CLEVELAND'S SCREAMING POSTER (Poster? Didn't even know 'er!)


Here it is! Hot off my hard drive, the poster for my movie Cleveland's Screaming! Wee-hoo! If you click on it you should be able to see a bigger version. Download it. Send it to your enemies!

The movie will have its world premier on Wednesday July 25th at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. Be there or be reborn as a snail for 50,000 lifetimes, suckers!!

Tickets are available now from Fandango. Just click here to order yours!
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My Friends are Exhausting...

I don't know about the rest of you, but I really identified with the author of this piece. I know exactly how he feels. Let me give you some examples:

1) I have a friend that moved into a new house and had people over the night of the move and it was already set up, no boxes, everything in its place, looking like it should be in Metropolitan Home. I, however, have had a hole in my kitchen ceiling for over a year.

2) Another friend is never in the same clothes, and these clothes are some clothes. Everything is exactly what you are "suppose" to be wearing and fitting like they were made especially for him. I have not bought a new piece of clothing since November 2006 and if you remove T-shirts, since much longer.

3) Still another friend is one of the top lawyers in a specialized field and flies around the world for expert consultation, yet still finds time to DJ, paint, play golf, go to concerts and wine tastings and spas...oh wait, he is straight...never mind.
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BUDDHIST GEEKS INTERVIEW and JOIN US

They put up the last part of my interview on Buddhist Geeks. So go give it a listen if you're into that sort of thing. I listened and did not puke, as is my usual reaction to my own interviews.

I've been going to the LA Film Festival this week. It's sorta kinda related to my "real job." But mainly I'm just watching the movies that seem most interesting. So far I've seen Escape From LA, a trash classic in which Kurt Russell escapes from Los Angeles, which, according to the film, was turned into a penal colony in 1998 after a fascist religious nut president got himself elected ruler for life. I had no idea. I was in Japan in 1998, so I guess I never heard about this and the people I know around here now don't seem to like to talk about it. When I think how this town operates, though, it kinda makes sense now...

I tried to get tickets to the Transformers premier tonight, but they were all gone and even the connection I have at Micahel Bay's office proved useless. But there's still a slim chance I'll get in one way or another.

On Monday I saw a very interesting film called Join Us. It's a documentary about a religious cult in South Carolina. According to the movie, the new brand of cult is not a giant international organization like the Moonies or Scientology. What's more common these days is little cults you never hear about in rural areas. The film follows the fall of one of these, a fire and brimstone Christian cult led by a charismatic German immigrant named Raimund Melz.

I'm gonna try to work up a review of the film for my next Suicide Girls installment. But just very quickly here, whenever I watch a film like this these days I tend to focus on the wrong things. Meaning, I tend to focus on stuff the film makers seem to want to relegate to the background. In this example, the "heroes" of the picture are the brave souls who got out of the cult and taught their bretheren inside what an insidious organization they were participating in, eventually succeeding in toppling the church. The "villains" of the piece are cult-leader Raimund and his wife.

Me, though, I tended to focus more on Raimund. As the leader of a cult of my own, I can see his side of the story more clearly than I can the side of the supposed heroes of the film. I'm thinking, how can I get my followers to buy me a fleet of sports cars and build me a whole subdivision full of houses for free which I can then rent back to them at inflated prices? How come I gotta pay my own money to rent out the Hill Street Center for retreats and Zazen classes and take a huge loss on the thing every month when only five people show up? What's up with that? Shit, maybe I should charge $185 a session and hypnotize everyone into thinking they've been enlightened by the end of the day like some other Zen Masters do.

NO! NO!! NO!!!!! I am joking. Joking. OK? But seriously, I do see Raimund's side of the story more clearly than his followers' side. I can see exactly how a guy can get sucked into that. Because, unlike what the film-makers seem to want us to believe, the followers of a cult are not simply poor innocent little creatures who get duped by big, bad, dirty, greedy guys. They are generally very manipulative people who desperately want to get duped. Man, I can feel it from people who come and see me sometimes, how they are seriously searching for someone exactly like Raimund, or like Charles Manson, or bin Laden, or Hitler. And they won't stop till they find him or some poor sap like Raimund who they can turn into the corrupt leader they so desire. Of course, it takes two to tango, so the leader has to be a fairly bad guy as well. But he never works as a solo act. Never, ever, ever. Nope. Not even one example. Cuz the solo cult leaders, they're just crazy people yelling on street corners that everyone ignores.

Anyway, I'm gonna spend some more time developing this little thesis and premier it on Suicide Girls this weekend. So forgive me if I steal some of my own words and use it in the piece.
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City View

Do plants really love worm poop? It sounds kinky.


