bed. I've read that squirting is not urine, but sometimes I think it is and it's kind of disgusting.
19. The thought of being secretly watched excites me, I imagine sometimes there is a hidden camera in the vent of my bedroom and that it's recording me changing and then I start to expose and play with myself. I would actually like to be filmed or photographed in sexual positions or situations.
20. I've had sex in various places before, in the car, on top of a car, on my apt balcony, but I would like to have sex in a public place, like a park or library. I think that would be really hot.
21. When I was in middle school, my family's computer had a camera on it. I went in a chat room and made a friend with an older gentleman like maybe around his 30's and when I was home alone one night we video chatted and I showed him my breasts and licked my lips, but when he showed me his dick I got so scared that I got off the chat immediately. I felt so ashamed about what I did, because I was brought up Catholic and anything sexual was a sin. Sometimes I still feel the shame after anything sexual.
22. I've had girl crushes before, but have never acted on it. I even had a girl crush on one of my really good friends, she was the type of girl that all guys liked and she got hit on all the time. On some level I guess I envied her because I wanted to be that girl that everyone wanted to be with, but on another level I wanted to be with her because I could see why she was so popular. One drunk night we were together and she kissed me on the cheek and I wanted to kiss her back, but did not because I did not want to ruin our friendship. I always wondered what would have happened if I let it go further.
23. Sex tends to feel immensely better when I'm drunk or buzzed. I don't know why since alcohol is supposed to make you numb, but when I am drunk and have sex it feels wonderful. It probably because when I'm drunk I'm not thinking about the act of sex but just the feeling of it.
24. I heard anal sex feels good but have always been too scared to try. I'm afraid that it will hurt more than give me pleasure, but sometimes the thought of being filled in both holes really gets me wet. I contemplate getting anal beads or plugs.
25. I am torn about settling down with a man who is perfect in every way except sexually, or to keep on sowing my oats till I'm satisfied, and find someone who can fill my sexual needs as well as my emotional needs. I feel like that would be asking for perfection and there is no such thing as that. We'll see I guess.
