1. I love my body now, but it took me a long time to get here. I used to think my 34A breasts were too small and my thighs (which are comfortable in size 6 pants) were too large and my legs were too short and my body has 15 lbs more fat on it than it did when I was 16. When I was in the 5th grade my dad said I was starting to get saddlebags and so I started exercising more because I didn't want to be fat, and for a long time I tried to eat healthy so I would be skinnier, and I flirted with anorexia but never dove in completely. But one day I realized that everybody is going to be a little insecure about something and I'm healthy and I'm never going to be any skinnier than I am now, so I might as well quit worrying about things that will never change and embrace what I now realize is an amazing body. Not every guy is going to be into me, sure, but there are plenty of people out there who find me attractive. Now I get pissed off at the companies that make clothing that doesn't fit a healthy human woman instead of getting mad at myself for not fitting into their unrealistic molds, and life is good.
2. I hate the look of a guy who has removed all of his pubic hair. I have shaved since I was a freshman in high school and I love the feel of being mostly bald down there, but hairless testicles look revolting to me. This makes it difficult for me to enjoy porn much of the time.
3. I would love to watch more porn, but I am really turned off by breast implants and sex scenes in which a woman's clit is entirely ignored and she is obviously putting on a show but not getting off. I know there is better porn out there than the mainstream movies, but when I'm horny I can't find good stuff without wading through enough bad stuff to thoroughly turn me off, so for the moment I am sticking to published volumes of erotica (because poor spelling, punctuation, and grammar really turn me off).
4. I gag at the sight of a male porn star ejaculating. I love swallowing after a BJ, but I don't sleep with porn stars. I just find male porn stars (so far, anyway) so unappealing that the sight of their cum disgusts me.
5. I love watching people get off. They can be guys or girls or anything in between, in any combination, just as long as they are turned on and aren't distractingly unattractive.
6. I am totally OK with my partners enjoying porn, as long as I'm still getting laid and they still appreciate me as I am, without breast implants or fake nails.
7. I enjoyed my period since I got it at 15, but I hated the feeling of even the smallest tampons ripping at the walls of my vagina when I tried to remove them. Since I got my Divacup (reusable silicone menstrual cup), I love my period. I think the blood is beautiful and fascinating. I am incredibly horny during my period and hopefully one day my boyfriend will get over the taboo nature of period sex so we can have a messy good time together.
8. I slept with a guy for 3 years who was awful awful awful in bed. He was my first partner so I didn't know any better. He would ejaculate almost immediately during sex, even with a condom. If I gave him head first and then let him get hard again, he could fuck for a couple of minutes. His dick was 4 or 5 inches and fat, and I was always sore afterwards, sometimes for days, because he was just too thick for me. He could only get me off with oral, and I am happy to be rid of him.
9. My father gave me the sex talk and a book (Love and Sex and Growing Up) when I was in the third grade. Somehow I never absorbed the part about women getting wet when they become aroused, and the first time it happened to me I thought I was sick. Up until that point, it was very bad if one of my orifices was leaking liquids, and my mother told me to tell her if anything like cottage cheese came out of me down there, so I thought something must have been wrong. Thank goodness I didn't tell anyone.
10. Once I discovered masturbation, I did it quite frequently. I started at about 11 and by the time I was in high school I did it most nights. I used to rub against pillows, but once I discovered vibrators, I had to have one. I had one of those "doodle pens" where you put in a battery and it drew little spirals on your paper with removable colored pens, and I used it on my clit until I burned out the motor. I went through 3 doodle pens before I was old enough to buy a real vibrator.
11. My favorite sex toys now are my Lelo Gigi (but only on my clit) and my small glass g-spot dildo. I have a Lelo Lily that isn't as strong as the Gigi, and while it doesn't get me off alone, it is wonderful when I need something small and am already really turned on. The Hitachi Magic Wand is way too strong for me, but my boyfriend loves using it on his cock. I like using the We Vibe for masturbation, but it was awkward when it had to sit next to a cock inside of me. When I have more extra cash, I'd like to get a butt plug and a silicone g-spot dildo (because my glass one is too hard when it bangs at my g-spot for a long time).
12. When I was in high school, my family got a digital camera. I used to talk to guys in chat rooms and once they found out I had pictures, they would ask for increasingly sexy shots. I took sexy pictures for them and didn't send them out to everyone in the world, but in retrospect I am sure they got around. I was a nerdy girl who hadn't received a lot of attention from boys, and hearing that I was attractive did a lot for my self-esteem. It makes me feel really sexy to show off my body and I like talking to people about sex, so it was a tough habit to quit, but the conversations became repetitive and I had better things to do. Eventually I realized that all of the guys I had been talking to were real jerks who just wanted to use me as a sexual aid, and I got a boyfriend who told me I was attractive and meant it, so I cut it out. While I really regret what I did, I am thankful that I made these mistakes on the internet instead of with a boyfriend, because I would have totally been fucking at 13 if I found myself alone with a horny guy of the same age. Who knows how many pregnancy scares, STDs, and broken hearts I missed out on by experimenting online, as stupid as it was?
13. I would hate to be hit or degraded during sex, but I love to be held down or restrained. I often orgasm while sitting on my boyfriend's cock while he forces me to hold still so I can only wiggle enough to rub my clit against him a little. I wish he'd be a little more dominant sometimes, but we're still exploring. It makes me really horny to reflect upon my arousal but be forced to wait to get what I want and even beg for it. I love being teased, but it's hard to get enough teasing when my partner is so turned on that he doesn't want to wait anymore either.