As I was trying to process the whole worm poop thing, I saw this guy on the corner, holding his bike. He had two stuffed animals, a monkey and a squirrel, hanging from his back pack, and he was talking to himself. This is why I live in the city. People like this make me feel sane.
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Dirty Carpet?

My friend Ralph's dog Emma does this move all the time and I have never heard him scream for a carpet cleaner.
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Love the Bag

Apparently, Cameron Diaz' bag created quite a stir in Peru. I am flabbergasted. Don't the Peruvians get camp? Or maybe I am just sensitive because I bought the same bag in China and have been using it frequently, except it has Mao Zedong's face instead of a star. I was thrilled with the press for two reasons 1) they called the bag, "trendy" and 2) I know now that my bag says "serve the people," one of Mao's most famous political slogans.
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SUICIDE GIRLS RADIO PODCAST

Not to interrupt everybody's fun commenting on the last thingy. But for those of you who were wondering, the Suicide Girls have now put up an MP3 Podcast of my appearance on their radio show. So now you can enjoy that. Unfortunately it seems like they cut out all the music I brought with me that night. So you'll hear me introduce songs and then just come right back and start blabbing away again.

I haven't listened to this all the way through. I guess I'll have to sometime. I do remember they were as interested in their other guest Satya the Buddhist dominitrix, as in me. Which is fine. I like Satya. She didn't say so on the radio show, but she's like this very intense Buddhist scholar as well. She reads Sanskrit, has taken grad level courses in India, all kinds of impressive stuff. On the radio they mostly had her talking about whips and restraints. So if you're into that sort of thing that's on the Podcast too.

Anyway, just wanted to make that announcement. Now you can go back to commenting about doing Zazen alone or whatever.
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Episode 4!!!




Rozz plays a horrible prank on me. It's mean!

And plus, you get to see me sleepy, with horrible hair, and absolutely no make-up.

What can make better tv than that?

Click on the picture to watch it. =)
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Aussie Bum

My friend Michael (to the right) had an Australian friend in town named Peter (to the left). They met while Michael was living in Copenhagen and Peter now lives in New York City. He was in DC for a librarian convention (yawn). Michael, Peter, Farris, David and I went to dinner at Mendocino Grille and Wine Bar in Georgetown, which I thought was delicious and then to be bar, where we were joined by Daren and Tom. It was a fun night, as you can tell by the following pictures.







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Donnie's Dan's Birthday

I have always thought that my friend Dan is Donny Osmond's love child, and I think this picture of the two of them proves it. They are even wearing the same mock turtle neck sweater. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Tonight was Dan's birthday celebration. We started at Merkado for dinner and then we all came back to my house for drinks, games, presents, and cupcakes from Cake Love. Delicious.

We bought Dan a blow job kit, which included a plastic hairnet, gloves, apron, and sleeves to protect his squeaky clean "Osmond-like" image from being tarnished by unsightly stains.

We also gave him a Trash Talkin Turleen doll. You press her belly button and she belches, laughs, and says things like, "Pour me a double, I am drinkin fer two" and "Bubba Jr, get off your sister." Happy Birthday Dan.
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Grandma

Every year, Tom and Marcia have a Christmas sleepover at their house. A big group of us get together, exchange gifts, play games, drink too much, and watch Christmas horror movies. This was a picture taken at one of these events a few several years ago. All the way to the left is our friend Reggie, who we call Grandma, because he acts and talks like one.

Reggie has been battling massive kidney problems the past few years, needing dialysis three times a week and battling infections with frequent hospital visits. But, he always bounced back. On Wednesday, we found out that he was at GW Hospital and that he would most likely not bounce back. We got to the hospital and walked into his room in the ICU right as he took his last breath. Even though I know he is no longer suffering and in pain, I can't help but think the world is a little less bright because he is no longer here.

I picture Reggie sitting on his favorite stool at the gay bar in heaven telling the other angels that "I ought to spank your bottom" or after hearing one of their stories saying, "I mean really." We will all miss you Reggie.
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ZAZEN BY ALONE (Part A Million)

OK. Today I was trying to answer some of the e-mail people keep sending me. As I’ve said before, I read everything. But I’m usually so swamped with “real job” stuff that it’s nigh on impossible to answer even a fraction of what I get.

