Masturbation is an orgasmic revolution. To know yourself is to love yourself. I am a huge advocate of masturbation. I sing its praises daily, to coworkers, housemates, strangers on the street. I believe in it whole heartedly because I believe it can change the world. If we know what our body likes, what feels good, then we communicate that to someone else and have a joyful, ecstatic sex life. If we can give ourselves orgasms each day, what a happier life it would be. Imagine waking up each morning and having an orgasm, or four. We would spread love and good will to everyone we meet. We would smile at the person handing us our coffee. We would be inspired to send good thoughts to the person that cut us off in our car. We could breathe. I always say that if everyone was just cumming, we could stop war. We could solve the crazy problems in this world. That may seem simple and far fetched, but I meet people everyday that don’t understand their bodies. There is so much pain in their eyes. As a sexual health educator I have held space for people that have never had an orgasm. I meet people that have been married for years and their partners do not have any idea what gets them off. I have had people cry to me, laugh with me, be rude to me, be scared, timid and shy. There is so much charge behind sexuality. We have been taught that it is wrong to touch ourselves, to love ourselves. We have been taught to be sexy for others. What about being sexy for ourselves? My first piece of advice to help these beautiful people I meet everyday, is to masturbate. Learn what your body loves. Touch yourself, make love to yourself. You really only have yourself when it comes down to it, so shouldn’t you prioritize making your body feel loved and delicious and cradled and held?
My next piece of advice is practice, practice, practice. I have had the pleasure of masturbating since I escaped from the womb (or at least it feels that way). I remember getting in trouble in pre school for rubbing against the pillow, and then my stuffed animals, and then long showers (strong water pressure is always a blessing), and the story goes on. People tried to make me feel ashamed for my actions. They tried to tell me it was wrong. But despite the trouble I get in for being stubborn from time to time, this is an instance where it paid off. How could something that feels so good, be so wrong? I wasn’t hurting anyone. When I masturbate I send out waves of joy to the universe. I sigh with relief, thankful for the release. As hard as my day was, I can always come home to my vibrator. As sad as I feel, an orgasm can bring me joy and bring me back to myself. There are very few things in this world that have no strings attached. My vibrator doesn’t want anything from me. It is happy waiting patiently until I lay down at the end of the day. It doesn’t get mad at me for staying out late, it doesn’t bring worries of babies or disease. It is absolute and pure joy.
May is National Masturbation Month. It is, by far, my favorite month of the year. My birthday is great, and anyone who knows me, knows I take my birthday month very seriously. But May is a time we can all celebrate. We can collectively cum. We can bring ecstatic energy into the universe. We can commit to loving ourselves like we have never loved anything before. Because as the saying goes, if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love anyone else?? (Thank you RuPaul for your words of wisdom). So get out there and bring ecstasy to your face. Become flushed with orgasmic bliss. Cum before work, cum after work, cum whenever you can. I commit to May and I hope you do, too. So when we pass each other on the street, we will know that we are going to have an amazing day, regardless of whatever tries to bring us down. We have orgasms. We have love for ourselves. Go out and start an orgasmic revolution. Change the world, one orgasm at a time.
