Heather MacAllister was the first sex-positive size activist I met. I had the opportunity to work with her when she asked me to take promotional photos for her Fat Bottom Revue burlesque troupe. She made a lasting impression on me and was a huge inspiration. I'm happy to present some images from our 2005 photo shoot, to accompany this guest post by the radically awesome Sossity Chiricuzio. -Shilo |
| Copyright 2005 Shilo McCabe |
Sex Radicals/Radical Sex
By
Sossity ChiricuzioI’ve had a long and complicated relationship with sex and my body. I’m sad that the same could be said by almost every person I've ever discussed that with. As a child, it was uncomplicated: my body felt good. The socialization of advertising, public school, and inappropriate adult men made it a place of fear, and shame. I quickly realized that only some bodies were the good ones, sex was mostly dirty, and the people deciding those things weren’t likely to change their minds. It broke my heart, and my spirit, for many years.
 |
| Copyright 2005 Shilo McCabe |
After I came out as queer I began to meet people who were proudly sexual and persistent in fighting for information and healthy sexuality. I began to reclaim my power around sex - both in how I had it, and in my activism. I was studying Humanities and Women's Studies at the University of Arizona. It was 1992, and penetration was often still considered patriarchal. Those of you reading this who don’t know what I’m talking about: hit up Wikipedia on terms such as ‘lesbian feminism’, ‘Andrea Dworkin’ and ‘separatism’. And then, for your antidote: ‘sex radical’.
The truth is, I have had a long and complicated relationship with feminism as well. I’ve had many arguments over the years with other feminists as to if I even qualify as a feminist. This usually happens after I’ve read one of my poems about fisting, advocated for polyamory or BDSM, or otherwise disrupted their idea of what feminism should include. I’ve also had many a long and satisfying conversation with like minded sex-positive feminists and am grateful for the ever-expanding activism and resources we are collectively creating. There is one person in particular that understood and resonated with me completely, and continually inspires me: Heather MacAllister, aka Reva Lucian.
 |
| Copyright 2005 Shilo McCabe |
Meeting her was akin to vault doors being blown open in a flood of fierce sunshine. She was determined to be shameless, and to drag the rest of us with her into that light. Learning to love my body exactly the way it was, and for all it could do, was her challenge to me and so many others. Her magic was rooting those lessons in the body itself, through ritual, sex, dance and anything else that revealed the power inherent in flesh that is loved. We both approached that space as a way of embodying the sacred whore - for ourselves, and others - and considered that work to be our gift to the world and our own battle scarred bodies.
We met the challenge of being femme, fat and bold in the pursuit of our desire in similar ways. Refusing to apologize; reveling in running the fuck just as much as giving over to rough and tender hands; sharing the best revelations, and the best lovers; walking in that grace and power, visible and unashamed. We strove to set that example for others as well as ourselves in our art and activism. Protests and workshops, bordellos and play parties, burlesque and erotica … if it offered a chance for people to love themselves better, and each other, we explored it. We lived thousands of miles apart more often than not, but our muses traveled the distance in a heartbeat.
 |
| Copyright 2005 Shilo McCabe |
Heather’s legacy is widely known, and the ripples she spread continue to roll into waves of realization and revolution. One of those waves is the project that brings every skill I’ve gathered along the way into perfect overlap with our shared beliefs:
Dirty Queer. It’s an X-Rated Open Mic and Fundraiser I’ve produced and hosted monthly for almost 5 years now at our local feminist resource center, and it’s entirely reasonable to say it wouldn’t have happened without her encouragement and faith in me. She was never able to attend, as it began the month before her death, but I feel her in that room with me every month: buoying me up with passionate conviction, smiling on the courage of people sharing their deepest selves, flirting her energy up against the sexy confidence everyone in the room takes on as we all witness for each other what it is to be so fully seen and appreciated. Sex radicals, radical sex - we hold that space for each other, we love ourselves, we inhabit our bodies from the marrow to the skin. Just what she wanted.
 |
| Heather, with the women of Fat Bottom Revue, 2005. |
|
|
I’m going to close with some pieces of wisdom and inspiration she shared with me over the years - some of them paraphrased quotes, some of them examples she set, and many of them familiar to folks who knew her. Love yourselves better. Face that part of your sexuality that is scariest and own it. Get your parts checked, whatever they are, and however you feel about them. Respect your lovers, and yourself. Negotiate like you are in control of your own body, even if you don’t believe it yet. Make friends with the mirror, or break up with it. Court your friends as well as your lovers. Take yourself on a hot date as a first choice, not a backup plan. Tell a stranger they are beautiful. Be an ally, an advocate, an educator. Keep doing the work. Even when it’s hard, or embarrassing, or uncomfortable. It’s worth it, and so are you.
 |
| Heather and Sossity, photo courtesy of Sossity. |