The following e-mail expresses some things that I get asked a lot. So maybe if I answer this it’ll be relevant to a number of people out there with similar questions:

“I wonder if the following could be a subject for one of your posts. I’ve done zen meditation for 2 years now. I started joining a soto-shanga in Amsterdam for 6 months. I don't regret it. They taught me how to sit, how to breathe and meditating in a group can be really uplifting. But there were a few things I didn't like: the sutra-chanting, the bowing for the buddha-statue and the 'responsible monk' had kinda authoritarian habits. For example, he didn't like my questions, though I found them quite innocent. When I asked him why wearing a kesa was so important for him, he gave me a long, deep glance and stated: "My kesa is the cosmos." And when I asked him what 25 years of zen exactly brought him, he gave me an even deeper, not to say furious glance, and said solemn: "The essence". I couldn't help laughing, and he didn't like it. So I left his sangha and started to sit by myself, at home.

“Now a lot of zennies try to convince me that sitting on your own is impossible. I can never do it without a good teacher, they say. Now I would like to have one, but I can't find him. My meditation is slowly getting better and deeper. I might not be a perfect zen-BUDDHIST, but my wife, who is Japanese, always says: "You western people confuse the paraphernalia of eastern wisdom with eastern wisdom itself. Forget about the kesas, the statues and the sutras." I try to avoid evil and try to practice good. Already for years I’ve tried to solve the lines from the Heart-sutra 'form is emptiness and emptiness is form'. My question is: is my zen worse than 'sangha-zen'? Isn't it better to avoid crap teachers and stick to the classics zen literature and face the challenge at home? And: do I have to be a convinced zen-buddhist to practice pure zen? I wonder I you one day could elaborate on this. If not: already your writings are a source of inspiration and encouragement to me. Thanks a lot.”


And thank you for asking!

I’ve just come back from the San Francisco Zen Center (SFZC) and it’s got me thinking a lot along these lines. SFZC is probably a bit like the place you attended — a large, professionally run Zen center with an established physical space and a permanent staff. The staff at SFZC rotates, as do the staff of most similar centers, but the positions are filled at all times. In order to keep a place like that going you have to establish it more or less the same way you run a business. There has to be a hierarchy within the organization, there have to be policies, there needs to be a set curriculum for students and established rules and rituals for members to follow. Otherwise the whole thing goes to Hell.

When most people think of Zen, they think of places like this, whether they know it or not. The great monasteries of China and Japan both ancient and modern were and are all run pretty much the same way.

This is one stream of Zen. I’d say it’s probably the main one, the one you’re most likely to run into if you Google the words Zen and the name of your home town and head off to the first place that pops up on the screen.

I happen to have studied in a different style. The two teachers I had were from lines under the overall umbrella of the Soto school. But both of these lines rebelled against the way the Soto school as an organization ran things. The Soto school, to their credit, allows and even to some extent encourages this.

Since Buddhist teachers tend to call themselves “priests” and/or “monks,” most people tend to assume things are run pretty much like the Holy Roman Catholic Church runs things. But that’s not really the case. I could write a book about this — and I am kinda/sorta doing that — but this is s’posta be a casual blog entry so I won’t go into it much more than that.

I cannot say across the board whether the institutional type way of running things is better or worse that the very loose way things were handled by my teachers (and by my teachers’ teachers too). It’s up to the individual to see what works for him or her. I can say most definitely that I would not have pursued this Zen thing as long as I did if the only forms available were the institutional ones. Not a chance in Hell. Some representatives of the institutional stream might think that’d have been a good thing. Let 'em think whatever they want.

However, I am glad those Zen institutions exist and I often encourage people who write me in far away places to go to them. I do not know first-hand whether or not the particular teachers in any of these institutions are good, bad or indifferent. Some people, like Mr. “I Found The Essence” you talked to take themselves waaaaaaayyyyyyyy too seriously. Some are far too concerned with matters of protocol, ritual and who’s higher than who in the pecking order and all that nonsense. Some don’t give a shit about any of that stuff but allow a certain amount of it to go on in their places just so everything keeps running smoothly. You don’t know until you spend some time with them. It's not something you can usually judge very quickly.

If the only places to practice in your neighborhood seem like big ol’ monk factories and you hate that, I’d say go there anyway. Sit with your hate. Maybe it’s justified. Just sit with it. Maybe your impressions are completely wrong. Don’t matter. Just sit. If the place is really a snake pit, you'll probably figure it out soon enough and you can leave. Or maybe you'll be one of those idiots who follows the cult leader to the Kool Aid® tray, in which case I can't really help you. I tend to suspect that those types don't read my stuff anyway (or else they do read it and leave snippy comments).

I am a firm believer that the right teacher will always appear eventually. Sometimes it takes a while. Just keep at it. If you have a decent bullshit detector installed in your head you probably won’t get led too far astray. Just pay attention. Ask questions. Don’t accept easy answers. Don’t be a sheep following the herd. Don't drink the Kool Aid®.

