Things I learned In Vegas

I am finally feeling like I may be able to function in some normal capacity again as I continue my recovery from my  weekend in Vegas.


It really was a picture-perfect trip (minus the super late arrival thanks to the longest airport to hotel transfer ever and the drama filled pre-departure medical snafu on my way home). For no longer than I was there, I can say with certainty that there was not a moment of potential fun left untapped or anything less than maximized.  You kids would be very proud of your Randy Girl!

I was able to check off nearly all the items on the Truth or Dare list. Pictures of most will be forthcoming. Oddly enough the one I couldn't nail down was Elvis... never saw him during my whole trip and I was looking!

While I compile the pics to accompany by trip recap, I will share with you a few things that I learned in Vegas on this trip just for fun

Things I learned in Vegas:


  • Never take a group shuttle from the airport. Cab or limo it. It's totally worth the extra $ to get to your hotel and get the party started asap. 
  • Shorts are the new dress/skirt "going out uniform" option: Super sexy, highly functional, and less risk of your ass hanging out in the strong Vegas breeze 
  • You can never meet too many sexy foreign guys. I tested this theory. It's science. 
  • VIP access at any club is easy. All you have to do is A) be a hot chick and B) be with another hot chick and C) not bring guys with you 
  • Breakfast is best when consumed immediately after the club closes and with a bunch of hot international guys at the table with you. Nothing says "good morning" better than listening to the Brazilian talk to the Germans about cars over an omelet and toast. 
  • Pool time is best spent when combined with lots of ice cold drinks, a great DJ, and an A-Rod look-alike. 
  • Squeezing an hour long power nap in between pool time and going out, especially if one finds themselves unintentionally day drunk, is highly recommended.
  • See PeepShow. Great show, amazingly hot and mostly naked girls (Including Holly Madison from "Girls Next Door") and guys who can actually dance, and good way to spend a few hours before the clubs get going
  • VIP access on a holiday weekend is a must. Otherwise we would have spent hours in line with thousands of other people to get into the pool/clubs at the Palms all weekend. Thanks to a little luck and twitter, we were hooked up with VIP/no waiting/no paying for anything privileges and it totally rocked. 
  • If a guy is short and angry at tall women in his normal real life, he will be even more angry and aggressive in Vegas when he comes across tall women. Francisco, you need anger management classes my friend. 
  • Keenan Cahill is hilarious to watch. Youtube him. You will see what I am talking about. He "performed" with LMFAO at Tao on Saturday night. The video is linked below. 
  • There is such a thing as "too many fucking people" in a nightclub. Not that I don't enjoy being smashed up against sweaty strangers for hours at a time but still... there has to be a limit. 
  • If you are guy, you better get your wallet out. Cover for guys was anywhere from $50 to $1000 just to get in the door most places for Memorial Day Weekend.  Average drink price was $20 almost everywhere we went. It would suck to be a dude in Vegas on MDW. 
  • After miles of walking and hours upon hours of dancing, even the most comfortable heels become devices of torture. You will not see a girl actually wearing her heels by the end of the night. Sexy sky-high heels are a must for going out in Vegas but all there is in the taxi line at the end of the night are a bunch of limping, barefoot girls in cute dresses.
  • If you ever need them, the medics at LAS airport are a cracker jack team. And cute. Just sayin' 
If you want a chronological breakdown (and a bikini pic if I recall correctly) it can all be found in my twitter feed as I decided to make it an interactive trip.  I will most likely be sharing some more tales of my shenanigans, because you know I have some good ones,  and few more pics after I get everything unpacked and regrouped from the trip.