I am 5'9". I have been 5'9" since I was 11 years old. Growing up, I was always the tallest girl in my class. From Kindergarten on, I was always on the back set of risers for choir, the end of the line when it was the day to line up by shortest to tallest, even taller than the boys. Other than getting to be the star on the 3rd grade Christmas program when the tree shape was created by the shortest kids in class being the trunk and tallest getting to be the star, there were few times that being the tallest girl in any given setting had made me shine.
It wasn't until Jr. High when a few of the boys finally got their growth spurts and surpassed me. Thank God, because slow dancing to "High Enough" by Damn Yankees with someone shorter than me would have been horrifying for sure.
With the exception of 2 other girls, I remained the tallest girl in my class throughout High School. As a girl with no lack of self-doubt for a myriad of reasons at that point, I hated being so tall. Most of my girlfriends were barely over 5'4" on their tallest day so not only was I tall on my own, but very tall in comparison to them. I obsessively wore flats, slouched a lot, and hoped that I would appear less tall. I know, probably not so likely to happen but a teenage girl could dream right?
As I grew older and more confident, I began to see that my height was actually a good thing and I embraced it with enthusiasm. I was still usually the tallest girl in any given room but I saw that it set me apart from the crowd, drew attention to me, and gave me a chance to get the first looks.
In my professional career, when I walk into a meeting room or speak at a conference, I command the stage and get the audiences attention, more so because of my confidence, but also because of my presence and stature. In a business environment comprised primarily of men, the fact that I can stand eye to eye with most of them puts me on a more level playing field, at least in my own mind. Either way, I have a confidence now to accompany my 5'9" self, usually and even 6' in my heels.
When it comes to dating, that is where I still get hung up on my height. I always joke with my friends that there is a "short guy epidemic" in my city. Sad but true. I purposely wear my highest heels when I go out and I call them "the qualifier", similar to the posts at the entry gates to any good roller coaster that indicates "You must be at least this tall to ride this ride". If you aren't at least as tall as me when I am in my heels, move along please.
I understand that it is a very superficial attribute on which to judge potential. I am not proud of myself for being hung up on that specific thing. I blame it on my insecurities from my childhood coming back. I know a lot of really great, attractive guys that are shorter than me so I know that I am missing out on a potentially great relationship because of my stupid hang up that I shouldn't be taller than the guy I am with. I can't help it. It makes me self-conscience and takes away the joy of wearing heels for me, which really is a shame because I have a fantastic collection of high heels and wearing them makes me feel my sexiest. I feel like I would be short changing someone if I didn't come out as my sexiest, fearless self because of a silly insecurity brought on by something they have absolutely no control over.
I understand, I don't need taller guys, I need more self-confidence. Just not sure how to get there.
Do you have any hang-ups? Scarred by your childhood? Tell me about it kids, I'm here to learn!
ps. pic is not me, but you get the idea...lol