Also don’t get any fantasies that if only you could come sit with me — or some other teacher whose stuff you’ve read — everything would be just peachy. My dad met someone on-line recently who was a huge fan of my books. My dad said he was nervous about meeting this person face to face because she might expect him to be just like me. I said, “Dad, even I am not just like ‘me’ when people meet me in person!” The same goes for absolutely anyone else. If you could get in your time machine and go meet Dogen or Nagarjuna or even Buddha himself I bet you dollars to donuts you’d be tremendously disappointed in them. And I can guarantee you’d be disappointed in me!

It’s OK to keep sitting on your own and it’s OK to be skeptical of the various teachers you encounter. It’s true that you do need a teacher. But you don’t need to be in a big, huge rush to find your teacher. If you really know how to listen everyone and everything becomes your perfect teacher.
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Happy Birthday...

...to Dan and Daren...

...and Corey
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305: "300" Meets "The Office"

I think this clever mocumentary is well produced, well written, and well acted. What a great concept, combining the premise of "The Office" and the movie "300."
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America's Got Talent??

While I was in LA with Dan for "The Price is Right" in March, we stopped at Micky's for a drink. I talked about the hot strippers who were dancing, but I did not discuss a certain drag queen who was also dancing. She reminded me of Lucille Ball dressed in an Jane Fonda 80's workout video outfit, looking like a backup dancer in Olivia Newton John's "Physical" video. She had dozens of big thick plastic bracelets up her arm that she shook as she pranced about. Her facial expressions and the way she carried herself really cracked me up. Dan was mesmerized with her and tipped her a few times, as did I. Every time we tipped her, she kissed the dollar and stuck it in her bra.

Fast forward to Saturday night, I was flipping through the televison channels and came upon "America's Got Talent" where I saw our favorite LA drag queen on TV. The screen said her name was Tammie Brown from Long Beach, California. When asked what her talent was, she responded, "Well, singing and dancing and prancing." She obviously had nothing prepared as she started to prance and talk/sing, "Happy as a clam oh yes I am. Happy as a clam why yes I am." She mercifully got buzzed off within a few seconds.

While searching YouTube for a clip of Tammie Brown on America's Got Talent, I stumbled upon her "World Premiere" music video for her song, "Whatever" from her upcoming CD. It is awful, but worth a look.

BOOK TOUR REPORT

I keep meaning to update this dog goned blog. But for the past week or so I've been running around like a crazy person. I've also got a bunch of requests for articles that I need to get to. If I can manage to think of something to write you should be seeing pieces by me in Shambala Sun, Whole Life Times and Alternative Press before too long.

It's kind of interesting to be so in-demand and yet at the same time so completely obscure. I've noticed a very modest rise in attendance at the Saturday morning Zazen sittings at the Hill Street Center. But the increase has been so slight that I am yet again convinced that my career as a writer and my work as a Zen teacher are two very different things.

Anyway, I'm gonna try and write a bit about my trip up to Northern California. Here's the gig-by-gig version.

TUESDAY JUNE 12, VIRGIN MEGASTORE, SAN FRANCISCO: I was pretty psyched about this gig since I'm a fan of the Virgin Megastore. Of the big chain record stores in the USA they tend to be the most well-stocked. In Tokyo, HMV took over that honor when Virgin closed its big shop in Shinjuku. But I've yet to see an HMV in the USA, so Virgin is still the best over here. I didn't draw an enormous crowd. But the people who did show up made up for that in their enthusiasm.

WEDNESDAY JUNE 13
9 AM Interview with Gary Gach of BuddhistChannel.tv: This was a lot of fun. Gary's a long-time Zen student and San Francisco resident. He actually typed the answers I gave to his questions verbatim into his computer as I talked. I'd never seen that done before. Then he showed me some of the cool sights in SF's North Beach area.
1:30 PM Lunch at New World Library: I got to see where my new book was published and got to meet the people responsible. They also publish The Power of Now, which Paris Hilton bought and posed with before going to jail. So they have a huge blow-up of that photo on the wall. Nice place, nice people.
4 PM Radio Interview with Anthony Wright: A long in-depth interview for radio by another long-time Zennie from the Bay area. He tunes pianos for a living, so his show is called Atunements. This will be podcast later. I'll post a link here when I get it.
7:45 PM Radio Interview with Michael Sammet of KZSC in Santa Cruz: This was very cool cuz Michael had obviously read my new book thoroughly and had very specific questions. You don't normally get this in radio interviews. It's usually like, "So you were punk rock and now you're Zen, tell us about that." But actually none of this day's interviews were like that. We even had a phone caller on this one!

