Writing has always been very cathartic for me. Usually, my funniest writing comes from my darkest moments…well… as dark as you can get for a cute upper-middle class suburban white girl.
But try as I might, I’m experiencing my first real bout of writer’s block…and that shit is a bitch….
So instead of the previous post I was working on… I’m going to tell you a story…
In college, I worked at a Jimmy Johns. It was one of the greatest jobs ever… honestly, I don’t know how the fuck I didn’t get fired…
…Let’s just say I sexually harassed many a customers…whatever, I’m cute…they liked it… but that’s beside the point…
The store was right next to campus so we had a parking attendant to make sure students weren’t “illegally” parking….and that man’s name was…Lloyd.
He was a funny man, never missed an opportunity to hit on me, or any other female that passed that parking lot.
He called me Red… I’m pretty sure he never really knew real name… I worked there for a over a year.
He also thought my best friend (who also worked at JJ’s) was a boy….she wasn’t...she’s really pretty actually…and I was the one with adult braces…he was an older gentleman…maybe his eye-sight wasn’t what it used to be.
She was the only girl he wouldn’t hit on…one time he called us the Bobsy twins (or some shit like that)…so naturally we Googled it and it turned out to be some old-time stories about these twins that got into mischief…. a boy and girl twin.
Also…I may or may not have said (on more than one occasion)… “I’d bone him…”
I swear to God I was joking, but like I said I don’t know how I didn’t get fired…
Well I just found out Lloyd died last night…he had massive blood loss from a surgery, then broke his hip and got a bad infection and slipped into a coma.
I never really said goodbye…the last time I saw him was October/November? The only thing I can remember saying was… “Oh Lloyd…” as we watched him hit on another random passerby.
…and it warmed my heart.
It was one of those moments that you naively believe would never change, you’d come back years from now and the same scenario would be playing before you once again.
…and all would be right in the world.
He was a good man…who always stood on that sidewalk… rain or shine…in a bright orange vest labeled “PARKING ATTENDANT”…. He was happy.
We were happy.
I was happy.
…and thankful for that jack and coke you slipped me at work, Lloyd.
I’ll make sure they retire your vest, and hang it up in JJ’s so everyone can know the legend of Lloyd.
It wouldn’t be right any other way.
