1. I have always been sex-positive, since before we had a term for that!
2. I masturbated early and have always gotten easily aroused. However, despite many years of trying, I've never had an orgasm from masturbation.
3. I've never felt comfortable about being naked in a public situation. I had kidney disease when I was very young and wound up having tests that involved having to be catheterized a few times. That was very traumatic and may have contributed to being very uncomfortable about public, pubic exposure. That said, aside from some initial awkwardness with my first lover, I never had any other trouble being naked around a lover.
4. I read an awful lot about sex, including some of my father's soft-core porn, when I was still in elementary school. About the same time, I read my cousin's Playboys, which was a revelation!
5. I got involved in some make-out sessions in high school, but didn't really date. I probably intimidated high school guys - I've always been fat, outspoken and reasonably smart. But in college and in some social groups, I found many men were not intimidated by big, boisterous women, which was great to discover!
6. My first lover and I slept together and made out in bed a few times before having sex. I was pretty insistent on being on the Pill before I finally had sex; I didn't want to worry about condoms or other kinds of less automatic birth control when we were learning about sex together (we were both very horny virgins). Our first night together was both awkward and wonderful. However, it took me a few weeks to have an orgasm. The first orgasm I had was completely mindblowing. However, I only have one about 30% of the time. This is frustrating because I do arouse easily.
7. While I've been with my husband (who was my first lover) and I have been together since college, we had an open relationship for years and each had lovers sporadically. We stopped this behavior because we found having other lovers can make you lose your focus on your primary partner. It might work for other folks, but it really didn't work for us.
8. I normally only have an orgasm if I'm flat on my back, which is annoying. I've tried almost every other position imaginable and it's never worked. However, one time I did have a fling with a friend. We made out pretty intensely for a couple of hours. He finally came, and I said I just couldn't take any more time. About ten minutes later, we were on an escalator together, and I had an intense orgasm in public while standing on the escalator. I held onto the sides pretty tightly that time so I wouldn't fall over!
9. I had another affair that left me manic and aroused for about six months. It was very, very strange. The guy was emotionally distant, but he was a major rocket in bed. He broke up with me by taking another lover and not telling me. She implied what was happening between them... not knowing I had been his lover.
10. I've only had four lovers. I can remember the feel of their cock, tongue or fingers in my cunt - I could identify any of them blindfolded!
11. I believe that most people are basically bi, but societal strictures restrain people from acting on this. While I'm mostly attracted to men, I've been attracted to women, but haven't acted on this (see #7 - I probably would have had a female lover had the opportunity presented itself).
12. I felt very sexual during my pregnancies, and my husband always made me feel very sexy.
13. I had an episiotomy (vaginal incision) during the birth of my first child. I was worried that it would sexually ruin me. We had sex for the first time only three weeks later. While somewhat painful, I took the attitude that I had to endure the pain to exercise the muscles around the vagina. About the same time, I got more interested in oral sex, something I'd been somewhat skittish about for the first few years of being sexually active. After a few weeks, the pain subsided and our sex life was great. I found I adored oral sex! Sometimes, sexual tastes do change.
14. For various reasons (overwork, depression, kids, the usual, and... see #9 and #25) our sex life got strained when we were in our 30s. One weekend, the kids were away and we spent most of the weekend getting reacquainted in bed. Highly recommended!
15. One time, I was so distracted during sex that I mumbled "come in" when a teenaged child knocked on our door. "No, don't!" my husband yelled. That was terribly embarrassing.
16. I've often wondered how much alike our parents/siblings/children are sexually. Does my mother like the same things I like? Does she have the same orgasmic problems I did? What about my siblings? I know my mother felt ignored in bed at one point and eventually did divorce my father, but we've never discussed details. Let's face it - our genetics and upbringing does impact our sexuality, but it's not always clear WHAT THE IMPACT IS. Despite my intense curiosity on this issue, I've never talked to family members about this.
17. Internet porn amused me, particularly the claim about "female ejaculation." I could see how that would be possible, but I'd always been a "leaker" rather than a "spurter." However, at least once in my 40s and a couple of times in my 50s, I've ejaculated, usually during cuningulus when my husband is also masturbating me. The first few times, it was a very electric feeling (and once I hit my husband right in the eye). Now, my ejaculations sometimes occur separately from an actual orgasm.
18. While I've often heard that a male's breasts are not erogenous zones, my husband has very sensitive breasts. We both get very aroused from breast play.
19. After more than 30 years together, we're still very vanilla. About the only weirdness is that I haven't come from standard intercourse since the '90s (he uses Viagra about half the time, which doesn't seem to make a difference to me). So we tend to have foreplay, I'll give him head, we'll have intercourse, then he'll go down on me for a very long time (sometimes, up to an hour) and masturbate me. Sometimes I come, sometimes I don't. Then we'll have intercourse until he comes. We do enjoy having sex at odd times, especially in the afternoon when no one is home but us.
20. I finally got a vibrator, and while I've used it with my husband from time to time, I do plan to practice solo with it to see if I can have an orgasm from it. It doesn't hurt to try!
21. One of the deep dark societal secrets is that not only do fat people seem to enjoy sex more than skinny people, they're also generally better at it!
22. I plan to have a lot more sex when we're both retired.
23. Even though I'm in menopause, I still get quite wet when I'm aroused.
24. When one child was two, I had a birth control failure and had an abortion. I've despised the people who make it their business to picket clinics to this day, but they did not prevent me from having an abortion.
25. When I was very little, I was sexually assaulted by a male relative. When I remembered the incident, nearly 30 years later, it made a lot of sense. While it screwed up my sex life for a while, I'm glad my husband stuck by me and we were able to work things out. I'm actually grateful I didn't remember it until I was older because it would have made establishing a great sex life so much harder. (I had long suspected that my husband might have been sexually assaulted by his sickie father, but he said no when we talked about it (though he was beaten by him). The guy I most liked in high school came from a family where at least one member was sexually assaulted by a relative (which I heard about years later).)
