1. I should be Italian or something, not Scandinavian. Or maybe it's the cold that made me so furry. I have absolutely no interest in shaving my pubic hair. If someone is turned off by body hair, then they're definitely not right for me. If you can't handle my body as it is, you have no reason to be near it. It's just hair, nothing's rotting in there.
2. A friend was so disgusted by my pubic hair that instead of raping me he just sexually abused me. In a twisted way I feel like I beat him, at least a little. I moved away and changed my name.
3. He made me go down on him while he fucked my ass with a gun. I never want anyone touching my ass again, and when someone fucks my mouth I sometimes forget where I am and I can't hold back the tears.
4. I love my husband, but he makes me feel stupid. I can never be as literate and educated as he is. And I'm a pretty smart girl, I shouldn't feel this way. I compensate with taking responsibility of paying the bills and making the everyday life work. In bed I don't want to be the one in control. I'm sick of it. I wish he treated me like a woman, not like his owner. I'm submissive and he's clueless. We've been together for 7 years. All of my adult years.
5. I've had a lover almost twice my age for four months. I've spent two long weekends with him in his home country, fucked so many times I've lost count of all the orgasms he's given me. And I never imagined sex could be so mindblowing. It was a hundred times better than anything I've ever experienced before. He makes me feel loved and safe. Then he fucks me, takes me as he pleases, makes me come time after time, pins me down, calls me his dirty little slut. And I feel loved and safe. When it's time for me to leave to the airport, it makes him cry. So I cry too. I miss him every second, but I'm staying with my husband. I have no regrets.
6. I love the feeling of anticipation between my lover's spanks. I didn't know I liked spanking until I met him.
7. I should feel guilty about cheating on my husband. I don't. I kind of feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
8. I can come without touching myself, no squeezing thighs or anything. The last time was when my lover told me a story of having a threesome with a pretty girl we saw at a museum earlier in the day. I have no idea what he said, my mind went blurry the moment he started whispering in my ear. His words always arouse me intensely and I get off just from the sound of his voice. When we're apart I listed to audio clips of him talking. I'm beginning to know them by heart, I've stopped listening the words ages ago.
9. I have a body I could be insecure of. My lover makes me feel beautiful. My husband makes me remember the times when I was too skinny to walk on a windy day. Yet I love my husband to bits.
10. I've fallen in love with my cunt. It's the most beautiful and fascinating thing. Recently I've started to get soaking wet when I'm aroused. Finding a lover who understands my sexuality (probably better than I do!) has made the world of difference to me. I love masturbating, I love it when he watches me when I come for him. I love how the room is filled with wet sounds as my fingers slide in and out of my cunt. I love the visuals, the sounds, the smells, everything.
11. Before I met my husband I was mostly attracted to girls. Kissing a girl has an enormous sexual tension for me. I had a year-long relationship with a girl and despite the sex being amazing, I liked kissing the most. And after that relationship ended because of me moving away from my abuser, I spent a very intense night with a girl friend just kissing, caressing her bare breasts through her summer dress. We've never spoken of that night, but we're still friends and just thinking of her makes me want her badly.
12. I stayed awake all night writing a filthy email to my lover. I make the most of the time I get to spend home alone.
13. My clit is bored. And I'm bored of clit orgasms. I've always been able to get vaginal orgasms and lately they've been too good to be true. So maybe I'm neglecting my clit at the moment.
14. I'm hardly ever properly dressed at home. Right now I'm wearing a long dress without panties, but the dress is lifted up above my waist and I have the laptop on my bare tummy. I like being able to touch myself whenever I get the urge. Which is quite often.
15. I'm insatiable. My lover has made me come well over a dozen times in one night, while on Skype and live. I'm not sure if there's any limit to the number of orgasms I can have. I don't even get sore after long sessions like that. It's just my thighs that are shaky for days after all that trembling and convulsing.
16. I do believe I can be in love with two men at the same time. I love a lot. And I don't love my lover just because of the amazing sex, he's the second kindest man on Earth after my husband, and he makes me feel happy about myself. I'm fun when I'm with him.
17. Sometimes, when I'm sad, I go out dancing alone. I never dance for anyone but myself. I notice that men pay attention to me when I dance, but I just ignore all the pick up attempts, I never talk to anyone unless I really must, I don't look men in the eyes. I'm not dancing like that to arouse them, but to feel my body and the music. It's better than masturbating, even though I don't move in a particularly sexual way. The confidence I get from doing it only for myself seems to arouse people watching me. It's flattering, but I try to ignore it anyway.
18. I don't think I'm attractive, but it's just this woman thing. I know I'm attractive, just not in the most obvious way, but I'm not supposed to know it.
19. I think I lost my virginity at the age of 18. I had had sex with a girl before and I had been sexually abused, but the penis in vagina thing didn't happen until with my now husband. It was okay. Everything has been okay ever since. I know you must think what the hell am I still doing with him, but he's a good man. I can trust him, that's a lot from me. And he's not a bad guy to spend a considerable amount of my future with.
20. My first kiss was with a Mexican boy, on a cruise. I was 16. I told him to guess my age and he said 20. I let him believe it. He was 22. We kissed for hours, neither of us spoke good English, but the kissing kept us occupied enough. I bit his neck until it was full of love bites, and I still find biting someone's neck very arousing. I wasn't too attracted to this boy, he was good looking and all, but I was mostly just flattered by having someone express sexual interest in me. He was more like a boy next door than a player, which was kind of cute.
21. When I was in elementary school my boy next door, five years younger than me, kept begging me to show him my pussy for over a year. I never did, but it was exciting nonetheless. We stopped playing together when I went to a different school. Later we stopped saying hi. Then I moved away. Years later I saw him while visiting my parents, thought about saying hi, but chickened out. Three days later he was killed in a massacre, shot 20 times, just because he was gay. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
22. I didn't bleed when I lost my virginity. I've bled after it though. Sometimes I can be a bit rough when playing with myself. It's just blood, not a turn-on or a turn-off.
23. I frequently had phone sex with a much older man when I was 15. I loved the wet sounds. I seduced men in chat rooms, not intentionally really. They were just normal chat rooms, but I had at least a dozen men or boys tell me they loved me even though they had never seen me live. Usually it wasn't even anything sexual, just blind and innocent love. And I kind of believe they really were in love with me while it lasted. I liked many of them back, but I was never in love. Dumping them was hard anyway. Though I did love the feeling of power I had over them.
24. I found Fanny Hill and de Sade's Justine in my parents' bookshelf when I was way too young to read them. They turned me on immensely, I used to read them at night in the light of my ugly orange flashlight. I don't remember how many times after school I had to go buy batteries. That's one of the reasons why I chose to buy a vibrator that doesn't require batteries. Weird.
25.One of the most sexually arousing experiences was watching a black and white avant-garde short film at a museum with my lover. It made my breath ragged and I was trembling slightly. Later we talked about how sexual it all was, the surreality and the moment we shared. The next time we met, we went to see the film again and I was so close to coming right there, him touching me through my clothes when people weren't looking in the dark room, my bottom pressed against his hard erection. My knees were weak when we finally walked out the room. I keep watching the film over and over again. I have it on my iPod, I've watched it on a train, in a waiting room, in the middle of a crowded market place. And the basically rather unsexual film almost makes me black out every time. Sometimes I touch myself all the way to orgasm, but when in public I just enjoy my secret arousal.