THURSDAY JUNE 14, GATEWAYS BOOK STORE in SANTA CRUZ: It took forever to get to Santa Cruz from San Francisco. Luckily I 'd stopped by Amoeba Records before I set out and bought a Yoko Ono compilation CD. It was all her early screamy stff, very hard to take but somehow a good soundtrack for endless traffic jams. I go back and forth on playing music while driving. Mostly it just annoys me these days unless it's something I actively want to listen to. I don't like to turn on the radio just to have some sound happening like most people seem to. I'm either actively listening to something or I just turn it off completely. Anyway, the bookstore was fun. Kind of a new agey shop like Bodhi Tree in LA, but smaller. Afterwards John Malkin, author of "Sounds of Freedom," who did a great interview with Nishijima Sensei (I need to find the link), took me to eat at the Satur'n Cafe. It's a vegetarian malt shop. Seriously.

(Prior to going down to Sant Cruz I met Mark Nagata, owner of one of the world's most extensive collections of Ultraman memorabilia. Very cool.)

FRIDAY JUNE 15
2 PM Interview with Tony Dushane of Pirate Cat Radio: Fun interview at a cool coffee shop in the Mission district. Tony has interesting facial hair, a kind of Ghoulari-ish goatee. Wish I could grow one of those. The show's called Drinks With Tony, and can be found at drinkswithtony.com (my interview's not up yet, but keep checking)
7:30 PM After Dinner Talk at San Francisco Zen Center: This deserves an article of its own. I'm working on it. But for now I'll just say it was a very good crowd, all very interested in Dogen. There's way too much I want to say about SFZC than I can write here.
10:20 PM Interview with Richard Ciccarone at Pirate Cat Radio: Actually Richard does a show with a woman whose name I've totally forgotten. That was fun. The interview questions came off a Starbuck's application. It was actually really interesting to try and make philosophical type observations based on those.

SATURDAY JUNE 16, COPPERFIELD'S BOOKS in PETALUMA: Petaluma is this neat old town way North of San Francisco. I think it's even past the Marin County border in whatever county is next. This was an interesting crowd. They mostly looked kind of like Northern California former hippies, but they had a lot of good questions. I have a secret affection for ex-hippies. As a punk rocker, I'm supposed to hate the hippies. But I never have. In Zero Defex I used to wear bell bottoms sometimes just to annoy hippie-haters. I could go on and on and on about the Sixties. But I'll spare you. 1966 was obviously the peak year creatively. For all the talk of the Summer of Love in '67, to me that seems like the year when the whole thing started going sour. By '68, it was turning decisively negative and yet The Beatles did my 2nd favorite album of theirs that year (The White Album, their best is Revolver from '66). Blah-blah-blah...

SUNDAY JUNE 17
8 AM Interview on KRON-TV with Henry Tannebaum: Tommy Strange, guitarist for Zero Defex and long-time resident of San Francisco told me he liked Henry Tannebaum's show Gardening With Henry, so I figured this would be all right. And it was. A very short interview with me in stupid Buddhist robes. Fun. I'll post it whenever the folks at New World Library get around to sending me the tape.
10 AM-NOON: Hanging out with Tommy Strange. You have weird interactions among the members of a band. Although you work together it seems like every four piece band will break down into two 2-person friendships and a more basic working relationship with the others. Me and Mike, the drummer, were friends in the Zero Defex days while I didn't ever get that close to Jimi (vocals) or Tommy. The first two times I saw Tommy in San Francisco after 20 years were a bit awkward. But now we're gradually turning into pals. Back in the day I was too in awe of Jimi or Tommy to be really friendly with them.
3 PM Green Gulch: I attended a precept ceremony at Green Gulch, SFZC's organic farm in Marin County. Very interesting place.
5 PM San Quentin Prison: I just wrote a very long article about this for the Suicide Girls website. It'll "go live" at Noon on Saturday June 23rd. See it there. And remember, you don't have to join to see the articles. And you won't see any titties and bums unless you actually sign up and pay money to do so. So don't worry.

On Monday I came back to LA. But life's adventure never stops.

Remember we have an all-day Zazen on Saturday June 23rd at the Hill Street Center (details to your left). There are stills spaces avaialbale. BUT YOU MUST RESERVE BY FRIDAY!!! Last month a couple people reserved at like 11PM Friday night or even sent mails we didn't get until Saturday morning, or just showed up. We really can't accomodate more than twelve people at these all-day things. Walk-ins are fine on the other days. But please reserve a spot early for the all-day ones. OK?
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Whatever Happened to...?

