Scene: watching tv with my parents....a girl with very short hair comes on to the screen.
Mom: She's a lesbian.
Me: Just because she has short hair, doesn't make her a lesbian.
Mom: Don't question me...I can always tell....she likes girls.
Dad: I'm a lesbian.
Mom: You're not a lesbian.
Dad: I like girls.
Mom: I know.
Dad: So I'm a lesbian.
Mom: You have a penis.
Dad: I know.
Mom: So you're not a lesbian.
Dad: But I like girls.
Mom: Do you have a strap on?
Dad: What?
Mom: Do you have a strap on?
Dad: I don't think so.
Mom: So have you been tricking me this whole time?
Dad: Tricking you with what?
Mom: A strap on.
Dad: I don't have a strap on.
Mom: But you've been tricking me?
Dad: Yes.
Mom: With what?
Dad: I use that penis pump thingy.
....I wish this was a lie....
