Dear Rachel Sext,
Can we talk? I’m confused by your commercial, it may be your constant screaming or your beige bath towel convienently covering your devil parts. Either way I’m confused.
It’s not really the sexting I’m confused about. We get it, sexting is bad. Sexting could ruin your professional life. Sexting could lead to millions poking fun at your misppaportionate boobies and/or penis.
I know this cause I’m the jackass at the party that hurls their cell-phone in the air everyone screaming, “Look at this guy’s penis…you know him…you know him!!!”
But hey, at least I delete the next day. I think my parents would find it quite odd if they stumbled upon my cell phone penis picture collection. Not that I have one… and not like my parents have any place to judge…gosh.
My real question is why are your teeth so sweaty? No seriously, your two front teeth are sweaty. I’ve never seen anything like that….ever.
Of course your hair would look like shit…you just had sex.
And of course your body would ooze weird incriments onto a bath towel….you just had sex.
But your teeth? ¿por qué? Rachel? ¿por qué?
Is that physicially possible? Or is this just MTV trying to work their used up “we can influence millions” magic once again?
Like come on, MTV can you just start playing music videos again? I’m so sick of this “above the influence” shit. Is that even MTV? I don’t care it’s bullshit anyways. And who could forget the STD’s are bad PSAs and especially “You should the have sex with the cast members of the Jersey Shore or hit Snooki in the face” PSA? I can’t, that’s who.
I’m sorry Rachel to be taking this out on you, but please go brush your teeth. You’re disgusting to look at, let alone have sex with.
And if it’s this bad on televsion…I don’t even want to know what the sext looked like.