If you have ever seen a biography of Britney Spears, you know that she was a contestant on Star Search in 1992. She won the first round, but a blonde boy beat her in the second round, and she looked shocked. Every time I see the clip, I think to myself, I wonder whatever happened to the boy that beat Britney Spears on Star Search.

Well, here he is. His name is Marty Thomas and he is currently in the cast of Xanadu on Broadway. You can hear his music, see more of his pictures, and catch up on his life on his MySpace page here.

Too many photos!

Unbelievably enough, when I was out the other day, two blog readers (Nope, I will never use the word "fans". Oh gross! It's like so buay hiao bai like that) actually approached me.


The first one said he likes my blog but can I please update more often??

The second one said she likes my blog but there are too little photos nowadays!!!



Sigh... I cannot even go out in peace without being harassed to do work leh... But nonetheless, I've decided to oblige.


Ladies, gentlemen, and people-who-hate-me-but-read-me-religiously, I present to you...


136 photos.


NYC trip

As most of you already know, Rozz and I were chosen to be the webcast hosts for Singapore Day in Manhattan, NY.

That was donkey years ago though, because I was just too lazy to go edit and post up all the photos. That, and because I hate you. HA! Just kidding! I love you guys!


On the plane ride! Rozz took a photo of me looking glum.

Who wouldn't be?

23 hours on the plane to look forward to!


My little flight schedule thingy.

It's really important to know all the foreign time being converted to local time, so you won't miss your flights!

That, and if everything is converted to local time you can also calculate how long you will be on the plane. =)


My This Fashion jeans that has an elastic band.
Super comfy for plane rides!


Ready to fly!!

No make up + a gold sparrow necklace that Rozz bought for me.

*kisses for Rozzie!!*


Hours later, we arrive at the JFK airport in New York!

Seeing angmohs as service staff takes some getting used to:


It appears NY welcomes us!




Rozz bought boxes and boxes of these Ferraro Rocher in Frankfurt for 11 pounds each! They are really pretty, aren't they?

I want the pink ones...

AND HELLO NEW YORK!!




Ok, here's the thing...

I don't really like NY that much.

I KNOW! SHOCKING! I much prefer LA, coz I think the things in NY are simply too expensive!!

You can't drive there because traffic conditions are so bad, and cabs are expensive (well not unaffordable, but still, even on a cab you take damn long to get to any place because the traffic is so bad), and I hate walking "just a few blocks"!!

I DON'T LIKE WALKING!! Unless I am in flat shoes and I don't wanna wear flat shoes in Manhattan! Bah!

I don't know what I expected from NY really, but it's just like any other city in US except maybe there are a lot of flagship stores here for various big brands...

I guess I really expected to see Central Perk around the corner and celebrities everywhere... o_0

But nope, no celebrities, and best of all, no WALMART!!!

I was sooooooooo looking forward to going to walmart!! (Cannot is it? I know la, where got people can go to NY want to go to walmart... But walmart is really wu chao zuo zhi ok!)

So anyway, in NYC a bottle of mineral water costs US$2.

=S$3.50.

It's ok in a fancy restaurant, but people get thirsty often man! I don't wanna fucking spend so much everytime I want a drink!!

Hotdog stands selling hotdogs for 2 for US$5.

= almost S$4 for 1 hotdog!! MADNESS! Ikea's one is nicer, got unlimited sauces and only $1!!

I won't say I hate the place - I still like it - but once in NYC is enough man. I'd choose Vegas over NY anyday. NY is for sibeh rich people man!

Where do these NY people buy their groceries? I saw like NO place selling groceries.

No wonder in Friends they are always eating pizzas.

Also, I guess that 4 days is not enough for me to fully appreciate NY... we also didn't have people take us to places to go to, and that's why... Rozz and I had the most awful food the first day.

It was like cold noodles and some other rubbish. I pushed away my bowl of obscenities and took self-whoring shots instead:





I was trying to show off my chun li hair buns!

After this, we went to Vivienne Tam, who was sponsoring our evening gowns for the gala dinner.




So nice!

I tried to take a photo with Miss Tam herself, but she was a tad curt and said she was busy. =(

NY celebrities can't be assed with Singaporean bloggers!!!

(Ok then I guess I DID see celebrities, but I expected like A list sorts)


Taking the subway


Joan snapping a pic of us

For dinner, Joan's friend brought us to a nice Thai restaurant!


Super yummy duck curry!


Loved it

Next day, rise and shine!!

It's hello Central Park, Wollman Ice Skating Rink (although there is no ice currently, of course)!








Gillian looking glum for some reason...


Shooting me shooting her




Perfect weather made everyone happy


I had to


One more


Is that the empire state building behind us?