14. I love to suck cock. Nothing gets me wet like having a cock in my mouth. I know a lot of women hate this, but I like it when he holds my head still and fucks my face (as long as I can tap him somewhere to let him know when I need to take a breather). To know I'm turning him on so much really gets me hot.
15. I would not want to have a sexual relationship with a guy whose cock was bigger than 7 inches, or too thick. My boyfriend is already big enough that he bangs on my cervix in some positions, and if he were any bigger I don't know how I could have a sexual relationship with him. Pain during sex guarantees that I'm not going to get off, so a cock bigger than 7 inches would mean only having sex in a couple of very specific positions or never having orgasms, and I couldn't deal with that.
16. I wish more guys were uncircumcised. The foreskin is such a wonderful body part and it is awful for someone to cut if off without your consent. If we cut off every body part that got a little dirty if you don't wash it, we wouldn't be left with much.
17. I was put on the pill when I was 15 because I wasn't having regular periods and my parents thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't complain because I liked knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I was on the same brand and dose of pills for 8 years, and it made me lactate during my period (to the point that my doctors told me I had a tumor in my pituitary gland and put me on some awful medication that made me fiercely dizzy) and irritated my cervix (to the point that I would bleed a little when penetrated, every time). My gynecologist said "oh, yeah, that happens with the pill sometimes" and did nothing about it, so I thought my symptoms were just something I'd have to deal with if I wanted to use the pill as birth control. I did not realize until I was 23 and went to a different doctor that these things could be avoided on a lower pill dose, and I am much healthier and happier now.
18. I hate how I always have to be on my guard to not say something too sexual around people who don't know me that well yet, or people who might be offended. I like talking about sex and hate having to tiptoe around issues because so many people are uptight about a natural part of human life! I get the reputation as a pretty entertaining drunk because once I lose my inhibitions I start saying the things I'd like to be saying all the time (and do say, when sober, to my good friends and lovers) to acquaintances who haven't seen that side of me before.
19. I like to have my asshole touched and maybe a little penetration with a finger or small toy, but I don't know if I could ever enjoy a cock in my ass (for the moment at least). Thankfully, my partner is not interested in anal sex at the moment.
20. I carry a couple of cotton balls soaked in witch hazel in an old lip balm container in my purse. I squeeze them out and wipe down anywhere I am not feeling 100% fresh to make sure that I am always lickably clean. (Don't get the witch hazel in your pussy, just wipe down the labia.) I also use witch hazel on the places I shave whenever I am in the bathroom washing my face, because it kills germs and makes sure I don't get ingrown hairs. It is a cheap, easy, and natural way to freshen up and I don't understand why more people don't do this. Then again, most people use lube that contains unhealthy ingredients that give me raging yeast infections. Just say no to glycerin, girls!
21. I love my boyfriend and will probably be with him for life, but if we ever break up, I think I would like to date a foot fetishist, especially one with a kink for hosiery and socks. I have an unhealthy habit of bringing home more socks, tights, and shoes than I need, and while my current boyfriend thinks a lot of them are pretty hot, it would be interesting to have my socks become just as sexually thrilling as my bras and panties! I don't think my feet are anything special, but I'd love to see a man look at my feet like he looks at my pussy.
22. I went through that phase in high school when I would do sexual things just to check them off my purity test list, without ever becoming good at any of them or getting off on them. You know, fuzzy pink handcuffs, whipped cream, assorted vegetables, tie each other up once with whatever's lying around, oral and PIV (Penis in Vagina) sex everywhere you can get away with having it, etc. I'm glad I'm over the phase in which I'd try anything just for the hell of it, because my partner and I were just doing things to make ourselves seem adventurous when in reality, he still couldn't get me off. How are you supposed to get off on a park bench when you can't get off on a bed? How do you expect your partner to get you off when you don't know how to give yourself an orgasm? Practice makes perfect. My sex life is still not perfect, but it's better than it ever has been since I decided to make sure that my partner and I were damned good at doing the things that get each other off and worry less about having crazy sexual adventures that don't actually work for us. Now that I've had time to fantasize about what might actually work for me, I have a much better list of things to try, and looking forward to them is half the fun.
23. I can ejaculate. I'm still practicing and my urethral opening is a little too close to my vaginal opening to make it easy to do in most positions, but I'm getting to know myself better every time. I am still overwhelmed because it is a whole lot of liquid and I don't want to need several clean towels every time I have sex, but it is still a pretty neat trick! I didn't notice myself doing it for a long time because sometimes I only squirt a little and usually I just have a clitoral orgasm then lose interest. But I was watching porn on my computer when I was 23 and I didn't want to come so quickly so I was using my g-spot dildo, putting it all the way in then using my PC muscles to push it back out, and then suddenly my foot (which was a couple feet in front of my cunt rather than below it) was drenched with something. It was startling but pretty awesome at the same time.
24. I'm pretty sure that I broke my hymen in the proverbial bike accident. I saw other kids riding their bikes up onto the sidewalk over the curb and it looked easy so I thought I'd try it too, but I ended up falling over. I pretended I was fine, and I appeared to be fine, but something in my pants really hurt where I had never hurt before. I was completely unfamiliar with my genitals at the time (2nd grade?) and thus didn't investigate or know exactly what had happened. I ignored it and since I didn't know what was going on, I didn't think to check my underwear for blood or try to get a good look at myself.
25. I wish that sex-positive culture was more mainstream and accepted. I love Dan Savage and the Sex is Fun Show, and I think they should be required listening for everyone who wants to have a satisfying sex (and love) life.