Pink extensions


For some reason, the heavy equipment were baby pink!!

Looking at them made me happy!!

And also, the leggy guys over there are like waiters??

MADNESS I TELL YOU.

The waiters over in NY are super good-looking!

Most of them are guys though, and they all look like models!! I was talking to this Singaporean professor who stayed in NY for many years, and she laughingly told me that all these waiters are all actors waiting to be discovered, that's why they wait on tables in the meantime.

Well, their loss is our gain! Hehe...


Preparing for the big day

End of rehearsals!


Outside Central Park


Gillian and I

G has such smiley eyes!


Walking along


Isn't this nice?

It's exactly like in storybooks!!

People are frolicking in the park's lush grass bare-footed! Kids are running about happily! Adults are at peace with the world and hugging on the park benches! Teenagers are playing frisbee while celebrating their youth!



I'm not even joking.

The perfect weather makes me want to sing and do cartwheels!


Tralala!!


Me + a statue...

It looks like one of those neoprint things where the background is fake. But it's real!


These horses are reallllly smelly!



AND SINGAPORE DAY ITSELF!


So excited about the fooooood!!




Laksa!

Notice chio angmoh waitress in background


Roti Prata

And Hokkien mee from Tai Hong!


Tai Hong put up a picture of Rozz and I when we interviewed him on GoL!


I wish he was my personal chef...

And we saw sibeh cute angmoh children!





Who is a SIA stewardess no less!!

Hen cute hor? The soft blonde curly hair is almost too much for me to take man. I want to hug her till she bursts!

And guess what Singaporeans are best at?



Queuing la!!!

An estimated 7k people came, and all the food was gone in a jiffy!

It was heartwarming really, to see Singaporeans overseas missing home...


Pure Chinese kid right? But why like even ABCs are cuter than locally bred children? Very weird hor? Is it the weather?


Hehe, the boy's guardians.

Ok, I know these two guys' photo begs the question: "Are they gay?"

I have no idea, they had a kid with them!

But if they are gay, then I think they make a pretty nice couple. Or maybe they are brothers? It's a mystery I will never find out.


My act cute outfit.

WHAT? I will never have a chance to wear my hot pink leggings in Singapore lor!


Straight hair.
My curling tongs got fucked and I had to borrow Rozz's straightening iron!


Rozz's boots!!

She had to borrow my pink socks and she said she felt very uncomfortable coz she knew that somewhere on her she has pink. LOL


OEI ROZZ pink is nice ok!


The crowds


Sambal stingray in NYC!


The $65 pink Hello Kitty bag I bought from the super cute Hello Kitty store!

I HAD to buy something from there lor... They even sold Hello Kitty TVs, Video cams, etc you know! It's so nice!

We move on to NY's famous public library. This is where they filmed The Day After Tomorrow, amidst other movies.

Random photos:







In America, everything is about extremes!!

That's why burgers have 8 slices of ham and 2 slices of cheese!

What's the point of slicing things so thinly, I wonder?


And that's it, back to Singapore via SQ!

Mike came to fetch me at 6am in the morning, and it's so funny that he is the one fetching me from Changi Airport... =)

I was so happy to see him I might have molested him on the spot.

More random photos:


Simmons party Rozz invited me to


Rozz and Doug


Me and Doug!

Pointless, only got 3 photos...


I've got a heart-shaped skin abrasion on my foot!

Isn't it cute?

I bought the Tommy slippers from NY for only $12! That's because they were for kids. LOL


Me without make up on a kelong.

I shall skip on this kelong story because it wasn't fun - for me at least.

Guess what Gillian got for me for my birthday!


Even the plastic bag is in my favourite shade of pink! (mind you, there are some shades of pink I don't like! Super anal one.)


Calvin Klein (I keep typing Calvin Kelvin) undies and still in my favourite shade of pink!


Plus a lovely Juicy bracelet! A real one! (I got a lot of fake ones... Haha)

So happy! Thanks G! All I did for your birthday was to draw and paste ugly stuff!



Was digging through Qihua's bag when I saw this bikini she bought and I fell in love with it!!

To my despair she said that the shop sold her the last piece, but then again she cheered me up by saying she bought the bikini set on impulse and would sell it to me!!

She didn't even wear it before lor!

I bought it for $80 (the original price being $99) from her. Shiok!!

I really like this bikini leh... It's baby pink with golden polka dots on it, a golden clamp in the middle, and at the back of the ass is the brand of the bikini in cursive golden fonts. =)

Also took a few shots of Mike's future condo...

Moving on on August 1!! Super excited.

These are the current tenant's furniture.


The balcony is freaking huge!!


Sorry for the blurness... Living room area...


Kitchen


Guest toilet


Guest room...

The current tenant is staying alone so he put all the excess owner's furniture in this room.

Mike's going to make this room into his workshop! Plus a bed for guests. LOL... I pity our guests, have to sleep in sawdust.

The master bedroom (I keep typing masterbat.. you know what I was typing. Something wrong with me) is huge!


Part 1


And part 2!

The two parts make the master bedroom.

I get to use that space for my princess room!! So excited leh!


Cupboard in princess room


Our toilet!


Mike's wardrobe.

The master bedroom itself has 4 built-in wardrobe/cupboards can?

SO SHIOK!

And it is bigger than what it looks like on the pictures. 1,500 Sq feet. =)

Back to random pictures...

(After 2 hours I am STILL writing this blog entry. -_-)





QQ and Kelvin brought Mike, Tim and I to eat at this Shin something restaurant at Vivo City!

The food there is super nice! You can order a lot of things on charcoal grilled skewers, like foie gras (2 pieces for $8.80, as seen in first picture), golden mushrooms wrapped with beef, etc.

Yummy!

We ordered so much the bill came up to $40 per person though. Sigh.


Manhattan Fish Market

With Shuyin, ZC, Wanyi, and Alvin


Charring the prawns


Super yummy!

The lemon butter garlic whatever sauce is super yummy! It's like clam chowder but not so thick. *slurp*


My sea bass


Wanyi and ZC.

I took this picture, and I said, "OEI! YOU ALL CAN BE MORE LIVELY OR NOT??"

And they did this...

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Damn jia jia lor...


Teo lala and me


Food finished!


My ninja tamagotchi (doesn't get more random than this)


Vesak Day!

For some spastic reason, we went to Zouk despite reports of it being so freaking full, the queue went all the way up to the bridge.


In Kelvin's car before we knew what was going to befall upon us



With Timmy


With Baby

After some heavy elbowing of the crowds, we finally arrived at Member's. Bah! (Thanks to Jack who brought us in)


QQ acting cute


Kelvin getting kissed by Tim




Candid shot! Hahaha... Tim is going to kill me


Painted Mike's toenails when he was drunk and asleep. Hehe

It took him all morning to discover it! Hahaha


NABEH TO THE GSS!!!

Great Singapore Sale has taken its toil on my pocket!!

Here's my damage:


$53


$23


$48

All from Forever 21.

You know what? The shops keep saying SALE!! outside, but once you go in, the sales items are like occupying one small corner! Then you end up buying the non-sales items!

Grrrr...


$10 bikini.

When I was looking at this bikini, I said to myself, "Woah so cheap, good, I buy already put at home..." and Eekean, who was beside me, replied, "Yeah well, that's a good logic, I really get it... So you buy it, and you don't wear it and put it at home!"

-_-

Actually what I meant was to put in in the new condo so that when my girlfriends come over and if they don't have a bikini they can use this!! Thoughtful mah!

When I explained this to Eekean she said she never coming over then coz she won't wear this pink contraption.

SO FUSSY ONE LOR! On the $10 rank only got pink so I buy pink lah! The other design is like pink flowers can?


$36


$23

From FOX. Sigh... I bought the jacket only because it is... in my favourite shade of... blah blah you already know what I am going to say. Plus it is comfy! I'd wear it on plane rides. =D


Make Up Store glitter eyeshadow. Pretty!

And worst of all...

Guess bag $159!

Original price was $189...

I bought it coz I liked the colour (duh! I need to stop being a slave of pink) and I wanted a big bag!

But it is so pointless as a big bag because the bag is already quite heavy even without a lot of stuff inside!!

-_-

If anyone wants to buy this from me I'd gladly sell it.

I don't want to total up my shopping expenses, so please don't do it hor, thank you. It's all proudly done in like one day.


Mike looking at the Suntec fountain. And it's pink!

Last batch of photos!

CK in 2 u party!










QQ, her friend Michelle, and me!

We started to kiss the CK poster model!


QQ really look like she loves this guy lor, go and kiss people's nose


Michelle look like hua chi


QQ also likes the girl


I look like I am horny for this guy

And the angmoh!!!









Wah lau don't know him...

When I commented that his hand is too high up on the tits he said he is squeezing it up. -_-

And last of all, to end of this longest blog entry in the world, are models!!


THE CK MODELS ARE A NEH NEH FEST!!! You'll see what I mean...


Rozz hosting


Celebrities


Really cute models...




Neh neh (sorry it's blur, she kept moving...)


Neh neh


NEH NEH!


NEH NEH NEH NEH!!!

Ok, thus ends my blog entry.
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